“MAD Lose Game They Couldn’t Lose”

Match: 15 / 358

Lost by 16 runs

Team	Total
Harwell International CC	172 - 9
C. Roberts 3 - 31, J. Hoskins 2 - 27
FFTMCC	156
R. Turner 48, I. Howarth 23

On odd one this one. Very odd indeed. At no point during the game’s duration did the Far from the MCC actually entertain the notion of losing. None whatsoever. It was just a matter of time until they inevitably won. Which of course they didn’t. Only during the game’s finale did this arrogant confidence evaporate, after R. P. Turner tore up the script for cajoling perennial #11, Mr. Bob Roberts, to the finishing line – thus ushering in a miserable, hollow sinking feeling that descended on the row of striped deckchairs seating The MAD. Bugger. So maybe, just maybe the FFTMCC should have contemplated losing? And in doing so, they might have been a little less... complacent maybe...?

“Well done, lads – we never thought you could lose that one. But you did. Amazing effort.”

On winning the toss, aforementioned Skipper for the day, Mr. Turner, inserted the Harwellites in on a dryish pitch of unknown qualities. Other than a few that would keep relatively low later on, these qualities proved reasonably good for both bat and ball, so hats off to the groundsman for that.

With a paucity of opening bowlers at his disposal, Russ opted to hand the new ball to Howerth as a partner to the ever improving Bob Roberts. Ian (5-1-21-0) bowled a few good ones in between the customary shit down leg and regulatory slow-bouncer (read half tracker), whilst Bob kept it tight as he sees his economy gaining continual improvement.

Time for the pie. Messrs Hoskins (8-1-27-2) and Smith (7-0-30-1) baked with aplomb, with the former bowling with hat and without hat, over the wicket and around the wicket, at pace and without pace, and with the dismissal of P. Ecclestone (35) – applauding the wicket by himself before the dismissal occurred. Those amazing powers of prediction JMO uses on the gee-gees obviously bearing some fruit here. Continuing the theme of flan throwing and with the oven now at optimum temperature – Tokyo Timms (8-0-33-2) found his fried dumplings an appetiser too great to resist, inducing Thykkathu (7) and Wise (16) into one hoik too many.

Under strict instructions to never bowl for The MAD again, S. L. P. Dobner (5-0-25-1) ignored the wishes of both his long suffering wife and physio, to rattle off a late flurry of high-octane trundlers – complemented in style by the returning Roberts (7-1-31-3), as Harwell were restricted to 172-9 off their allotted overs.

Tea. Get your pie on.

Time for fine dining and a good moan with The Simpsons. With both sides now bathing in the afternoon sun, Howard bitched on about his surname being incorrect in the scorebook (once more), whilst others bitched on about Russ’ curious neglect in serving up any pizza for tea. How can you possibly go by the nickname of Homer and not have any pizza? Jesus, you can get three frozen pizzas in Tesco for £4, or six for £8, or… unbelievable.

In reply, Emerson (21) and Carter (16) put on 35 for the first MAD wicket before they decided to spank some full bungers in the air. Mellor (7) tried as well, but failed, instead opting to leave his stumps unguarded. A veritably dodgy 48-3 saw a notable improvement as it rose to 78-4, with Mr. Dobner flexing his muscle in imposing a tragic 13, before his run of routine dismissals was snapped by somehow getting himself caught pulling a ball to short third man.... No, we haven’t a clue either.

Mr. S. L. P. Dobner facing Thykkathu.

With the optimistic Hoskins adding a further 6 to The MAD total, it brought Howoth to the crease, and he duly helped the Skipper plunder runs hither and thither in advancing the total to an impregnable 131-5 off 28 overs. It was serene, it was easy and it was an absolute doddle from here on in. Victory there for the taking.

But not if you're The MAD....

No, especially not… if… you… are… The… MAD.

Hawart (23) then got a good one, Smith (5) got a straight one, and Messrs Hotson (0) and Timms (3) got low ones. Suddenly 21 were needed with just the talismanic Roberts (2*) to partner his Skipper home. And we already know that that didn’t happen....

Another one bites the dust….

With George Godfrey Gerald Carter triggering Russ Homer Turner Simpson for 48, Harwell CC achieved the seemingly implausible – winning a game neither they, nor The MAD had even contemplated happening some twenty minutes previous.

(…the deepest of deeply deep sighs)

But good on ‘em.

Always a pleasure, lads – see you next year.

‘Haywerd’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Harwell International CC Played at Brasenose College, 21 June 2015 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to field Harwell International CC won by 16 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none

15 / 358 40 over match

Team	Harwell International CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	P. Ecclestone *	b Hoskins	35		5	-	3-72
2	A. Smith	b Hoskins	16		1	-	1-34
3	J. Uzzell	b Smith	10		-	-	2-62
4	S. Hawkes	c Dobner b Roberts	28		3	-	7-146
5	A. Khan †	b Dobner	24		-	-	4-126
6	N. Thykkathu	c Mellor b Timms	7		1	-	5-133
7	M. Quirk	b Roberts	4		1	-	6-139
8	M. Hills	b Roberts	2		-	-	8-146
9	A. Adams	not out	6		-	-	-
10	P. Wise	lbw b Timms	16		3	-	9-168
11	S. Boag	not out	3		-	-	-
	Extras	W13, LB5, B3	21
	TOTAL	(for 9 wickets, 40 overs)	172

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Roberts	7	1	31	3
2	Howarth	5	1	21	0
3	Hoskins	8	1	27	2
4	Smith	7	0	30	1
5	Dobner	5	0	25	1
6	Timms	8	0	33	2

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	D. Emerson	c Hawkes b Thykkathu	21	(27)	4	-	2-47
2	G. Carter	c Wise b Boad	16	(27)	3	-	1-35
3	P. A. S. Mellor	b Thykkathu	7	(14)	-	-	3-48
4	R. P. Turner *	lbw b Wise	48	(79)	6	-	10-156
5	S. L. P. Dobner	c Hawkes b Thykkathu	13	(17)	2	-	4-78
6	J. D. Hoskins	b Quirk	6	(7)	-	-	5-92
7	I. Howarth	b Wise	23	(25)	2	1	6-133
8	T. P. W. Smith	b Hills	5	(12)	-	-	7-146
9	J. C. W. Hotson †	b Hills	0	(2)	-	-	8-146
10	G. J. Timms	b Hills	3	(6)	-	-	9-152
11	C. D. Roberts	not out	2	(3)	-	-	-
	Extras	W8, LB2, B2	12
	TOTAL	(all out, 36.3 overs)	156

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Adams	5	0	34	0
2	Boag	8	1	25	1
3	Thykkathu	8	1	22	3
4	Quirk	5	0	30	1
5	Wise	5.3	0	20	2
6	Hills	5	1	21	3

MOTM: R. P. Turner Champagne Moment: J. D. Hoskins’ celebratory wicket (Ecclestone) before he took it Buffet Award: S. L. P. Dobner’s fine Essex slap-up carvery (locally sourced veg)

Opposition: V069 / 07 Ground: G040 / 43 Captain: C024 / 08