Far from the MCC fines 24.05.15 v Harwell International CC (a) won by 3 wkts

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Russ	Turncoat	Making a bigger effort in the field deputising for Harwell than he did for The Mad
	Running Lord Lucan out
	Sulking
	Mental disintegration	Following his run out of Lucan
	Impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger	His running ability
	Comedy fielding	In the slips
			£1.50
Reevsie	Shit shot	To get out
	Denial	Considered his shot an excellent effort, but a fielder got in the way of it….
	Awful field settings for his own bowling	Ball regularly going through a poorly organised slip-cordon
	Clock watching	Fines clock
			£1.00
Howarth	Totally shit shot	Spooning to cover with his weight all wrong
	Playing cricket in near wet conditions	After bitching midweek about wet conditions and refusing to play a T20….
	Comedy fielding	Ball went through his long stop
	Getting lost	Finding the ground (again)
	Acting out of character	Being positive about winning the match
	Arguing
			£1.50
Jake	Fielder non-avoidance	When sweeping the ball out the middle of his bat for a certain boundary
	Duck		50p
			£0.75
Lord Lucan	Gay warm up	His exercising pre-match with Dave Shorten appeared gay at best, and completely overboard bloody ridiculous at worst….
	Cob	See above
	Bitching about Russ	[that] run out
	Achilles protection	Not injuring himself
	Acting out of character	Playing a whole game without injuring himself
	Excessive Platoon moments	Going down theatrically in the field (to attempt stop the ball)
	Swearing	At Fines Committee
	Bigot	See above
	Racist	See above, above
	Donation		15p
			£2.40
Lego	Average protection
	Drop	x 2	£1.00
	Gay warm up	His exercising pre-match with Lord Lucan appeared gay at best, and completely overboard bloody ridiculous at worst….
	Opening bowler no wicket		50p
	Hypochondriac	Whinging about his hamstring
	Fashion debacle	Red cords
	Shit attire	Crap wardrobe in general
	Festival pining / hippy wannabee	Wearing a festival armband
	Aloof mannerisms	Ignoring the Fines Committee
	Danger to environment	Allowing Midge to savage another dog
	Hogging the batting	86 balls
	Profiteering	Hiring his bat to Lord Lucan
	Poor sportsmanship	Wanting Lord Lucan dismissed so he could use his own bat
	Swearing	At Fines Committee
			£4.50
JMO	Jug avoidance	No 5-for
	General disinterest and aloof mannerisms	Ignoring the Fines Committee x 2	50p
	Alzheimer sufferer	Losing his mobile
	Technophobe	See above
	Piling pressure on Timms	Shouting “that’s out!” before Timms had caught the ball. Which of course he didn’t….
	Cob
	Arrogant dissent	Always right – even when wrong
	Average protection
	Smelly car	It smells of mackerel
			£2.50
Dave E	Comedy non-fielding	He’s precious
	False boasts	About hitting a six first ball
	Bowling avoidance	He’s precious
	Acting out of character	Lack of an alcoholic tan
	Acting out of character	Playing cricket
	Instigating a collapse	50-0 becomes 62-5
	Aboriginal umpiring	Bare feet
	Being Jamaican	West Indian attire / laidback mannerisms
	Simmering malevolence	Towards the other Dave (Lego)
	Poor self-management	No lift home
			£2.50
Psycho	Batting avoidance
	Impersonating Bob	Not batting at #11
	Comedy fielding	Ball went through his long stop
	Allowing shit advice	From Russ
	Smug	About his bowling figures
	Walking wounded	Knee strap
	Romantic involvement	With Deep Heat
	Talking	Through fines
	Refusal to bend down	When fielding
	Deciding on playing football on the pitch instead of cricket	Stopping the ball with his feet
			£2.50
Salad	Embarrassing the skipper	By catching the ball (twice)
	Batting avoidance
	Inappropriate kit	Wearing OU Office shirt
	Making Jake stretch unnecessarily	Bowling a bunch of shit down leg
	Aggressive overtones	Directed at Mark Rundle (who has enjoyed taking 7 wickets in 2 matches)
	Sulking	See above
			£1.50
Timms	Ironically cheered	For catching a ball lobbed to him by a cordon of fielders (after earlier drop)
	Drop		50p
	Golden duck		£1.00
	Lost the toss	Oh, the shock!!!	50p
	Lacking in confidence	After today’s solo debacle
	Wallowing in misery	See above
	Lacking enthusiasm	Not fielding 70 plus overs during the course of the match
			£3.00
		TOTAL	£23.65

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership < 25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber (anything) – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2