“Redemption”

Match: 16 / 403

Won by 37 runs

Team	Total
FFTMCC	147 - 6
I. Howarth 37, R. Turner 35*
Oxford University Press	110 - 7
L. Ainsworth 3 - 8

Following an EGM held in the wake of the lurid Tour of Hampshire, the Far from the MCC voted in favour of sticking with their marquee summer signing, Mr L. G. Ainsworth. Although sales of #114 emblazoned merchandise had plummeted, Lee was seen as a long-term investment and as such his sullied profile should be nurtured and his unquestionable talents nailed to the mast. In light of these developments and in absence of Slogger Shorten, Lee was installed as Skipper for the final T20 of the season. An opportunity to shine and show strength of character – a world away from piss-stained hotel floors and bondage rope.

Persistent showers throughout the day had threatened to scupper the evening’s swansong, but a late change of heart served up a rise in temperature and dreamy blue skies. After securing the toss, Captain Ainsworth now relaxed back into a striped deckchair as Team MAD set about posting a target.

Following his umpteenth cricketing retirement this year, Mr D. Emerson repaid those who invested Fantasy currency in him by smacking a quick-fire 32. He could’ve retired at the end of the over, but chose not to. Howarth (37) could also have retired at the end of a chancy, nay entertaining knock, but like his opening partner, chose not to. Mr R. P. Turner (35*) obviously values his wicket a little higher than his predecessors, thus did retire at the end of over, the only caveat being it being the final over. Retired or just not out then? One for The MAD statistician to rule over.

Turner giving the pink round thing a right slapping.

Other contributions in a decent total of 147-6 came from Hill (4 off 2 balls), Smith (7 off 7), Reeves (9 off 13) and Sunday tactician and Chieftain G. Timms (5* off 4). Which leaves one omission; the 2 runs accrued by OAP Carter, whose decision to give himself run out despite being home saw most his team mates fall on their backs holding their sides. The Carter Bros. have had their fair share of amusing dismissals in recent years, but this one ranks right up there.

In reply, Mr. Hoskins saw Howarth drop Judas Webster for a platinum duck, but in all fairness, given he was stood some 10 metres away from a mid-wicket cannon it is perhaps acceptable (unlike the bruising to Ian’s small hand). Undeterred, JMO (4-0-31-1) simply pinned Jan (2) in front of his stumps an over later. Stumps? Well, a quarter of leg stump if you asked for Keeper Carter’s verdict.

Keeper Beaumont expresses joy at seeing a flashing Zing bail….

A useful OUP top order containing Qureshi (26) and Beaumont (14) hit some lusty blows, but fell to the venerable wiles of veteran leftie Mr M. K. Reeves (4-0-15-2). Considering his broken kneecap and oversized head, Mike’s achievements with the ball, year after year, are perhaps even more remarkable. Like a fine wine, Reevsie gets better with age, even if his body mirrors some of the worst affected areas of Aleppo.

The opposition were kept in the hunt by B. Coney (24) and H. Ellanki (20), but an audience returning to their seats were then treated to a truly consummate demonstration of death bowling by one L. G. Ainsworth. Having watched Roberts (3-0-21-0) and Smith (2-0-18-0) throw some shit down leg, he brought himself on to rock OUP hopes with figures of 4-0-8-3. A spell that even spurned a resultant hat-trick, despite eight men round the bat and Mr Smith pissing up some bushes in the distance.

Victory for The MAD by 37 runs and redemption of sorts for bowler/batsman Mr Ainsworth – and yes, lest we forget, a certain Mr Timms (3-0-13-1) did pick up another cheeky wicket at the death.

Mr Shorten, although you are absent whilst dragging your family up the vertigo inducing mountains of the Yorkshire Dales, on behalf of the team, it has been a pleasure serving under your toxic blend of irrational, effervescent and thoroughly decent brand of cricket. Here’s to an equally fun and successful 2017 slogging campaign.

‘Spam’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Oxford University Press Played at Brasenose College, 19 August 2016 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 37 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none

16 / 403 20 over match

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	D. Emerson	st Beaumont b Joshi	32	(19)	5	-	1-48
2	I. Howarth	c Mishra b Joshi	37	(34)	6	-	4-82
3	G. Carter †	run out	2	(9)	-	-	2-70
4	N. S. Hill	st Beaumont b Vickers	4	(2)	1	-	3-74
5	R. P. Turner	not out	35	(29)	4	-	-
6	T. P. W. Smith	b Vickers	7	(8)	1	-	5-105
7	M. K. Reeves	b Jackson	9	(15)	1	-	6-131
8	G. J. Timms	not out	5	(4)	-	-	-
9	L. G. Ainsworth *
10	C. D. Roberts
11	J. D. Hoskins
	Extras	NB2, W10, LB2, B2	16
	TOTAL	(for 6 wickets, 20 overs)	147

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Ellanki	3	0	25	0
2	Manley	2	0	21	0
3	Joshi	4	0	23	2
4	Mishra	2	0	12	0
5	Vickers	4	0	26	2
6	Rashid	3	0	21	0
7	Jackson	2	0	15	1

Team	Oxford University Press
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	J. vdG. Webster	lbw b Hoskins	2		-	-	1-8
2	J. Qureshi	b Reeves	26		2	1	3-41
3	A. Beaumont †	b Reeves	12		1	-	2-32
4	B. Coney	c Roberts b Ainsworth	24		2	-	4-87
5	H. Ellanki	b Ainsworth	20		3	-	5-87
6	M. Rashid	c and b Timms	14		1	-	6-109
7	R. Jackson *	not out	4		-	-	-
8	J. Vickers	b Ainsworth	0		-	-	7-109
9	C. Joshi	not out	1		-	-	-
10	A. Mishra
11	D. Manley
	Extras	NB2, W2, LB1, B2	7
	TOTAL	(for 7 wickets, 20 overs)	110

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Hoskins	4	0	31	1
2	Reeves	4	0	15	2
3	Roberts	3	0	21	0
4	Smith	2	0	18	0
5	Ainsworth	4	0	8	3
6	Timms	3	0	13	1

MOTM: D. Emerson Champagne Moment: C. D. Roberts’ catch at long on Buffet Award: T. P. W. Smith’s Japanese tofu noodle bowl (extra croutons)

Opposition: V019 / 23 Ground: G040 / 55 Captain: C026 / 01