Far from the MCC fines 10.07.16 v Astons CC (h) lost by 8 wkts

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Lee	Chuntering	Throughout the game
	Drop		50p
	Causing Gary to get Buffet award	Shit fielding and drop off his bowling
	Wicketkeeper abuse
	Refusal to come off	Whilst bowling
	Attending elitist BBQ	Pearson’s secret BBQ
	Duck avoidance
	Yorking himself	Whilst batting
	Unringing ringer	Letting himself down and failing to live up to great expectations
			£2.50
Gary T	Being dictated to	By Lee (bowling)
	Showing off	Wicket with second ball
	Losing the toss		50p
	Fining in private
	Hitting the keeper in the head	Ball ricochets off stumps onto Moo’s head
	Balancing ball on wicket
	Smug
			£2.00
Lord Lucan	Aggressive shouting at team mates	Telling Spam to “fuck off”
	Getting in…	…then out (whilst batting)
	Being hip	Trendy modern beard
	Running slower than walking	Mincing
	Drop		50p
	Provoking reverse sweep
	Incorrect tennis reporting	His Wimbledon scoreline for Murray v Raonic was completely inaccurate
			£1.75
Russ	Average protection
	Fielding with his feet	Lazy fucker
	Comedy fielding of highest order	20 yard slide to for ball
	Being cheap	£10 haircut
	Impersonating an OAP	Dementia
	Showering with Nick
			£1.50
Spam	Not paying attention	During fines
	Going down in stages	OAP like fielding
	Impersonating Casper	Crap fielding – ball went through him like a knife through butter
	Running out of 1’s…	…whilst updating the scoreboard
	Grandfather avoidance	Hardly giving a toss about wife Vicki’s grandson being pushed around the boundary
	Dissing family	See above
	Showering with Nick
	Conforming to stereotype	Excessive spam on the Friday
	Smug
			£2.25
Reevsie	Clockwatching
	Opening bowler no wicket		50p
	Tea fascist	Shortage of flapjacks “I’ll do what I want”
	Not stepping up to the plate	See above
	Fake Pringles	See above
	Free range egg avoidance	See above
	Halal meat avoidance	See above
	Tumbling down the batting order…	…in recent times
	Smug
			£2.50
Nick H	Denial	Dropping the ball
	Ball avoidance	At slip
	Getting out trying to play a scoring shot
	Batting position…	…inappropriate
	Showering with himself
	Being his own brother	Listed in scorebook as Steve Hebbes
	Talking bollocks at fines	“Bring it on – what else you got?”
	Reverting to type	Turning in huge circles in the field
			£2.00
Moo	Advocating small children…	…sounding car horns (down the road)
	Extravagant drive
	Average protection
	Wasting equipment	Helmet on field but not used
	Stump abuse	Demolishing stumps with run out / stumping attempts
	Polishing his helmet
	Mini Moo avoidance	No kids in attendance
			£1.75
Darley	Opening bowler no wicket		50p
	Self entrapment (drop)
	Drop		50p
	Failure at ball avoidance	Getting whacked fielding close in
	Sulking	Failure to bat (again)
	Self importance	Scored 41 for the OU Offices apparently (probably against children)
	Posh	Green tipped eco-cig
	Eating a roast dinner with cutlery	Not the done thing at the White House as popularised by Paddy Mellor (eating it using fingers only)
			£2.50
Thorn	Failure to on the pitch at the correct time	Wandering off
	Excessive rolling up duration	10 overs to roll a cigarette
	Wearing a helmet…	…at long leg (to keep the rain off him)
	Eating sandwich…	…at long leg
	Talking through fines
	Polish boot avoidance	Wearing regular cricket shoes
	Padding-up avoidance
	Tool belt avoidance	For a chippie
	Tape measure avoidance	For a chippie
			£2.25
Pearson	Pub avoidance (pre game)
	Turning up in kit
	Going home in kit
	Parental avoidance
	Batting out of character	Scoring some runs and avoiding a golden duck
	Comedy fielding
	Reverting to type	Overtly smug during the match
	Arguing with Fines Committee
			£2.00
		TOTAL	£23.00

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership < 25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber (anything) – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute* (* - Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00*
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2