“Me and Geoff”
Match: 16
/ 387
Won
by 6 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
Bodleian |
98 - 9 |
|
M. Reeves 2 - 8, T. Smith
2 - 10 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
99 - 4 |
|
D. Shorten 27, R. Hadfield
26 |
|
|
Me and Geoff were
dropped for this game, surplus to requirements was what we were told. Fair
enough, I guess you gotta rest your big guns at some point. Besides, me and
Geoff had already batted for most the day in beating the Isis at the weekend.
Geoff was great, never looked like getting out, and I just put the icing on
the cake, rubbing their faces in it. Batted for ourselves we did and fucking
loved it. Being dropped is okay,
especially when you get to watch the game with a cheap beer in your hand. Me
and Geoff like a beer, and why not when it’s just Ł2.50 a pint? You gotta
love social clubs and stuff, none of this fancy foreign shit in town at
double the price – fuck all that. Cheap beer that’s what we want, plain and
simples. It doesn’t even matter if it tastes like Geoff’s socks, just get it
down you.
My mate Geoff on the left – getting tucked in.
Smithers in the background having a toke. When you get dropped,
like me and Geoff were, aside from cheap beer being on tap, you want a decent
little ground to drink it at. Cumnor fits the bill nicely. Lovely little
place this is. Untainted by all this European shit. Just a nice proper
English village with its own post office and a decent pub. Somewhere you get
to get to see the same faces every day. Say hello and have a good fucking
moan. Me and Geoff could live here. I know my missus would, but Geoff can’t
seem to sell his house. His place has been on the market for fucking years.
350 he wants for it – King’s fucking ransom in my opinion, but then again,
he’s happy staying put because there’s a cheap pub up the road. Ł3.25 for a
local beer he said. Gets my vote. Unlike these fucking Remain people. Remain?
Remain in Europe? Being dictated to by some twat in Brussels? Nonsense. Total
nonsense. Let’s get out and have done. Hopefully the price of beer will come
down then. And cheap holidays to Spain and stuff.
Shorten’s bloody dog on the loose again. We just looked at the
scorebook after getting another beer in. Shorten lost the toss, so the Bods
are having a bat. They’ve got some decent batters these days, which is good,
because they used to be shit with this big Asian chappy scoring all their
runs. Dunno what their bowling is like. My mate Stuey Ackland is okay, but he
isn’t here apparently. He’s swanned off on holiday somewhere, getting himself
some sun and cheap beer no doubt. Me and Geoff have barely
done a lap of the field and the Bods are 45-5. Bloody hell, I hope someone
gets after it, fucking game will be done and dusted
before we’ve even got pissed. Talking of which, our mate Pearson got proper
twatted up here last year. He got dropped and all. So he got stuck right into
the cheap beer. Ł2.50 a pint you know? Fucking spot on. But that’s the
trouble with the military, they think they can drink but they can’t. James
had to be stretchered home if our memory serves us right. He was off work for
a week.
My mate Reevsie giving it a bowl. Leftie he is.
All weird and stuff. Looks like Shorten is
rotating his bowlers. Good move. Gives everyone a go, dunnit. Especially with
the Bods up shit creek without a paddle. Hill (2-0-18-1) is funny. I like
watching him. He plays baseball you see, so this game is fucking alien to
him. But that’s what makes it fun. He hasn’t got a clue what he’s doing, so
pity the bloody batsman. Webster (3-0-13-1) cracks me up too. He’s got this
weird run in where you don’t know what he’s doing either. Fast medium?
Leggies? Chinamen? Christ knows. That’s the bloody
Dutch for you – mad they are, all mad. But they like a beer they do. Nothing
wrong with that. I like the Dutch. Hopefully they’ll vote out soon, come and
make proper beer with us. Me and Geoff just got
back to the clubhouse, and the Bods got up to 98 in the end. Not a bad
effort. Shackers got 34* – he’s pretty good with
the bat. Not as good as me and Geoff, but pretty good. Time for a beer then. Gotta
be Geoff’s round, his countrified house is worth double what my pokey 2-bed
is worth in bloody Cowley.
Our mate Hilly having a bowl. Love it we do. We could do another lap
of the field, but then what’s the point? We’re walking away from the
clubhouse and walking away from the beer, and besides, the sun has just
started sinking below some big fucking trees. Who planted them then? Genius
move that was. Let’s plant these huge trees in line right there – just where
the sun goes down. Totally obscuring a proper good sunset. You do wonder
about some people don’t you? Looks like Shorten’s opening
up with his mate Hadfield (27). How very lovely. Drop your best players then
have a bat with your best mate. Fucking rich that is. Geoff’s well livid. And
another thing – this T20 lark, is it really proper cricket? Is it fuck. Geoff batted all day at the weekend. He played
proper cricket, none of this rubbish. 70 odd balls he faced. He ground the
fuck out the bowlers, and then I came in and slapped it around a bit. But
then again, me and Geoff are there for the big games. None of this rubbish.
Shorten with hat having a bat with his mate Hadders. Keep it in the family and all that. Shorten’s out, showing
off by trying to smack one into Eynsham. Still, 27 with the bat, mustn’t grumble, top his average up and all that. He
probably just wants a cheap beer or somet. Ł2.50 a pint you know. Top value
that. Geoff just shouted into
the bar – looks like we’ve lost two more. Hadfield (27) got bowled and
Hoskins (7) got caught. 67-3. We can still make a fucking mess of this, run
rate has dropped n’ all. If Geoff were out there, there wouldn’t be this
bloody panic setting in. No way. He’d just drop anchor, let the sloggers have
a whack about him. Then I’d come in and finish it off. But that’s what you
get when drop your best players.
Our mate Hoskers giving it some with his stupid
bat thing. Dunno why everyone was
getting so excitable. Timms (24*) is giving it the long handle out there, so
it can’t be doing that much. He’s come on has our Timms. He used to be shit
with the bat, bagged himself a duck each week, well funny it was, but he can
bat these days. He scored a bag of runs on Tour last year he did. Saying
that, he was pissed most the time, probably because the beer was cheap down
by the Solent. Like it should be. Proper English towns down there selling
proper cheap beer. That’s it. All over.
We’ve won by 6 wickets after dropping our best players. Good stuff. Right, back
to the job at hand then, me and Geoff getting stuck in. Showing everyone how
it’s done. Shame Pearson isn’t here, he could learn somet. It’s gotta be
Geoff’s round n’all, he gets paid double what I do. ‘Me’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Bodleian Played at Park Field, Cumnor, 3 June
2016 Bodleian won the toss and elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 6 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
16 / 387 20 over match |
|
Team |
Bodleian |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
M. D. J. Neely *† |
b Ainsworth |
1 |
|
- |
- |
1-9 |
|
2 |
D. Shackleton |
not out |
34 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
|
3 |
J. A. Shaw |
b Reeves |
9 |
|
- |
- |
2-33 |
|
4 |
L. J. McKiernan † |
c Hadfield b Reeves |
4 |
|
- |
- |
3-39 |
|
5 |
I. Wilson |
c Reeves b Timms |
1 |
|
- |
- |
4-44 |
|
6 |
A. F. Milner |
c Reeves b Webster |
1 |
|
- |
- |
5-45 |
|
7 |
M. N. Webb |
b Smith |
21 |
|
3 |
- |
6-90 |
|
8 |
D. Wright |
c Hadfield b Hill |
0 |
|
- |
- |
7-92 |
|
9 |
T. Philipson |
b Smith |
8 |
|
- |
1 |
9-93 |
|
10 |
T. Dale |
b Shorten |
0 |
|
- |
- |
8-92 |
|
11 |
A. R. Paton |
not out |
3 |
|
- |
- |
- |
|
|
Extras |
NB2, W6, LB3, B5 |
16 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 9 wickets, 20 overs) |
98 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Ainsworth |
3 |
0 |
7 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Roberts |
2 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Hoskins |
2 |
0 |
9 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Reeves |
3 |
0 |
8 |
2 |
|
|
5 |
Timms |
2 |
0 |
8 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Hill |
2 |
0 |
18 |
1 |
|
|
7 |
Webster |
3 |
0 |
13 |
1 |
|
|
8 |
Smith |
2 |
0 |
10 |
2 |
|
|
9 |
Shorten |
1 |
0 |
2 |
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
R. J. B. Hadfield |
b Dale |
26 |
(40) |
2 |
- |
2-65 |
|
2 |
D. Shorten * |
c Shaw b Dale |
27 |
(24) |
3 |
- |
1-47 |
|
3 |
J. D. Hoskins |
c Shaw b Neely |
7 |
(14) |
- |
- |
3-67 |
|
4 |
G. J. Timms |
not out |
24 |
(23) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
5 |
M. Bullock † |
c Wright b Shackleton |
4 |
(11) |
- |
- |
4-93 |
|
6 |
M. K. Reeves |
not out |
1 |
(2) |
- |
- |
- |
|
7 |
N. S. Hill |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J. vdG. Webster |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
T. P. W. Smith |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
C. D. Roberts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
L. G. Ainsworth |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
W5, LB2, B3 |
10 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 19 overs) |
99 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
McKiernon |
4 |
0 |
15 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Shaw |
4 |
0 |
28 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Dale |
4 |
0 |
16 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Shackleton |
4 |
0 |
21 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Neely |
3 |
0 |
14 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: R. J. B. Hadfield Champagne Moment: M. K. Reeves’ low catch Buffet
Award: N. S. Hill’s delightful New
York cheesecake (with extra cream) |
Opposition:
V023 / 21 Ground: G069 / 03 Captain: C016 / 16 |