“Festival of Cricket & Gluttony”
Match: 16
/ 383
Won
by 7 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
Blewbury &
Upton CC |
129 - 9 |
|
I. Howarth
2 - 5, C. Roberts 2 - 6 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
130 - 3 |
|
J. Pearson
41*, R. Turner 24 |
|
|
It was a cloudy day in Blewbury and Springfield and Homer got ready to clock off
from work at the nearby Nuclear Power Plant. It had been a tough
few months, especially with half of the plant collapsing on some of
some of the employees. Morale was at an all-time low and with the rapid
expansion of housing in the area ruining a once wonderful greenbelt,
something needed to be done.
The open bar…. Understanding a need to
lift communal spirits, Charles ‘Nigel’ Montgomery Burns had helped fund and
organise a Festival of Cricket & Gluttony just down the road. With a funfair
and open bar, here he hoped the people of Blewbury
and Springfield would come together as one for a memorably wonderful evening. At 742 Evergreen Terrace,
Homer Turner was in deep discussion about getting Bart to come and join him
at the cricket. “C’mon, this'll be great
fun. Ho ho.” “No
it won’t. It’ll be rubbish, dad. It’s
not even going to be proper cricket rules. I mean, no LBWs, no extra balls
for wides, no extra balls for no balls, 2 runs for this, 2 runs for that... I
mean what is the point?
It sounds like the whole thing is more obsessed with buffet than anything
else….” “You’re kinda missing
the point here, Bart – it’s a game, son. It’ll be
fun! It’ll be great exercise too – even when you’re
eating! Doh, you kids of
today....” Kissing Madge goodbye and
boxing up some lummy home baking, Homer left for the festival on his lonesome.
The bar was already open
on arrival at the ground and sure enough the townsfolk of Blewbury and
Springfield were already on the juice. On spotting Homer, Comic Book Guy came
running up with his laptop “I’m so excited, Mr
Turner – I get to score every delivery
on this cool laptop. Every delivery! Some weird rules though... combining an
extensive menu with actually playing this stupid
sport itself. I must admit, I can’t find these regulations anywhere in this
Wisden-type app I have….” Under the moniker of the
‘Far from the MCC’, Homer soon found himself in the field, helping to set up a
stall behind the bowler’s arm. As he did so, he surveyed all the goodies on display;
it sure looked like a gobblesome spread with expertly crafted dishes at the
mercy of the opposition.
Far
from the MCC – Official Springfield Cricket Menu * Hors d’oeuvres *
Asparagus & halloumi salad,
vol-au-vents and light cheeses (C. Roberts 2-0-6-2) *
Crab cakes with whitebait & dill mayonnaise (I.
Howarth 2-0-5-2) Main course Choice of – * Cheese & pesto whirls, garlic dip and sides (N. Hill 2-0-8-0) * Smoked fish & potato latkes sharing platter (G.
Carter 2-0-14-0) * Tesco thick crust meat feast pizza, dough
ball sides (R.
Turner 2-0-21-1) * Vegetable paella, garlic sides, humus dip (T. Smith 2-0-16-1)
V Dessert * Danish pastries, jam tarts, chocolate éclairs (M.
Reeves 2-0-16-0) V * Double chocolate cheesecake, assorted biscuits (J.
Pearson 2-0-15-1) V * Caramel banana puff pastries and ice cream (D.
Shorten 2-0-9-1) V Additional dishes * Sausage rolls, quarter pork pie slices (G.
Timms 2-0-19-1) V –
denotes a vegetarian option The
home team certainly tucked in with T. Wigley 41* and C. Allen 29 laying waste
to Homer’s mega-topped pizza in particular. Processing
the eating and hitting through the convoluted algorithms on his Mac, Comic
Book Guy made announcement that the resultant home side’s score was 129-9. “Geez,”
said Homer “I’m about starving – I can’t wait to feast. GIVE ME FOOD!!!” The
Blewbury and Springfield team served up a distinctly more refined yet less
extensive buffet, but nonetheless it disappeared in double quick fashion with
Homer (24) and Corporal Pear’s son (41*) demonstrating a gluttony to rank
with the most ravenous. Blewbury
and Springfield CC – Official Springfield Cricket Menu * Hors d’oeuvres *
Squash & barley salad with
balsamic vinaigrette
(E. Wagner 2-0-8-0) V *
Smoky aubergine & coriander dip (B.
Silverstone 2-0-23-0) V Main course Choice of – * Prawn & chorizo skewers with gremolata (A.
Musson 2-0-23-1) * Sole goujons with mango & lime dip (B. Strange
2-0-14-0) * Tesco thick crust roasted spring vegetable pizza (T. Wigley 2-0-13-0)
V * Artichoke & broad bean tart with
watercress pesto (J.
Hillier 2-0-27-1) V * Duck & pork terrine with cranberries
& pistachios (C.
Allen 2-0-9-0) Dessert * Cherry chocolate Pavlova, summer fruit extras (K. Brown 1.1-0-9-1) V V –
denotes a vegetarian option With
Comic Book Guy beckoning Charles ‘Nigel’ Montgomery Burns over to his table,
they declared the contest over with The MAD victorious on 130-3 in three
quarters of the time. “We
showed up, Mr Pear – we showed ‘em! That’s how to
EAT!!!” bellowed Homer, as he wiped the gremolata from his face. With
the festival heralded as a roaring success, it is expected another such event
will be staged at nearby Springfield Brasenose later in the year. ‘Bart’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Blewbury
& Upton CC Played at Blewbury, 17 May 2016 Blewbury & Upton CC
won the toss and elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 7 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
16 / 383 20 over match |
|
Team |
Blewbury & Upton CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
R. Thwaites |
c Timms b Roberts |
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
G. Brooks † |
b Howarth |
3 |
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
J. Kenney |
c Hill b Howarth |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
4 |
E. Wagner |
b Roberts |
3 |
|
|
|
|
|
5 |
C. Allen |
c Smith b Timms |
29 |
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
A. Musson |
c and b Turner |
16 |
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
B. Strange |
b Smith |
8 |
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
T. Wigley |
not out |
41 |
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
B. Silverthorne |
b Pearson |
5 |
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
J. Hillier |
c Turner b Shorten |
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
K. Brown * |
not out |
4 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
W5, LB3 |
8 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 9 wickets, 20 overs) |
129 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Roberts |
2 |
0 |
6 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
Howarth |
2 |
0 |
5 |
2 |
|
|
3 |
Hill |
2 |
0 |
8 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Carter |
2 |
0 |
14 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Turner |
2 |
0 |
21 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Smith |
2 |
0 |
16 |
1 |
|
|
7 |
Reeves |
2 |
0 |
16 |
0 |
|
|
8 |
Pearson |
2 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
|
|
9 |
Shorten |
2 |
0 |
9 |
1 |
|
|
10 |
Timms |
2 |
0 |
19 |
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
R. P. Turner |
c Wagner b Hillier |
24 |
(32) |
4 |
- |
2-82 |
|
2 |
N. S. Hill |
c Strange b Musson |
19 |
(16) |
3 |
- |
1-31 |
|
3 |
J. W. Pearson |
retired |
41 |
(21) |
6 |
1 |
- |
|
4 |
T. P. W. Smith |
c Brooks b Brown |
13 |
(9) |
2 |
- |
3-119 |
|
5 |
G. J. Timms |
not out |
11 |
(12) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
6 |
J. C. W. Hotson † |
not out |
2 |
(3) |
- |
- |
- |
|
7 |
G. Carter |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
I. Howarth |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
D. Shorten * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
C. D. Roberts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
M. K. Reeves |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB4, W12, B4 |
20 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 3 wickets, 15.1 overs) |
130 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: J. W. Pearson retired at 108-2 (12.0 ovs) |
|||||||
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Wagner |
2 |
0 |
8 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Silverthorne |
2 |
0 |
23 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Musson |
2 |
0 |
23 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Strange |
2 |
0 |
14 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Wigley |
2 |
0 |
13 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Hillier |
2 |
0 |
27 |
1 |
|
|
7 |
Allen |
2 |
0 |
9 |
0 |
|
|
8 |
Brown |
1.1 |
0 |
9 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: J. W. Pearson Champagne Moment: T. P. W. Smith’s catch
on the boundary Buffet
Award: R. P. Turner’s thick crust
meat feast pizza & dough ball sides |
Opposition:
V074 / 06 Ground: G063 / 03 Captain: C016 / 14 |