“Carter Stars in Unexpected Non-Hammering”
Match: 17
/ 408
Won
by 7 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
Horspath Club XI |
197 - 6 |
|
D. Barlow 2 - 26 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
199 - 3 |
|
I. Howarth 73, L. Ainsworth 72* |
|
|
Most people will remember
their debuts for this club, and I remember mine at the soulless environs of
Cowley Marshes, where I got few runs before Steve Dobner triggered me in the
rain. To be fair to him, I was already walking, plumb LBW b Batman. I imagine
Dave Barlow will remember his debut too, not that his innings was ended by a
superhero, but that it came against a bona fide superteam.
Barlow (back row) with maroon cap. This was the sixth match
to be hosted by Horspath CC and the first since 2014, after previous inauspicious
results forced a committee rethink on the fixture. For a quick reference of
case points discussed that evening, please see below: Item 1 – rather dispiriting results: a.
2010 complete pasting but Dan Edwards bats all day in facing one
thousand deliveries (lost by 126 runs). b.
2011 total annihilation but until the ninth over The MAD run-rate worm
was ahead of Horspath (lost by 200 runs). c.
2012 agonizing crucifixion after Captain Westmoreland has the temerity
to bat first (lost by 9 wkts). d.
2013 comprehensive demolition after humiliating seismic collapse (lost
by 151 runs). e.
2014 resounding thumping but Dave Emerson clubs a few at the end (lost
by 133 runs). Item 2 – batsmen not happy starting the season with a duck. Item 3 – bowlers not happy starting the season with an
economy in double figures. Item 4 – team not happy being labelled masochists (aka the
Bodleian). Item 5 – team not happy. Time is a great healer
as we know, although as most of the team enter their dotage, time can also hasten
dementia, so after disappointing early season trips to other disappointing
grounds a return to Horspath was back on the agenda. Besides, it’s a lovely
ground with a very welcoming group of players and secretary, and most
important of all, it has an open bar charging only Ł2.75 a pint. For the unpicked available members of the
club, that last point is pivotal.
Carter (facing) demonstrating admirable blindness
with the bat. In the games’
beginnings, history looked like repeating itself as bowlers Newman-Robson and
‘Bob’ Roberts went wicketless in recording the identical figures of 5-0-18-0.
The comparisons stopped there however, because whilst Bob hit his line and
found prodigious bounce, Newman threw down a pile of shite that Horspath’s
left-right combo could hardly reach. In fairness to Jon, his acerbic
mutterings for the most the innings at mid-on more than made up for his
malfunctioning compass. It was the lefties who
would make the inroads, Ainsworth (4-0-14-1) who actually bowls right-handed for
some stupid reason had Hamilton LBW for 24, whilst Reeves (5-0-41-1) found a
leg stump yorker amongst a pile of dross to reduce Horspath to 61-2. Messrs
Howarth (4-0-16-1) and Timms (4-0-6-1) were surprisingly economical in
picking up another couple, whilst Barlow (3-0-26-2) and Emerson (3-0-24-0)
were not. Dave B looked crap, but found Carter awake in the field for once
(Moon caught 40), whilst Dave E looked rhythmic, but found his namesake not
quite so awake in the field (drop). In fairness to Dave B, he at least put a
name on the stratospheric steepler, but as to whether it was Dave or Dave’s
was open to interpretation, seeing they were both stood underneath it. Some
slow rubbish at the death from R. P. Turner (2-0-21-0) ensured that Ainsworth
got to showcase his Masters Degree in moaning and HCC almost got to 200. Everyone
likes a good fucking moan and it’s heartening that
the cricket season is now back in full swing.
Turner (batting) giving himself a hernia. Tea allowed Timms and
Ainsworth to hug it out, whilst Howarth was left to go hungry as he copied
the Horspath innings on the wrong page of the scorebook. Club Patron Tony
Mander popped by and was joined by Thornton Smith in delighting they could watch
the game play out on CCTV whilst remaining in the bar. As with the Wootton
& Bladon run chase in Woodstock last year, it was Carter (4) again building
the solid foundations for The MAD reply, occupying the crease until well into
the second over and taking all the pressure off his partner. Turner looked in
prime form against the speed of A. Rehman, unfurling several cover drives
that suggested he was both in the mood and
looking to pass 20 for the first time since The Simpsons aired. He didn’t
naturally, falling to the cunning guile of veteran C. Ricks (6-2-24-1) whilst
looking as confused as everybody else. It would seem Howarth
has found a perfect dancing partner in Mr Ainsworth. Lee assuaging that becalming
pedigree at the wicket, whilst chastising Ian whenever he plays a dumb shot.
He played a couple of dumb shots here, got his detention and then showed the
maturity that carried him to the end of last season.
Barlow glides one to leg having avoided a duck on
debut. Things tilted very much
in The MAD’s favour in twenty fifth over, an over that went for 19 runs
included five angry wides from Anwar (7-0-51-0) after Howarth had brought his
fifty up with a tonk over cow corner. With runs now flowing at either end,
Horspath fielding grew ragged as Ainsworth picked out the gaps for his own celebration. An injudicious hoik by Spam
(73) off J. Swaine (7.5-0-37-2) ended a splendid partnership of 137, so just
the notional 13 runs off 3 overs for that unthinkable MAD win. Unthinkable,
as this club is revered in fucking the unfuckable, having honed their superlative
self-destructive talents over two debilitating decades. So maybe this was the
perfect scenario with which to send Dave Barlow out to bat at number five, a
man with little or no prior knowledge of debacles of yore? Cricketing folklore
decries that Dave Barlow notched seventeen ducks in his first season for
Astons CC, though his MAD history reads very different. Here he stroked the
winning runs (13*) before striding back to the warm embrace of his teammates,
job well done. Lee remained unbeaten on 72 not out, exhausted by his moaning.
One swallow does not a
summer make, but a record MAD run chase against an opponent we’d never
beaten, we’ll take that. So that’s a tick against Milton and Horspath away, just
the Lemmings remain as a country unconquered. The portents are good. ‘C. C. TV’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Horspath
Club XI Played at Horspath CC, 16 April 2017 Far from the MCC won the
toss and elected to field Far from the MCC won by 7 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
17 / 408 35 over match |
|
Team |
Horspath Club XI |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
D. Watts |
b Reeves |
13 |
|
2 |
- |
2-61 |
|
2 |
G. Hamilton |
lbw b Ainsworth |
24 |
|
4 |
- |
1-52 |
|
3 |
H. Moon |
c Carter b Barlow |
40 |
|
6 |
- |
6-142 |
|
4 |
A. Rehman |
b Howarth |
23 |
|
5 |
- |
3-110 |
|
5 |
C. Thompson † |
lbw b Timms |
4 |
|
- |
- |
4-124 |
|
6 |
C. Ricks |
b Barlow |
10 |
|
2 |
- |
5-137 |
|
7 |
A. Sarwar |
not out |
36 |
|
5 |
1 |
- |
|
8 |
G. Horsley |
not out |
21 |
|
4 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
E. Ward |
|
13 |
|
2 |
- |
2-61 |
|
10 |
J. Swaine |
|
24 |
|
4 |
- |
1-52 |
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB3, W11, LB5, B7 |
26 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 6 wickets, 35 overs) |
197 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Newman-Robson |
5 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
3.60 |
|
|
2 |
Roberts |
5 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
3.60 |
|
|
3 |
Ainsworth |
4 |
0 |
14 |
1 |
3.50 |
|
|
4 |
Reeves |
5 |
0 |
41 |
1 |
8.20 |
|
|
5 |
Howarth |
4 |
0 |
16 |
1 |
4.00 |
|
|
6 |
Timms |
4 |
0 |
6 |
1 |
1.50 |
|
|
7 |
Barlow |
3 |
0 |
26 |
2 |
8.67 |
|
|
8 |
Emerson |
3 |
0 |
24 |
0 |
8.00 |
|
|
9 |
Turner |
2 |
0 |
21 |
0 |
10.50 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
G. Carter |
c Ward b Swaine |
4 |
(7) |
1 |
- |
1-7 |
|
2 |
L. G. Ainsworth |
not out |
72 |
(89) |
10 |
- |
- |
|
3 |
R. P. Turner |
b Ricks |
20 |
(33) |
3 |
- |
2-48 |
|
4 |
I. Howarth |
b Swaine |
73 |
(65) |
9 |
2 |
3-185 |
|
5 |
D. Barlow |
not out |
13 |
(12) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
6 |
D. Emerson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
M. K. Reeves |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
G. J. Timms * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
J. C. W. Hotson † |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
J. Newman-Robson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
C. D. Roberts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB4, W8, LB4, B1 |
17 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 3 wickets, 33.5 overs) |
199 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Rehman |
7 |
0 |
39 |
0 |
5.57 |
|
|
2 |
Swaine |
7.5 |
0 |
37 |
2 |
4.72 |
|
|
3 |
Ricks |
6 |
2 |
24 |
1 |
4.00 |
|
|
4 |
Sarwar |
7 |
0 |
51 |
0 |
7.29 |
|
|
5 |
Ward |
3 |
0 |
31 |
0 |
10.33 |
|
|
6 |
Moon |
3 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
3.67 |
|
|
MOTM: I. Howarth Champagne Moment: I. Howarth’s huge six
to bring up his fifty Buffet
Award: R. P. Turner’s ham and pickle
wholemeal baguettes MAD
Moment: L. G. Ainsworth’s Dilscoop
off a Ward beamer |
Opposition:
V057 / 06 Ground: G046 / 06 Captain: C022 / 54 Match No: 35 / 146 |