“Team B for a Reason”
Match: 17
/ 409
Lost
by 51 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Wootton & Boars
Hill CC |
236 - 8 |
|
A. Darley 4 - 20, J. Pearson
2 - 44 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
185 |
|
G. Timms 45, R. Hadfield
28 |
|
|
In a bid to quell any
haughty complacency following the historic victory over Horspath CC the weekend
before, Skipper Timms wielded the axe with no less than eight new faces in
the team. Out went everybody, save for Ainsworth, Howarth and himself, and in
came a soldier, a pair of auctioneering freeloaders, a guy who doesn’t exist,
a psychopath, The Club’s wardrobe, an architect cum pisshead and a guy who
can’t seem to ever extricate himself from the University Fucking Offices.
Meet Team B. Unseasonably dry weather
had forced the cancellation of most players’ alternative drinking pursuits,
and thus it was that the respective teams of the Far from the MCC, Appleton
CC, Wootton & Boars Hill CC and the Oxford University Offices embarked on
their first combined joust since May 2015. Whilst most of the surrounds
appeared reasonably familiar, the background had changed slightly in the
aftermath of four experts bringing Didcot’s boiler house down on themselves. Not wanting to waste his
or anyone else’s valuable time, Timms reneged on walking out to the middle
and instead called incorrectly on the boundary edge. Wootton & Appleton
CC immediately clambered into their contrasting batting attire and set about chewing
up The MAD bowling.
St George (hat) admires Matt’s scoring
techniques. Exasperating.
Capricious. Arbitrary. Infelicitous. Bohemian. Congenial. Introspective. All
words that would happily bulk out a descriptive critique of the preposterous Andrew
Darley. Each and every year his is
the name most discussed prior to his teammates picking their fantasy teams.
Will he, won’t he, how is he, what’s the point, he’s due, he’s fucked,
bargain, waste of money, where’s his head at, he looked good at nets, he only
turns up to fucking nets, will you won’t you… etc. Andy has absolutely no
idea what each day will bring, lesser a game of cricket, and he would’ve had
no idea he would record career best bowling figures for The MAD with 8-3-20-4
(more on him later). With Shorten bowling with haste (5-0-13-1) and Ainsworth
bowling down leg (5-2-14-0), by the halfway marker Wootton had crumbled to
61-6. All those that bowled at
the W&A top order are probably laughing today (see above). Those that
bowled at batsmen seven, eight and nine are probably not. A call to a local
farmer hastened the removal of horses from nearby paddocks, before the improperly
titled W&A “lower order” fired
their artillery. In a gruelling pounding on an Aleppo scale, Hoskins
(7-0-53-1), Rundle (5-0-33-0), Pearson (4-0-44-2), Timms (5-0-31-0) and an
over of shite from Howarth (1-0-10-0) went for a combined 171 runs off 22
overs. One over in particular from Corporal Pearson lasted well over the hour
mark as the ball was retrieved firstly from Abingdon and then from Cumnor. W&A’s
chief bludgeoner would be Mr Glover, whose cerebral effort of 87 not out was
roughly a hundred less than he’d biffed the previous day. Having arrived sometime
after that halfway point, axed supporters Turner and Carter couldn’t contain
their delight. They even shifted vantage point to better appreciate their
teammates navigating through horse dung and electrified fences to fetch the
ball. I’m sure they also enjoyed the teas as well, rather than undertake the
menial task of copying the scorebook, the rewards of which were a few broken
crisps on a wet plate and half a discarded baguette.
W&A skipper Collins looks to knock Dave
Shorten’s (batting) head off. With a notional 236 to
hunt down, none of The MAD top order looked in the groove. Pearson (11) and
Shorten (16) twatted a few first up, whilst Hadfield (28) twatted most of his
at fielders. Following their herculean efforts the previous Sunday, Howarth
(15) and Ainsworth (27) simply looked like twats. Westmoreland’s previous
knock was last year’s stratospheric high of 87, unfortunately it proved a
precursor to a season ending leg amputation. Much wasn’t expected of him here
and he delivered in spades with a mercurial single before being bowled.
Martin’s foray was decidedly crap, but at least he didn’t drag it out like
Rundle (1) did, playing and missing that many times you assumed he was fucking
blind.
Timms embarrassing the top order by scoring runs
on a whim. A final MAD reply of 185
was indebted to the unencumbered swishing of Timms (45) and Bullock (25*),
whose fifteen boundaries from just 49 balls was as entertaining as it was emancipating.
A shame Gary fell shy of a maiden fifty, but he’ll no doubt take the second
best batting average in the club. His downfall ushered Mr Darley to the
wicket, who after chuntering about his position through gritted teeth, would
subsequently nail down another legendary
MAD Moment, bowled for a golden by a guy who couldn’t bowl. Hoskins completed
the circus act by getting stumped for 3. For several days after
the previous Sunday, The MAD walked on water. Today they shipped water like
the Costa Concordia. Roll on next weekend, time for Team C. ‘AB de Player’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Wootton
& Boars Hill CC Played at Wootton & Boars Hill,
23 April 2017 Wootton & Boars Hill CC
won the toss and elected to field Wootton & Boars Hill CC won by 51 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
17 / 409 40 over match |
|
Team |
Wootton & Boars Hill CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
K. Howkins † |
c Rundle b Darley |
15 |
|
3 |
- |
1-30 |
|
2 |
A. Benson |
c Bullock b Darley |
11 |
|
2 |
- |
2-35 |
|
3 |
E. Bennett |
b Darley |
7 |
|
1 |
- |
3-44 |
|
4 |
N. Ali |
b Hoskins |
8 |
|
1 |
- |
5-49 |
|
5 |
N. Collins * |
c Bullock b Shorten |
0 |
|
- |
- |
4-45 |
|
6 |
M. Bungay |
c Hadfield b Darley |
2 |
|
- |
- |
6-60 |
|
7 |
M. Glover |
not out |
87 |
|
12 |
2 |
- |
|
8 |
M. Faulkner |
c Rundle b Pearson |
42 |
|
3 |
1 |
7-148 |
|
9 |
B. Webb |
c Westmoreland b Pearson |
36 |
|
3 |
2 |
8-206 |
|
10 |
M. Bhella |
|
4 |
|
- |
- |
- |
|
11 |
D. Parker |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB1, W5, LB4, B14 |
24 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 8 wickets, 40 overs) |
236 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Darley |
8 |
3 |
20 |
4 |
2.50 |
|
|
2 |
Ainsworth |
5 |
2 |
14 |
0 |
2.80 |
|
|
3 |
Shorten |
5 |
0 |
13 |
1 |
2.60 |
|
|
4 |
Hoskins |
7 |
0 |
53 |
1 |
7.57 |
|
|
5 |
Rundle |
5 |
0 |
33 |
0 |
6.60 |
|
|
6 |
Pearson |
4 |
0 |
44 |
2 |
11.00 |
|
|
7 |
Timms |
5 |
0 |
31 |
0 |
6.20 |
|
|
8 |
Howarth |
1 |
0 |
10 |
0 |
10.00 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. W. Pearson |
c and b Bungay |
11 |
(15) |
2 |
- |
1-29 |
|
2 |
D. Shorten |
lbw b Bungay |
16 |
(15) |
2 |
1 |
2-36 |
|
3 |
R. J. B. Hadfield |
b Bennett |
28 |
(66) |
4 |
- |
4-89 |
|
4 |
I. Howarth |
c Howkins b Webb |
15 |
(22) |
2 |
- |
3-70 |
|
5 |
L. G. Ainsworth |
c Collins b Faulkner |
27 |
(35) |
3 |
- |
6-121 |
|
6 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
b Parker |
1 |
(5) |
- |
- |
5-98 |
|
7 |
G. J. Timms * |
c Benson b Faulkner |
45 |
(35) |
9 |
- |
8-155 |
|
8 |
M. S. Rundle |
b Faulkner |
1 |
(14) |
- |
- |
7-146 |
|
9 |
M. Bullock † |
not out |
25 |
(14) |
6 |
- |
- |
|
10 |
A. Darley |
b Bhella |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
9-159 |
|
11 |
J. D. Hoskins |
st Howkins b Bhella |
3 |
(6) |
- |
- |
10-185 |
|
|
Extras |
NB1, W4, LB1, B7 |
13 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 37.5 overs) |
185 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Bungay |
6 |
2 |
14 |
2 |
2.33 |
|
|
2 |
Collins |
6 |
0 |
37 |
0 |
6.17 |
|
|
3 |
Parker |
8 |
1 |
31 |
1 |
3.88 |
|
|
4 |
Webb |
6 |
1 |
9 |
1 |
1.50 |
|
|
5 |
Bennett |
5 |
0 |
36 |
1 |
7.20 |
|
|
6 |
Faulkner |
5 |
0 |
39 |
3 |
7.80 |
|
|
7 |
Bhella |
1.5 |
0 |
11 |
2 |
6.00 |
|
|
MOTM: A. Darley Champagne Moment: M. T. Westmoreland’s
catch at long on Buffet
Award: J. W. Pearson’s Ration-X Self
Heating Food Packs (Menu A) MAD
Moment: A. Darley’s pre-emptive
chunter before bagging a golden duck |
Opposition:
V039 / 16 Ground: G017 / 12 Captain: C022 / 55 Match No: 40 / 126 |