“The Infinite Probability Drive”

Match: 17 / 435

Won by 19 runs

Team	Total
FFTMCC	130 - 3
C. Williams 43, D. Shorten 37
Hendricks CC	111 - 8
J. Hoskins 2 - 25

This match report is inspired by the film The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, which was itself inspired by the TV series of the same name. Which was itself inspired by the book The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Which was itself based on the original radio series. So all in all milked for every cent it is worth. Written by Douglas Adams, the range and complexity of the comic ideas presented in all the various formats surpass almost anything committed to paper, celluloid, digital or audio tape.

THHGTTG has the words “don’t panic” written is large friendly letters on its back cover and includes the essential advice that you should always carry a towel, for a variety of reasons, one of which is to wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can't see you.) We’re also introduced to such characters as Marvin, the paranoid android. (standard quote “Life, said Marvin dolefully, loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it.”) There’s also the Babel fish, which will live in your ear, feed on any language then defecate it in to your brain in a language you can understand. It spawned the language translation website. So before I disappear into a haze of teenage nostalgia, we should perhaps link this fantastic radio play etc etc to the events of Friday night.

One of the central themes of THHGTTG is that <SPOILER ALERT> the earth was built by mice to answer the ultimate question of the life, the universe and everything. Many millennia before, the second most powerful computer ever developed (second only to the earth) had determined that the answer was 42. The earth was subsequently designed to provide the question. The FFTMCC of course also have history with the number 42, for it is the score at which Dan Edwards notoriously raised his bat to the assorted galleries in celebration of a rather premature half century. He was inevitably and hilariously applauded whenever he subsequently reached that score. This evening, for reasons which have been lost in the mists of time since the same fixture last year, it was decided that 42 should also be the score on which a batsman should retire.

Dave Shorten had very sensibly gathered the team at Brasenose for a 17:30 start, which was essential in the fast fading light. He bought the team in to a huddle to announce that sadly this would be his last game as captain this season, to which the team replied that it was also probably his first, given his recent record of attendance. Hendricks, with their captain T Saunders, are cut from similar cloth to us, with the emphasis on camaraderie and fair play. They’d decided they wanted to field whereas Dave had decided we wanted to bat, so a notional toss was conducted and we were batting.

Captain Dave had packed his top order with big hitters but even with MOTM C Williams (retired 43 off 43 balls) and Nick Hill (0) swiftly followed by P Mellor (9) we were struggling at just 12 off the first 5 overs. A few brief back stories here. First it’s great to see Paddy for his first game of the season, but also great to see Nick for whom this could be his last game for some time before he travels to sample a new life in Italy, presumably with a Babel fish in his ear.

Williams – a batsman who scores runs.

It was with the arrival of the skipper (37 off just 27) that a partnership with Pops started to hit its stride and the runs started to pile on. Dave was replaced by Reeves (20 n.o. off 19) who with the retirement of Pops was joined by Bob Roberts (7 n.o.) for a nice little cameo as a light drizzle started to descend. After 20 overs an ambitious 130 had been achieved.

In reply Hendricks were always behind the rate and the match started to swing our way early on. There’s been some debate in the MAD ranks about whether we’re too generous in the giving of LBW decisions, when few seem to be given for us, but here we were on the upside receiving end of a crucial one as skipper T Saunders was triggered, fair play. Shortly before Reeves had immediately redeemed himself after spilling a simple chance before affecting a run out with Roberts in the same ball.

Hoskins accepts the Alcoholics Anonymous award for Hendricks’ adjudged MOTM.

Howarth (4-0-15-0) complained of having to bowl in to the wind, whilst Roberts (2-0-12-0) struggled with a swelling and soggy ball, as did Vermaak (2-0-9-0). First change was Jamo (4-0-25-2) for whom it was another champagne performance in what has been a phenomenal season. As the light faded further and the run rate soared, there were wickets for Timms, Reeves and Shorten.

With Hendricks needing an improbable 26 off the final over, the ball was thrown to Hill for what could be his final action for the FFTMCC for some time. He responded by spearing his first delivery straight down the middle for a delightful wicket.

So The MAD had won only their second game since mid-June and only their third win batting first all season. It has echoes of another of Adam’s surreal inventions, the infinite improbably drive, where the reasoning goes roughly that one can travel almost instantly to any point in the universe if one can calculate precisely how unlikely it is that you’ll turn up there. So what’s the chances of us going on a winning run until the end of the season? Precisely the same as arriving on Alpha Centauri.

It was great that both teams congregated at the White House after the game. They’re off next to the Bodleian, another team that “gets it.” We wish them well.

‘Reevsie’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Hendricks XI Played at Brasenose College, 11 August 2017 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to field Far from the MCC won by 19 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none

17 / 440 20 over match

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	C. T. J. Williams	retired	43	(43)	4	1	-
2	N. S. Hill	b Robinson	0	(2)	-	-	1-0
3	P. A. S. Mellor	b Patel	9	(20)	1	-	2-29
4	D. Shorten *	b West	37	(27)	5	-	3-109
5	M. K. Reeves	not out	20	(19)	2	-	-
6	C. D. Roberts	not out	7	(10)	-	-	-
7	C. J. Vermaak
8	I. Howarth
9	G. J. Timms
10	J. D. Hoskins
11	J. C. W. Hotson †
	Extras	NB1, W8, LB3, B2	14
	TOTAL	(for 3 wickets, 20 overs)	130

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Gilbert	4	1	14	0	3.50
2	Robinson	4	0	15	1	3.75
3	May	4	0	30	0	7.50
4	Patel	2	0	21	1	10.50
5	Metcalf	2	0	24	0	12.00
6	Quest	3	0	18	1	6.00
7	Rollett	1	0	3	0	3.00
Note: C. T. J. Williams retired on 86-2 (13.3 overs)

Team	Hendricks XI
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	T. Saunders *†	lbw b Hoskins	10		-	-	3-25
2	S. Minchinton	run out (Roberts/Reeves)	3		-	-	1-13
3	Q. Khattak	b Hoskins	4		-	-	2-19
4	R. Quest	b Timms	18		4	-	4-62
5	E. Robinson	retired	42		4	-	-
6	O. May	c Timms b Reeves	4		-	-	5-90
7	J. Gilbert	c Williams b Shorten	0		-	-	6-92
8	R. Patel	not out	3		-	-	-
9	J. Hewlett	b Hill	3		-	-	7-105
10	J. Rollett	run out (Hill/Hotson)	3		-	-	8-108
11	T. Metcalf	not out	2		-	-	-
	Extras	NB3, W11, LB3, B2	19
	TOTAL	(for 8 wickets, 20 overs)	111

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Howarth	4	0	15	0	3.75
2	Roberts	2	0	12	0	6.00
3	Hoskins	4	0	25	2	6.25
4	Vermaak	2	0	9	0	4.50
5	Timms	3	0	24	1	8.00
6	Reeves	2	0	8	1	4.00
7	Shorten	2	0	7	1	3.50
8	Hill	1	0	6	1	6.00

MOTM: C. T. J. Williams Champagne Moment: J. D. Hoskins’ bowling Khattak Buffet Award: G. J. Timms’ large jacket spuds with lots of lush chilli bits MAD Moment: n/a

Opposition: V088 / 02 Ground: G040 / 62 Captain: C016 / 31 Match No: 20 / 110