Match: 17
/ 435
Match
Abandoned
Team |
Total |
Islip CC |
130 - 7 |
L. Ainsworth 3 -
17, G. Timms 2 - 21 |
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
|
After Friday evening’s
overly optimistic discussion and denouement that it was worth starting a game
of cricket when it was clearly not, Sunday’s match borrowed that
scintillating script and ran with it. In fairness, it was a tough one to
call, with most weather apps disagreeing over rain from 1630 onwards or heavy
rain from roughly 1645 onwards. Regardless, the considered opinion of The MAD
was to deconsider these meteorological scientists and their informative websites,
and go with a pint and a prayer. Following an overnight
deluge, Howarth answered a plea from the groundsman to come and check out the
strip. It was soggy at both ends where it had crept under the covers, but
with some early afternoon sunshine things would dry and out and everything
would be wonderful in the world, wouldn’t it? Of course, because it always
is, isn’t it? With the Whitehouse pub
finally deciding it wanted to open for business, presumably under the novel
imagining of taking some money, players arriving early for a game that had no
hope of finishing sat around a table reminiscing about tours past. A
stimulating pastime for all those with absolutely no recollection whatsoever,
who either weren’t there, weren’t even a part of the club, or are in the
initial throes of Alzheimer’s…. With Captain Timms
winning the toss, a sizeable but disparate Islip entourage would watch their
batsmen steadily accumulate but with no great haste. Newman (7-1-13-0) bowled
well with a hangover, his nominal pastel pink a darker shade of rouge,
complemented by the swing of the vertiginous Roberts* (7-2-18-1), who
certainly did enough to merit inclusion on Tour. They were backed up by the
evergreen Reeves (5-0-18-1) and the everbearded Timms (5-0-21-2), who on
another day would probably have done exactly the same as they did here. Catching on the whole
was woeful, with standout moments of ineptitude coming from Timms and a
disparaging Howarth. Whilst Gary’s blunders could maybe put down to… actually
nothing, they were completely shit,
Howarth seems oblivious to his ailing ability in the field, relying on the
catchphrase “I’ve got a good arm” to paper over the yawning chasm of “once
was”. With cloud cover now
becoming increasingly more prominent and temperatures tumbling pre-pissdown, Rundle (6-0-40-0) and Ainsworth (5-0-17-3)
would complete the overs to restrict the visitors to 130-7. Whilst Lee was largely
on the money, Psycho bowled to a man who could only hoik to mid wicket with a vacant mid wicket.
Howarth’s stellar weekend
was about to reach its nadir at this point, with rain now tumbling from the
heavens and erasing any memories of what has thus been a fairly decent
summer. Having done pretty much fuck all other than grass a sitter and get
sodden over the past few days, he commandeered Reeves to help shift the
scoring table to the sanctuary of the pavilion. He was especially thankful to
the Islip entourage, who felt obliged to watch on in a catatonic torpor and ensure
his holy bible (The MAD scorebook) was reduced to a squidgy mess. Tea was workmanlike as
you would expect from someone trying manfully to come under budget and pay
for his next trip out to Colorado. Respect where it’s due though, Mr Reeves
certainly takes full credit for all his missus’ endeavours. Tall Bob and Little Bob discuss water tables. With every app on the
planet now indicating rain was a 99-100% certainty until close of day, an
ensemble of weather ignorant cricketers now stood in the centre of the pitch
in animated discussion. They were soon joined by the groundsman who shook his
head disbelievingly as covers were removed just in time for the next monsoon
splashdown. Sanity eventually prevailed and for only the third time in MAD
history, a second consecutive match was abandoned to the elements. Chris
Williams and Russ Turner then removed their batting attire, perhaps wondering
why the fuck they’d bothered in the first place. Throughout the entire protracted
drama of do-we-or-don’t-we-gate,
Reeves sat impassively in the changing room with his back to the idiocy,
gazing into his iPhone as Howarth could be heard moaning audibly to anyone
who wouldn’t listen. So that’s about it, the
FFTMCC are woefully underprepared for Tour, being on perhaps the worst run of
form in living memory, albeit unbeaten in the last two. Lifts have been organised
(we think), hotel rooms booked (to someone’s knowledge) and wives and girlfriends
have been placated (to the best of my knowledge). There is absolutely,
positively, nothing that can go possibly
wrong in the coming week…. The FFTMCC 2017 Tour squad in full: Ainsworth,
L G (btsm, bwl, moaner) Bullock,
M (btsm, wckt,
pub guide) Carter, G (btsm, wckt, schitzophrenic) Darley,
A (btsm, bwl,
deluded) Hoskins,
J D (bwl, bookie) Hotson,
J C W (btsm, wckt, insomniac) Howarth,
I (btsm, bwl,
moaner) Newman-Robson,
J (drinker, bwl) Pearson,
J W (btsm, bwl, sleeper) Reeves,
M K (btsm, bwl, under used wckt) Roberts,
C D* (drinker, tall bwl) Rundle,
M S (likely injured) Shorten,
D (dog keeper, not skipper) Timms,
G J (bwl, not skipper) Turner,
R P (pizza) Westmoreland,
M T (likely injured) Williams,
C T J (btsm, bwl) * - Latest Newsflash:
Chris Roberts (aka Lennie) may not
be touring due to work commitments. We hope this situation can be resolved so
Howarth (George) has someone to sleep with on the boundary. ‘Saga Holidays’
|
*
Far from the MCC versus Islip
CC Played at Brasenose College, 30 July
2017 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to field Match Abandoned Far from the MCC debuts: none |
17 / 435 35 over match |
Team |
Islip CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
Aiden |
c Westmoreland b Roberts |
12 |
|
1 |
- |
1-25 |
2 |
A. Rehman |
b Timms |
26 |
|
3 |
- |
2-57 |
3 |
C. Thompson |
st Hotson b Timms |
19 |
|
2 |
- |
4-72 |
4 |
B. Deeley |
c Hotson b Reeves |
3 |
|
- |
- |
3-62 |
5 |
A. Amman |
c Timms b Ainsworth |
36 |
|
3 |
1 |
6-107 |
6 |
M. Saghir |
c Williams b Ainsworth |
2 |
|
- |
- |
5-75 |
7 |
H. Brock |
b Ainsworth |
6 |
|
- |
- |
7-119 |
8 |
B. Crawford |
not out |
6 |
|
- |
- |
- |
9 |
K. Crawford |
not out |
9 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
10 |
L. Bennett-Jones |
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
S. Nelson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB1, W6, LB1, B3 |
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 7 wickets, 35 overs) |
130 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
1 |
Newman-Robson |
7 |
1 |
13 |
0 |
1.86 |
|
2 |
Roberts |
7 |
2 |
18 |
1 |
2.57 |
|
3 |
Reeves |
5 |
0 |
18 |
1 |
3.60 |
|
4 |
Timms |
5 |
0 |
21 |
2 |
4.20 |
|
5 |
Rundle |
6 |
0 |
40 |
0 |
6.67 |
|
6 |
Ainsworth |
5 |
0 |
17 |
3 |
3.40 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
R. P. Turner |
|
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
C. T. J. Williams |
|
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
|
|
|
|
|
|
4 |
I. Howarth |
|
|
|
|
|
|
5 |
L. G. Ainsworth |
|
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
J. C. W. Hotson † |
|
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
G. J. Timms * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
M. K. Reeves |
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
J. Newman-Robson |
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|
|
|
|
10 |
M. S. Rundle |
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
C. D. Roberts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
MOTM: L. G. Ainsworth Champagne Moment: C. T. J. Williams’
juggling catch at long off Buffet
Award: M. S. Rundle’s baked vanilla
and lemon cheesecake (blueberry compote) MAD
Moment: n/a |
Opposition:
V078 / 06 Ground: G040 / 61 Captain: C022 / 63 Match No: 35 / 153 |