Match: 17
/ 411
Lost
by 19 runs
Team |
Total |
Wolvercote CC |
109 |
J. Hoskins 3 - 18 |
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
89 - 9 |
T. Smith 17*, G. Timms
17 |
An acrimonious end to an
evening where nobody could see each other spilled onto the front page of the
local Cutteslowe Times. Club S16 Captain James Pearson was quoted as saying
“it was ridiculous, that a fun evening playing cricket in the dark with your
mates should be ruined by a pathetic spat over money.” Treasurer Mike Reeves
defended his stance by saying “it is hardly breaking news that the paper Ł5
note is being replaced by a polymer Winston Churchill. These old notes go out
of circulation on Saturday and I’m fucked if I’m exchanging everyone’s subs
at the shitting bank because they
can’t be bothered to pay up with legal currency.” Continuing his rant “…and
to complain about the new note
containing a small amount of tallow? (derived from a meat product) Hotson and
Smith can shove their dirty cocaine fivers up their arse!” Corporate Treasurer Mr Reeves (left) will say
fuck off to paper fivers. Bucking a recent trend
in his infinite wisdom, Corporal Pearson elected to waste the modicum of time
available by walking out to the wicket to lose the toss. Wolvercote had no
hesitation in batting in the remaining light, and thus began their
foreshortened innings by cashing in on some wayward shit from Roberts
(3-1-23-1). Bowling downhill with the wind and rain on his back, Bob did pull
it back to record The MAD’s first wicket at this ground since July 7, 2010.
The club did play here the year after, but opted to lose to the Isis by ten
wickets instead. Bowling uphill into the
wind and rain, Howarth (3-0-21-0) had no luck whatsoever, but did take the
opportunity to have a good fucking moan. Smith grassed a sitter in his hoodie
and six sweaters, whilst Reeves’ forty yard sprint to drop a clanger came
minutes after he pirouetted over a casual push for four. Of course, when
you’re The Club’s premier artisan with the ball, bowling uphill into worsening
conditions presents no problems. A round of applause for James Hoskins’
(3-0-18-3) exemplary throwing of darts, lobbers, pies and quiche lorraine then. His rising benchmark of career MAD wickets
shows no signs of slowing. Geoff Carter (batting) would hold the same pose
after the ball sailed by. With wickets at a
premium, much akin to The MAD investing in new cricket balls, Wolvercote
sportingly decided to run themselves out. There were four pitiful examples
and the confusion was that bad even
Carter had time to get in on the act. Detaching his drip and clambering off
his hospital bed at square leg, Geoff located the ball before releasing an
underarm howitzer to the profligate Reeves (2-0-8-1 downhill) tending the
stumps. Ainsworth (3-0-11-0 downhill) and Smith (2-0-18-1 uphill) then helped
tidy things off as the home side checked out on a workmanlike 109. With no teas available
and no time between innings, Howarth simply took a photograph of a soggy oppo
scorecard before eloping to take snaps of Carter (0) slicing the ball. Timms
(17) and Turner (12) were significantly better (in hitting the ball) or at
least up until the point when the moon began to rise behind the pavilion. In the perpetual
darkness popularised by James Herbert’s 80s horror novel, Pearson (4), Reeves
(6) and Ainsworth (9) all fell in the enshrouding gloom, we assume, however
their circumstances and in which order it was hard to visualise. One
dismissal we can relate was Howarth’s inglorious stumping first ball, a
stellar dismissal predicted by ‘Mystic’ Turner, delighting in hysteria as he
tumbled from his chair. It all left Roberts (8), Hoskins (2) and Hotson (2*)
to extend the innings to 89 in the sentient dark and Smith (17*) to
rediscover he can actually bat. A match lost, but one by
virtue of sub-standard coin tossing and shitty light. You can never combat
the elements, just like you can no longer park at Cutteslowe for free or use
a paper fiver for subs. ‘Winston Churchill’
|
*
Far from the MCC versus Wolvercote
CC Played at Cutteslowe Park, 3 May 2017 Wolvercote CC won the
toss and elected to bat Wolvercote CC won by 19 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
17 / 411 16 over match |
Team |
Wolvercote CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
B. Proctor |
lbw b Hoskins |
28 |
|
4 |
- |
3-57 |
2 |
C. O'Hicky
† |
b Roberts |
7 |
|
1 |
- |
1-17 |
3 |
A. Borlickar |
c Timms b Hoskins |
13 |
|
1 |
- |
2-57 |
4 |
C. Potter * |
run out (Carter/Reeves) |
16 |
|
3 |
- |
8-91 |
5 |
P. Lohan |
b Hoskins |
3 |
|
- |
- |
4-64 |
6 |
B. George |
run out (Hoskins) |
4 |
|
- |
- |
5-81 |
7 |
P. R. Waren |
b Reeves |
1 |
|
- |
- |
6-83 |
8 |
M. Bird |
b Smith |
1 |
|
- |
- |
7-87 |
9 |
L. Velasquez |
run out (Hotson) |
6 |
|
1 |
- |
9-93 |
10 |
M. Wells |
run out (Timms/Smith) |
1 |
|
- |
- |
10-108 |
11 |
R. Oliver |
not out |
14 |
|
3 |
- |
- |
|
Extras |
NB1, W5, LB4, B4 |
14 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 16 overs) |
108 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
1 |
Roberts |
3 |
1 |
23 |
1 |
7.67 |
|
2 |
Howarth |
3 |
0 |
21 |
0 |
7.00 |
|
3 |
Ainsworth |
3 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
3.67 |
|
4 |
Hoskins |
3 |
0 |
18 |
3 |
6.00 |
|
5 |
Reeves |
2 |
0 |
8 |
1 |
4.00 |
|
6 |
Smith |
2 |
0 |
18 |
1 |
9.00 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
G. Carter |
c and b Bird |
0 |
(8) |
- |
- |
1-3 |
2 |
G. J. Timms |
b Wells |
17 |
(13) |
3 |
- |
2-34 |
3 |
R. P. Turner |
b Wells |
12 |
(23) |
- |
- |
3-35 |
4 |
J. W. Pearson * |
c Velasquez b Wells |
4 |
(6) |
- |
- |
7-54 |
5 |
M. K. Reeves |
c O'Hicky b
Velasquez |
6 |
(7) |
1 |
- |
4-43 |
6 |
L. G. Ainsworth |
c George b Velasquez |
9 |
(7) |
1 |
- |
5-53 |
7 |
I. Howarth |
c O'Hicky b
Velasquez |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
6-54 |
8 |
T. P. W. Smith |
not out |
17 |
(18) |
1 |
1 |
- |
9 |
C. D. Roberts |
b Lohan |
8 |
(8) |
- |
- |
8-77 |
10 |
J. D. Hoskins |
b Waren |
2 |
(5) |
- |
- |
9-87 |
11 |
J. C. W. Hotson † |
not out |
2 |
(1) |
- |
- |
- |
|
Extras |
NB1, W8, LB3 |
12 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 9 wickets, 16 overs) |
89 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
1 |
George |
3 |
0 |
4 |
0 |
1.33 |
|
2 |
Bird |
3 |
0 |
20 |
1 |
6.67 |
|
3 |
Velasquez |
3 |
0 |
22 |
3 |
7.33 |
|
4 |
Wells |
3 |
0 |
11 |
3 |
3.67 |
|
5 |
Lohan |
2 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
7.50 |
|
6 |
Waren |
2 |
0 |
14 |
1 |
7.00 |
|
MOTM: J. D. Hoskins Champagne Moment: T. P. W. Smith’s large
six over cow corner Buffet
Award: T. P. W. Smith’s spicy kale
and coconut stir fry MAD
Moment: I. Howarth’s brainless
stumping for a golden duck |
Opposition:
V086 / 02 Ground: G001 / 32 Captain: C021 / 04 Match No: OT / 029 |