“Abingdon Road Kill Fest:

Bloody Rampage at Brasenose:

Hundreds Slain”

Match: 18 / 456

Won by 19 runs

Team	Total
FFTMCC	119
C. Williams 25, G. Timms 23
Bodleian	100 - 6
J. Webster 2 - 13

The word ‘bucolic’ apparently relates to the ‘pleasant aspects of the countryside and country life’, which is basically drinking cider in fields in the nud, isn’t it? Nevertheless, despite the fact that Oxford is an essentially urban place and public nudity is both illegal and general unwelcome, bucolic is precisely the word that comes to mind when thinking through this particular game.

The MAD had been through an exceptional run of four tight games with extraordinary finishes marked by such moments as The Jake Hotson Appleton Run Out*, The Lucan Lemmings Six and The Game Where Spam Had to Drive a School Bus Round and Round Isis and Not Let the Speed Go Below 60 MPH or It Would Blow Up! Perhaps what was actually required now was an ordinary game, so as better to offset the extraordinary; a game wherein pulse rates could be relied on to remain within slumbering pace. And this, very enjoyably, is precisely what we got. 

The MAD and The Bod have been friendly rivals for years, several of the librarians have MAD player numbers and Bod skipper, Mr Stuart Ackland, has even penned a chapter in our forthcoming book “Never at This Level” (shameless plug). The last game the author of this report played prior to this one was notable for one cricketer (not a MAD player) threatening to knock another cricketer (not a Bod) out as he felt some of things said about his mother were uncalled for. This was not likely to happen here. These are two teams cosily entwined by snuggly fate, more spiritual bedfellows in the manner of Eric and Ernie than the Montagues and Capulets.

If it was even possible to improve on this amity, the weather did its best to oblige. Even at 6pm, the temperature was a benevolent 25 C and the sky was as blue as a Coventry FC shirt. A ripple of clicks and hisses rustled through the sizable crowd (about 20!) as various cans were opened and quaffed steadily. The river flowed invisibly beyond the fence, birds tweeted, and the ground was as green as green can be. In fact, the only thing greener on the ground was Emerson’s face as he was shown the healing leg of Stephen Stone who recently attempted to set landspeed records without his motorbike.

A gaggle of Bod.

Messers Williams (25) and Timms (23), a new opening combination, ambled out to take on the father and son opening attack of the Shaws, James (Sr) and Dan (Jr), who between themselves measure around 20 feet in height. The early skirmishes were decidedly in favour of The MAD as we dashed to 45-0 off the first six overs. Pops blasted one back over Shaw Sr’s head for four, a shot we have become accustomed to, but also unveiled a few nifty late cuts, while Timms pulled his first ball for a three and then played a classic Boycottian on drive which showed all that the outfield was quick and which also surprised the batsman more than the bowler.

On reflection, the openers running a second set of three runs a little later almost proved to be the innings’ undoing as an out of puff Pops promptly missed a straight J. Shaw delivery, sparking off a mini-collapse to 55-3. Next man in, Richard Hadfield, was hot off the back of a scintillating 81 against the Lemmings but was beaten by the classic village three card trick: the metre-wide wide outside off stump, the head high no ball, followed by the lolloping straight piece of uneaten pie. Timms’s fine knock also ended hereabouts as – to give it a technical explanation – he flumped the offie to mid-off. 

A measure of calm was restored by Luke Jenkins and MAD debutant Ben Walker as they the added 25 together. Jenkins struck one as a batsman who won’t die wondering as he biffed a very handy 22 which included two fours from his first three balls as well as the game’s only six.

Jenkins and Walker (on strike) being attacked by a floating red ball.

While this season has seen some splendid results, The MAD have still managed to cling on to some old habits. A second flurry of wickets saw us go from 80-3 to 81-6 as a succession of unsportingly straight deliveries cleaned up Walker (2) and Webster (0), both lbw, and bowled Jenkins. From there The MAD actually did well to get up to a final score of 119 all out, with skipper Shorten’s 13 topping the bottom of the bill as it were, helped by good running from Roberts (3), Vermaak (8, including one memorable straight slap for four) and Hotson (1). Howarth (6*) was left in splendid red inked isolation, pondering what could have been a 7* or even an 8*. Young Harry, sat on the boundary edge simply saw Howarth trudging back to the pavilion shortly after trudging out to the wicket; all the same as it ever is. 

After an amiable break, veterans Shorten and Howarth opened the bowling on a still evening with not enough breeze even to ruffle the row of coloured deckchairs in front of the pavilion. They are about the same age as Curtley Ambrose and Courtney Walsh, although the resemblance stops about there. However, Shorten (1-8) broke through Bod opener Jones’s defence with a gem of a yorker then promptly took himself off as if horrified by his own rudeness.

Then, as the sun slowly set behind the trees at the city end of the ground, came the highest partnership of the match as M. Neely and J. Shaw put on a measured 54 off the next ten overs, playing some well-directed bowling from Timms (0-16), Vermaak (0-15) and Jenkins (0-18) with good sense and the occasional big shot back over the bowler’s head. At 69-1 with 9 overs left in the game, the Bodleian were well in it, but the combined loss of Neely (28, bowled Webster) and McKiernan to a champagne moment direct hit with only one stump to aim at from that man Hadfield at square leg turned the game in MAD’s favour. This was then followed by the retirement of J. Shaw (31*) and the further loss of Hewett (bowled Webster (2-13)) and confirmed the game’s new course as the Bod slipped to 84-5 with four overs to go.

Corne (second from right) shows off his cock to everyone.

Fine and straight death bowling by the perennially unlucky Roberts (1-11), who saw a couple of catches go begging, and Howarth (1-15) closed the librarians down despite D. Shaw refusing to go quietly. Bodleian ended on exactly 100, for the loss of 6 wickets, and The MAD won by 19 runs. The sun set with no concerns about any players going to bed cross. Everybody had a good time. A good, relaxed time. 

‘Arnold Wurzel’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Bodleian Played at Brasenose College, 22 June 2018 Bodleian won the toss and elected to field Far from the MCC won by 19 runs Far from the MCC debuts: Benedict Edward Lewis Walker (148)

18 / 456 20 over match

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	C. T. J. Williams	b J. Shaw	25	(24)	3	-	1-45
2	G. J. Timms	c Busby b McKiernan	23	(18)	3	-	3-55
3	R. J. B. Hadfield	b McKiernan	3	(4)	-	-	2-54
4	L. T. Jenkins	b Neely	22	(22)	3	1	4-80
5	B. E. L. Walker	lbw b Mc Kirernan	2	(14)	-	-	6-81
6	J. vdG. Webster	lbw b Neely	0	(1)	-	-	5-80
7	D. Shorten *	b Milner	13	(15)	2	-	9-112
8	C. D. Roberts	lbw b Ackland	3	(6)	-	-	7-96
9	C. J. Vermaak	b Ackland	8	(10)	1	-	8-108
10	I. Howarth	not out	6	(6)	-	-	-
11	J. C. W. Hotson †	st Jones b Ackland	1	(5)	-	-	10-119
	Extras	NB5, W5, B3	13
	TOTAL	(all out, 20 overs)	119

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	J. Shaw	4	0	34	1	8.50
2	D. Shaw	3	0	16	0	5.33
3	McKiernon	4	0	10	3	2.50
4	Neely	4	0	29	2	7.25
5	Ackland	3	0	13	3	4.33
6	Milner	2	0	14	1	7.00

Team	Bodleian
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	M. D. J. Neely	b Webster	28		4	-	2-69
2	G. E. D. Jones †	b Shorten	4		1	-	1-14
3	J. A. Shaw	retired	31		4	-	-
4	L. J. McKiernan	run out (Hadfield)	2		-	-	3-71
5	A. F. Milner	not out	7		1	-	-
6	D. Hewett	b Webster	0		-	-	4-77
7	T. Philipson	b Howarth	4		-	-	5-84
8	D. R. Shaw	b Roberts	10		-	-	6-100
9	D. F. Busby	not out	0		-	-	-
10	S. G. Ackland *
11	A. R. Paton
	Extras	NB1, W6, LB5, B2	14
	TOTAL	(for 6 wickets, 20 overs)	100

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Shorten	2	1	8	1	4.00
2	Howarth	4	0	15	1	3.75
3	Timms	3	0	16	0	5.33
4	Vermaak	2	0	15	0	7.50
5	Jenkins	3	0	18	0	6.00
6	Webster	3	0	13	2	4.33
7	Roberts	3	0	11	1	3.67

MOTM: G. J. Timms Champagne Moment: R. J. B. Hadfield’s direct hit (run out) from square leg Buffet Award: C. J. Vermaak’s beef Boerewors MAD Moment: n/a

Opposition: V023 / 25 Ground: G040 / 65 Captain: C016 / 35 Match No: 20 / 115