Match: 18
/ 452
Won
by 12 runs
Team |
Total |
FFTMCC |
118 - 8 |
L. Jenkins
30*, M. Reeves 18 |
|
|
|
Wootton & Boars Hill CC |
106 - 6 |
I. Howarth
3 - 18 |
Last year produced a
memorable match in this shorter form of the game, with James Pearson’s last
ball miscue helping The MAD to chase down their total in the hastening gloom.
It was an encounter enriched by the contentious subject of enforced
declarations (on reaching 30), a contemporary ruling in village circles that
helps to stamp out the batting egos and give everybody a game. It worked that
evening and it certainly worked here too. A rescheduled affair saw
some wonderful evening sunshine light up what is regarded as one of the
prettiest grounds in Oxfordshire. Sat on the lap of a hill encircled by trees
and pastoral farming, Wootton has panoramic views that stretch for miles, all
the way to Didcot and its remaining towers, horrible concrete behemoths given
a stay of execution because of suicidal dynamite experts. Didcot in the background, awaiting an airstrike
at some point. Winning the toss,
Skipper Shorten had no hesitation in batting first and sending out his
“destructive hitters” to edge several balls through the slips (Emerson 15)
and hot others straight to fielders (Williams 5, Howarth 6). In an
unaccustomed role in batting higher than eleven, Roberts (10) pleased the eye,
but with Shorten (4) joining the ranks of the really-should-do-better, 54-5
off 11 ovs looked distinctly underwhelming. Thankfully
Reeves (18) hit a quick cameo with his shagged knees but hopes then listed
towards Pearl Harbour with the sinking of Rundle (5) and Turner (6). Time
enough for debutant Luke Thomas Jenkins (30*) to rescue matters (in harness
with Carter 4*) utilising a mix of audacious drives and reverse sweeps no
less. A total of 118-8 was considered a roughly par total by eleven men who
could boast no local knowledge or expertise in considering what was a par
total. The booze interval
centred on a team photo stood in front of the Wootton pavilion with the “destructive
hitters” effecting an audible backdrop of moaning and shot-envy
of Jenkins’ reverse sweeps. It was a shame the camera was given to Wiskin Jr
who I imagine by his own admission wasn’t the star
of his art class in his teens. Two games on the trot we witness cultured batting
from Mr Rundle. On resumption, Williams
stood on the boundary with his hands in his pockets as the home side smashed
the ball everywhere. Roberts (2-0-16-1) copped some flak but saw Shorten (2-0-8-0)
defy rumours Midge be replaced by a blind dog, in catching a ridiculous one-handed
champagne stunner off N Kingy (4). Jenkins toiled
as did anyone who bowled at the bats of Glover and Kane (both 32 retired).
So, game more or less done and dusted then? Well, not
quite, so please continue with this fascinating* (* - delete as appropriate) read by choosing from the two options outlined
below… Option 1 – The Completely Plausible and Utterly Obvious
Conclusion to the Match …Dave Shorten tried
galvanising his men, but as the balls continued to rain down in surrounding
housing estates and disappear into hedgrows, he
eventually gave up like everybody else and joined Williams still stood on the
boundary with his hands in his pockets. Game over, The MAD got trounced and
Damien Wiskin danced on our T20 grave. The atmosphere was muted post-match as
the team mulled defeat with votes cast as to who had done slightly more than
Williams. Jenkins scooped the MOTM because he looked like a batsman, he was
new to the team and we didn’t want to dissuade him from
ever playing again. Shorten was then fired
as skipper. The End. Oh. Option 2 – The Completely Implausible and Utterly
Incredulous Conclusion to the Match …with the retirement of W&BH’s
sublime Glover and Kane, it exposed the home team’s middle order, albeit a
rather healthy middle order with only about 40 or so runs to get. The
innocuous trundling of Rundle (4-0-17-0) is often written about, particularly
by this pen, and here he did what he always does, get abused by looking like
a badly serviced car wreck throwing down some “hittable shite.” But of
course, it never is just “hittable shite” as his figures proved once again. After getting tonked for ten in his first over, Howarth (4-0-18-3) then
produced a spell of skiddy toe-crushers that were his forte back when Wham!
Topped the UK charts. A model of divine inconsistency, knocking back D Wiskin’s (9) timber allows Ian the luxury of living off
this wicket for the remainder of the season, and you may well get to hear
about this dismissal for the rest
of the season. With wickets tumbling
and runs evaporating, you now got to witness a MAD Skipper prowling the field
with a sense of positivity not seen since he hit that ton back in 1914.
“We’re in this, guys” barked Shorten, “we can fucking
win this!” Russ (right) to Jenkins: “So, you’re a fucking ringer then, right? Sorted.” After declaring himself
injured a few weeks ago, Reeves (4-0-11-1) has got to stand in slips most
games and pretend nobody knows what he’s doing.
David Emerson began this trait a few years ago, concocting some fantastical
undiagnosed injury to save having to do any exercise in the field, then
batting or bowling with a zest of 16-year-old amped up Lucozade. Mike’s spell
from the top end was exacting as Howarth’s, being almost impossible to get
under and twat. He then went back to field at first
slip. It all left debutant
Luke Jenkins (4-0-32-1) to forget about the mauling of Glover and Kane, and
stop Wootton hitting nineteen off the final over. This he did with aplomb and
there was nothing that Webb (4*) or Crowe (6*) or the
retired-waiting-to-bat-again Glover and Kane could do about it. Jolly gosh,
The MAD had won! The atmosphere was one
of euphoric exaltation post-match as the team pored over a victory claimed
from the jaws of a totally inevitable defeat. An absurd sporting turnaround,
this was as diametrically opposed to the Isis game a fortnight ago as it was
possible to imagine. With votes cast as to who had done slightly more than
Williams, Jenkins scooped MOTM because he looked like a batsman, he was new
to the team and we didn’t want to dissuade him from
ever playing again. Shorten was now
emboldened as skipper. The End. Shorten (left) wearing the very best of his
wardrobe. ‘Threodore For’
|
*
Far from the MCC versus Wootton &
Boars Hill CC Played at Wootton & Boars Hill
CC, 6 June 2018 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 12 runs Far from the MCC debuts: Luke
Thomas Jenkins (147) |
18 / 452 20 over match |
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
D. Emerson |
c Glover b Collins |
15 |
(20) |
1 |
- |
1-17 |
2 |
C. T. J. Williams |
c Gellher b
Parker |
5 |
(9) |
1 |
- |
2-30 |
3 |
I. Howarth |
c Kane b Wiskin |
6 |
(11) |
- |
- |
3-38 |
4 |
C. D. Roberts |
b Crowe |
10 |
(13) |
1 |
- |
5-54 |
5 |
D. Shorten * |
b Crowe |
4 |
(5) |
1 |
- |
4-43 |
6 |
M. K. Reeves |
b Wiskin |
18 |
(18) |
2 |
- |
6-75 |
7 |
M. S. Rundle |
b Glover |
5 |
(11) |
- |
- |
7-77 |
8 |
R. P. Turner |
b Gellher |
6 |
(8) |
1 |
- |
8-92 |
9 |
L. T. Jenkins |
not out |
30 |
(20) |
5 |
- |
- |
10 |
G. Carter † |
not out |
4 |
(5) |
- |
- |
- |
11 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
W7, LB1, B7 |
15 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 8 wickets, 20 overs) |
118 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
1 |
Parker |
4 |
0 |
13 |
1 |
3.25 |
|
2 |
Collins |
3 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
5.00 |
|
3 |
Wiskin |
4 |
0 |
17 |
2 |
4.25 |
|
4 |
Crowe |
2 |
0 |
12 |
2 |
6.00 |
|
5 |
Glover |
2 |
0 |
12 |
1 |
6.00 |
|
6 |
Gellher |
3 |
0 |
24 |
1 |
8.00 |
|
7 |
Mulliner |
2 |
0 |
17 |
0 |
8.50 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Wootton & Boars Hill
CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
C. Kane † |
retired |
32 |
|
5 |
- |
- |
2 |
N. Kingy |
c Shorten b Roberts |
4 |
|
1 |
- |
1-15 |
3 |
M. Glover |
retired |
32 |
|
5 |
- |
- |
4 |
W. Gellher |
b Howarth |
6 |
|
1 |
- |
2-73 |
5 |
M. Mulliner |
b Howarth |
3 |
|
- |
- |
4-89 |
6 |
D. Wiskin |
b Howarth |
9 |
|
2 |
- |
3-87 |
7 |
D. Parker |
c Williams b Jenkins |
5 |
|
1 |
- |
6-94 |
8 |
N. Collins * |
b Reeves |
1 |
|
- |
- |
5-90 |
9 |
B. Webb |
not out |
4 |
|
- |
- |
- |
10 |
T. Crowe |
not out |
6 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
11 |
M. Wiskin |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
W1, LB1, B2 |
4 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 6 wickets, 20 overs) |
106 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
1 |
Roberts |
2 |
0 |
16 |
1 |
8.00 |
|
2 |
Shorten |
2 |
0 |
8 |
0 |
4.00 |
|
3 |
Jenkins |
4 |
0 |
32 |
1 |
8.00 |
|
4 |
Rundle |
4 |
0 |
17 |
0 |
4.25 |
|
5 |
Howarth |
4 |
1 |
18 |
3 |
4.50 |
|
6 |
Reeves |
4 |
0 |
11 |
1 |
2.75 |
|
MOTM: L. T. Jenkins Champagne Moment: D. Shorten’s one-handed
catch at mid on Buffet
Award: L. T. Jenkins & C. D. Roberts’ carnivorous BBQ (with salad
sides) MAD
Moment: n/a |
Opposition:
V039 / 18 Ground: G017 / 14 Captain: C016 / 33 Match No: 20 / 113 |