“Gross Underperformance Exposed to the World”
Match: 18
/ 473
Lost
by 96 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Moreton CC |
272 - 4 |
|
A. Darley
2 - 43, J. Newman 2 - 76 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
176 |
|
C. Williams
43, R. Hadfield 23 |
|
|
Two years ago, Paddy
Mellor was tasked with organising an open top bus in the centre of Oxford to
parade the Friendly Cup. It would be the club’s crowning glory to finally win
some silverware, put themselves on the map of pub team immortality and drink
out on the tale long after their knees and backs gave way. It didn’t quite work
out like that of course, with a couple of Oxford Down’s finest rocking up to
fuel a winter of discontent.
Friendly Cup Final 2018 – Far from the MCC v Moreton CC With the team growing
old as one and the dads amongst our number failing to get their kids out on
the park, the doddery old sods who represent Team MAD are maybe inching
closer to the last chance saloon. Hold the tabloids though, because after a
rousing victory over neighbours Isis in a game neither deserved to win, the
team with a forever misspelled acronym are back in the showpiece final. So,
get that bus on standby, Paddy! With Horspath CC (and
Max Eason in particular) willing to help out and stage
the match (and man the bar), the occasion was thrust into the modern world
and YouTube live streaming. Now, wherever you were and whatever regretful alternative
you had signed up for on September 2nd, you could dial into your mobile and
watch the action.
A game of two halves
seemed like three halves, seeing the first half took in about twenty drinks
breaks, searches for balls amongst advertising hoardings and hedgerows and interruptions
to watch WWII planes fly over the hardened, sun-drenched pitch. It was bloody
hot as well, and by the end of forty overs it felt like a whole game had
played out or at least for the poor fuckers in the field chasing leather most
the afternoon. That first half
contained the sublime opening burst from Mr Darley, full of vim and vigour from a night on the piss, yorking Squires for a
blob and having Howat (not to be confused with Howarth) caught for 1. At this
point in time the game was there for grabs with Moreton wobbling on 17-2 in
the seventh over. Newman also bowled some overs. Thereafter (the second
half) the MacDonald Bros consisting of Tom (114) and Will (104) invested in a
sublime 215 run partnership that offered up nothing in the way of obvious
chances. Throughout this gargantuan lump of batting showmanship, Captain
Turner ran through his roll call of bowlers to little avail. Reeves 0-11,
Emerson 0-23, Shorten 0-31, Hoskins 0-43, Pearson 0-17 and Howarth (not to be
confused with Howat) 0-19.
Will and Tom, tons up. This record
breaking effort finally ended when they fell to consecutive deliveries
off the returning Newman (8-0-76-2), both pumping balls down the throat of
Howarth (not to be confused with Howat) at long off. That set the stage for a
brutal late cameo from their dad, Chris (35* off 11 balls), who tried manfully
to dislodge roofing tiles on the pavilion, knock birds out of trees or skewer
children with cricket balls in the adjoining playground. Thankfully there were
only 40 overs. Unthankfully there was the small notion of chasing down 272-4
for victory. Best not to dwell on the bloody hopeless and concentrate instead
on a wonderful tea prepared by Mrs Reeves (whose credit was naturally taken up
by her husband), and if that wasn’t distracting enough, there was always the
bar. There is always a bar and if there isn’t, there is always an off
licence. It was at this point
that the clear oasis of blue above the ground became firstly spotted with
cloud and then blanket thick, so perfect for swing bowling then. Onto the third half of
the game and fresh from a five week break in the middle of the cricket
season, Pearson (4) would soon me mumbling to himself about a self-imposed
exile and then mumbling to everybody else about why the hell he did it. We
don’t know, James – newly married life? Early retirement? Mush of the brain?
Hadfield looked good before he decided to run. Parity in the match was
then briefly restored by Williams (43) and Hadfield (23) working through the
gears and playing some decent cricket, although the latter’s run out to a
direct hit can perhaps pinpoint the demise of The MAD run chase. It was at
this point the world was on fire to tweets, texts and messaging from people
glued to the game unfolding on YouTube, so we take a break from this
narrative to read up on some of this internet chatter….
Can I just point out that this match
is being shown live on YouTube? Search for Horspath CC! On 2 Sep 2018, at
17:55, Martin westmoreland <themoo_man>
wrote: Just got back fro.m
Plymouth. I’m watching on YouTube👍. How many overs are we playing.m?
Moo Sent from my iPhone On 2 Sep 2018, at 18:04,
Matthew Bullock <theoxforddrinker>
wrote: Will be 40 overs unless they’ve had
rain Sent from my iPhone On 2 Sep 2018, at
18:09, Andy Darley <darls> wrote: We’re 104 for 3 off 20 overs chasing
272. They had 2 centurions and a guy hit 35 off 11 balls at the end of their
inns Spam and Emerson at the crease Sent from my iPhone On 2 Sep 2018, at
18:13, Martin westmoreland <themoo_man>
wrote: Spam was at the cease Sent from my iPhone On 2 Sep 2018, at
18:20, Andy Darley <darls> wrote: He spooned it to a girl at sq leg. 6 from Lego! Plenty of guns in the
bag!!!! Oh Sent from my iPhone With Howarth’s (21)
dismissal (not to be confused with Howat) to yet another full toss, Emerson’s
(15) YouTube castling and Shorten’s (11) guide to catching practice, thereon
lay the outstretched arms of victory so many miles away. On 2 Sep 2018, at
18:25, Matthew Bullock <theoxforddrinker>
wrote: Hope we’ve got a very big, very full
bag Oh, Turners out Sent from my iPhone On 2 Sep 2018, at
18:27, Martin westmoreland <themoo_man>
wrote: Captains innings needed Sent from my iPhone
If a picture could tell…. With the MacDonald Clan
taking a further 6 wickets to add to their 97.66537% runs off the bat, the
pub team with no pub would run out of options in the 34th over. Turner had
gone for 5, Reeves 13, Darley 12 and Hoskins and Newman* didn’t bother the
scorers, although the guy* who went for more runs in a spell of bowling than
anyone since Tetsworth 2009 at least could claim to be undefeated. Unlike the
FFTMCC.
Andrew’s time in the nets practicing the on drive
are paying dividends.
Hoskins pulls viciously on his way to a sublime
nought. A game played out in
good spirit throughout, yet another final lost, unless you happened from
Moreton, which we most certainly aren’t. Congratulations to them,
commiserations to us. Henceforth a virtual silverware cupboard bare and
another winter of discontent and wondering what if…. The caveat? A bar still
open. Long live the bar.
‘Not Howat’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Moreton
CC Played at Horspath CC, 2 September
2018 Moreton CC won the toss and elected to bat Moreton CC won by 96 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
18 / 473 Friendly Cup Final 40 over match |
|
Team |
Moreton CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
A. Squires |
b Darley |
0 |
(6) |
- |
- |
1-2 |
|
2 |
E. Howat |
c Hoskins b Darley |
1 |
(19) |
- |
- |
2-17 |
|
3 |
T. MacDonald |
c Howarth b Newman-Robson |
112 |
(107) |
17 |
- |
3-232 |
|
4 |
W. MacDonald |
c Howarth b Newman-Robson |
104 |
(97) |
16 |
- |
4-232 |
|
5 |
C. MacDonald |
not out |
35 |
(11) |
3 |
3 |
- |
|
6 |
M. Howat |
not out |
5 |
(3) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
7 |
C. Esse |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
S. Ramachandra |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
A. Lemming |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
B. Dewey |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
H. Blatchley |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB3, W3, LB3, B6 |
15 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 40 overs) |
272 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Darley |
8 |
3 |
43 |
2 |
5.38 |
|
|
2 |
Newman-Robson |
8 |
0 |
76 |
2 |
9.50 |
|
|
3 |
Reeves |
5 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
2.20 |
|
|
4 |
Emerson |
4 |
0 |
23 |
0 |
5.75 |
|
|
5 |
Shorten |
5 |
0 |
31 |
0 |
6.20 |
|
|
6 |
Hoskins |
5 |
0 |
43 |
0 |
8.60 |
|
|
7 |
Pearson |
3 |
0 |
17 |
0 |
5.67 |
|
|
8 |
Howarth |
2 |
0 |
19 |
0 |
9.50 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. W. Pearson |
c Howat b Blatchley |
4 |
(12) |
1 |
- |
1-20 |
|
2 |
C. T. J. Williams |
b C. MacDonald |
43 |
(60) |
8 |
- |
3-98 |
|
3 |
R. J. T. Hadfield |
run out (T. MacDonald) |
23 |
(32) |
3 |
- |
2-78 |
|
4 |
I. Howarth |
c Blatchley b C. MacDonald |
21 |
(23) |
4 |
- |
4-111 |
|
5 |
D. Emerson |
b W. MacDonald |
15 |
(11) |
3 |
- |
5-133 |
|
6 |
D. Shorten |
c Dewey b W. MacDonald |
11 |
(14) |
- |
1 |
6-140 |
|
7 |
R. P. Turner *† |
c Esse b W.
MacDonald |
5 |
(12) |
- |
- |
7-144 |
|
8 |
M. K. Reeves |
c T. MacDonald b Dewey |
13 |
(25) |
2 |
- |
9-176 |
|
9 |
A. Darley |
c and b Dewey |
12 |
(11) |
1 |
1 |
8-173 |
|
10 |
J. D. Hoskins |
b W. MacDonald |
0 |
(7) |
- |
- |
10-176 |
|
11 |
J. Newman-Robson |
not out |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
- |
|
|
Extras |
W16, LB5, B8 |
29 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 34.4 overs) |
176 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Ramachandra |
8 |
2 |
30 |
0 |
3.75 |
|
|
2 |
Blatchley |
5 |
1 |
32 |
1 |
6.40 |
|
|
3 |
C. MacDonald |
8 |
0 |
38 |
2 |
4.75 |
|
|
4 |
T. MacDonald |
4 |
0 |
24 |
0 |
6.00 |
|
|
5 |
W. MacDonald |
5.4 |
1 |
17 |
4 |
3.00 |
|
|
6 |
Dewey |
4 |
1 |
22 |
2 |
5.50 |
|
|
MOTM: A. Darley Champagne Moment: A. Darley opening
wicket yorker Buffet
Award: J. Newman-Robson & I. Howarth’s delightful cream eclairs MAD
Moment: J. D. Hoskins’ drop for D.
Shorten’s volley for four |
Opposition:
V105 / 01 Ground: G046 / 07 Captain: C024 / 18 Match No: 40 / 138 |