“MAD Quite Crap Really”
Match: 19
/ 491
Lost
by 96 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Lemmings |
226 - 4 |
|
G. Timms
2 - 26 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
131 |
|
M. Reeves
45, D. Shorten 24 |
|
|
With the bunting taken
down and debris from the street party swept into bins, it was a given that
the following season’s match against the Lemmings would revert to type. You
know, the former graduate’s bat first, pile up 200 plus in the sun and then
watch a hapless MAD batting display under predictable clouds….
Piemen J. Baker and T. Baker and centurion S.
Wood. An always enjoyable
fixture in the calendar, this particular rivalry dates back eighteen years
ago to the turn of the new millennium in a game where Lemmings J. Greany and
M. L. Baker guested and scored most of The MAD’s runs before losing to
themselves. They bolstered a then Jude Obscure team of six irregulars
procured from the pub the night before. Of those six unfortunates, Chairman
Bullock and Mr Hotson still survive, although neither will probably remember
or care to remember that day. If they do, Matt might remember holding up one
end for 17 not out and Jake might remember sawing him off by getting caught
for 3. Everyone looks older now,
considerably. There is a swell to the gut and a world-weary look to the eye.
Saying that, there was probably a fair amount of gut back then courtesy of
the pub. And probably most the guys looked weary too on account of being out on
the piss all night. Losing the toss with
aplomb, Skipper Timms relayed the information to his team that they would
chasing leather all afternoon. How much leather was hard to define, but a
quick stocktake on the Lemmings batting order would indicate the figure to be
quite substantial. We were not to be disappointed, however there was
disappointment that we didn’t get the chance to see Samantha Claire Taylor
MBE in full flight, the ex-England Ladies top order bat caught Newman-Robson
off some shit down leg b Timms 2. And therein lies the problem – at
international level you don’t experience a great deal of shit down leg,
especially the kind of shit that doesn’t bounce. Poor Claire. If you make the
trip next year young lady, bear this village cricket anomaly in mind. So… just for Gareth’s
scrapbook: 2. S. C. Taylor MBE c Newman-Robson b
Timms 2
A flyer from CWCIXX displayed on July 14. …and lest the reality of
the dismissal become clouded in myth, it was a shit ball top-edged by a lady
who probably spent the rest of the day smarting behind the stumps in a wholly
dignified manner as one would expect from someone with her sporting standing. The next wicket was a
long time in coming as Matt Baker (71) upped his average against The MAD
beyond six thousand with a typically muscular innings, aided and abetted by
the dude (Simon Wood) who failed to materialise last year and was culpable
for their humbling defeat that nobody mentions. Together they added 133
before Simon took on the baton to register a well-deserved 103 not out. An
innings all the more special for bothering to turn
out, and also due to his claim to have not batted since he was at grammar
school. A final total of 226-4
saw the tonking shared out amongst the bowlers with Timms (5-1-26-2) the most
outstandish for his egotistical decision to open with himself and fully justify
his ego. So well done him.
Hukins bowling to B. Walker. Kate Reeves did herself
proud at the tea interval for allowing her husband to take the plaudits and
everyone had a jolly nice time talking about days of yore and the two sitters
that Corne Vermaak dropped which cost about 150 runs. Incidentally, our
genial Saffer has made the smart decision to wear
these particularly revelatory sunglasses which turns day into night time. Genius. Rolling back the years,
Emerson (14) and Howarth (10) fronted The MAD reply and gave hope where that
wasn’t any over the course of the first four overs. Then it was pretty shit
really. Shorten (24) clubbed some pie of old man Tom Baker (7-0-45-3) whilst
the rest of the guys who walked out with a bat should perhaps consider
another sporting pursuit (Williams 1, Walker 3, Turner 0, Timms 2, Newman 1
and Rundle 4). This rash of turd contained a run out fit for a Broadway
re-enactment and a caught and bowled choreographed at a special school.
Claire (keeping) watches Shorten trying to skewer
a low flying duck. Of course, this report
would hardly have merited more than a paragraph of deadpan gloom if it
weren’t the final eight overs of The MAD innings. This was a passage of play
that so enriched the day to remind everyone why we continue to play year
after year despite the majority of days being deeply
dispiriting let-downs of personal underachievement. Whacking anything on a
length and off a length, Mike Reeves came close to realising his ambition of
looking like a batsman but became increasingly distracted by the spirited
knock at the other end by number eleven Mr Vermaak. Not noted for this
prowess with the blade, Corne had biffed his way to 19 not out and presented
to the public an opportunity for The MAD high score record at that position
and also a shot at the tenth wicket partnership record. Neither happened of
course, Mike (45) fucked up and the dreams were put to bed. A fine day out with an
opposition that dates back to the early years.
Symbolism, sentimentality and no little cheer for this beautifully flawed
game of cricket. ‘Class of 03’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Lemmings Played at Brasenose College, 7 July
2019 Lemmings won the toss and elected to bat Lemmings won by 96 runs Far from the MCC debuts: n/a |
19 / 491 35 over match |
|
Team |
Lemmings |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
M. Baker |
c Newman-Robson b Howarth |
71 |
|
8 |
1 |
2-136 |
|
2 |
S.C. Taylor MBE † |
c Newman-Robson b Timms |
2 |
|
- |
- |
1-3 |
|
3 |
S. Wood * |
not out |
103 |
|
12 |
- |
- |
|
4 |
R. Smith |
b Williams |
28 |
|
3 |
- |
3-205 |
|
5 |
P. Williams |
c Reeves b Timms |
6 |
|
1 |
- |
4-220 |
|
6 |
G. Hukins |
not out |
5 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
|
7 |
P. Baker |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
T. Baker |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
J. Baker |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB2, W4, LB3, B2 |
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 35 overs) |
226 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Timms |
5 |
1 |
26 |
2 |
5.20 |
|
|
2 |
Newman-Robson |
7 |
0 |
29 |
0 |
4.14 |
|
|
3 |
Rundle |
7 |
0 |
40 |
0 |
5.71 |
|
|
4 |
Reeves |
6 |
1 |
35 |
0 |
5.83 |
|
|
5 |
Vermaak |
4 |
0 |
36 |
0 |
9.00 |
|
|
6 |
Howarth |
3 |
0 |
21 |
1 |
7.00 |
|
|
7 |
Williams |
3 |
0 |
34 |
1 |
11.33 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
D. Emerson |
c Smith b J. Baker |
14 |
(15) |
3 |
- |
1-22 |
|
2 |
I. Howarth |
b P. Baker |
10 |
(17) |
1 |
- |
2-26 |
|
3 |
D. Shorten |
st Taylor b T. Baker |
24 |
(32) |
3 |
1 |
5-54 |
|
4 |
C. T. J. Williams |
run out |
1 |
(8) |
- |
- |
3-27 |
|
5 |
B. E. L. Walker |
b Hukins |
3 |
(17) |
- |
- |
4-54 |
|
6 |
R. P. Turner † |
c and b T. Baker |
0 |
(5) |
- |
- |
6-54 |
|
7 |
M. K. Reeves |
b Smith |
45 |
(46) |
7 |
- |
10-131 |
|
8 |
G. J. Timms * |
b Hukins |
2 |
(5) |
- |
- |
7-61 |
|
9 |
J. Newman-Robson |
c Taylor b T. Baker |
1 |
(3) |
- |
- |
8-70 |
|
10 |
M. S. Rundle |
c P. Baker b Williams |
4 |
(12) |
- |
- |
9-84 |
|
11 |
C. J. Vermaak |
not out |
19 |
(20) |
1 |
1 |
- |
|
|
Extras |
W4, LB1, B3 |
8 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 30 overs) |
131 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
J. Baker |
5 |
1 |
11 |
1 |
2.20 |
|
|
2 |
P. Baker |
6 |
1 |
18 |
1 |
3.00 |
|
|
3 |
Hukins |
5 |
3 |
8 |
2 |
1.60 |
|
|
4 |
T. Baker |
7 |
0 |
45 |
3 |
6.43 |
|
|
5 |
Williams |
4 |
0 |
25 |
1 |
6.25 |
|
|
6 |
Smith |
3 |
0 |
19 |
1 |
6.33 |
|
|
MOTM: M. K. Reeves Champagne Moment: C. J. Vermaak’s huge
six over cow Buffet
Award: C. T. J. Williams’ sausage
casserole and puff mash MAD
Moment: I. Howarth’s botched run out
attempt from less than 10 yards |
Opposition:
V024 / 16 Ground: G040 / 75 Captain: C022 / 83 Match No: 35 / 175 |