“Se7en”

Match: 19 / 483

Won by 5 wkts

Team	Total
Headington Quarry CC	134 - 6
G. Timms 3 - 12, D. Shorten 2 - 11
FFTMCC	135 - 5
D. Shorten 30*, J. Webster 30*

Headington Quarry are a relatively new fixture for The MAD but have slotted into the fixture list quite seamlessly as they clearly enjoy the game, like to give the ball some humpty and don’t worry overly much about the fine details. This was a home game for the Quarry and obviously played at Stanton St John, which is also home of Cairns Fudge, although not of Stanton St John itself as far can be ascertained. The pavilion has recently been extended with the addition of several hundred acres of decking for some reason and the wicket remains an enigma wrapped in a cosy treelined field in the country.

“I’ll just take a photo of my soiled underwear over here.”

On a warm evening HQ began as they meant to continue as opener Jeffries slapped the first ball of the match quite literally through Timms at point, leaving a perfect, smoking, cricket ball shaped hole in our skipper’s gut before his lifeless body slumped and collapsed onto the turf.

This set the pattern for the main part of the HQ innings as a succession of beefy young blokes slapped, mashed, bashed and thumped their way to 110-1 from 13 overs, only a sharpish catch at gully by Russ Turner off Pops Williams allowing for a brief respite.

At this point HQ seemed ideally placed to put the game out of sight in the final thrash – 160 or 70 seemed very plausible. However, this would be to discount the inspired effect of bringing on Gary ‘Deathgrip’ Timms and Dave ‘Ouch’ Shorten. The last seven overs saw 5 wickets fall for just 24 runs as HQ basically ran out of batting. Aided by two stumpings for Hotson and a catch by Howarth, Timms (3-12) and Shorten (2-11) essentially retrieved the game back from an unwinnable situation.

Shorten, showing commendable durability, also went out to open the batting, and after losing Mike Reeves (0) to a rare first-baller, remarked to new partner Webster that his hamstrings were a touch tight. Inevitably, Webster immediately called Shorten for several threes before Dave’s razor-sharp mind realised that just biffing boundaries would a) save running and b) enable him to retire gracefully as he reached 30, Webster also retiring at the same score.

Mike wanders out to the middle for 1 ball.

While The MAD were exactly up with the run rate at 10 overs (67-1), we then slowed a little through the next 4 overs with retirements and the loss of Turner (2) and Walker (0) as the asking rate climbed to 54 runs off the final 6 overs.

Fate then, as it often does in cricket, intervened. One of the young HQ bowlers (J Glass), nippier and grumpier than his generally amiable colleagues had dug a couple of short ones in earlier and tried another one which was swatted by Pops for several. One of the bowler’s team mates then rather compounded this by swooping and flinging the ball for a boundary. Greater minds than ours might have struggled with the conundrum but it was generally agreed that 7 runs were the overall cost. The bowler then appeared to mislay some of his shit, fired in a head high beamer next ball and went for 21 in total off the over. This left 34 to get off the last 5 and a good contest in hand.

34 off 5 became 25 off 4. Pops became the third player to retire on exactly 30 and Geoff (0) went at 120-4 leaving us with 15 to get off 2. Pearson and Gary ran 4 singles off the first five balls of the 19th over. Despite what the IPL seems to suggest, more than ten off the final over is always difficult in midweek cricket. Fortunately, James had other ideas and muscled HQ for beautifully pulled six over midwicket to keep The MAD in it.

Then the useless bugger skied one off the 2nd ball of the final over from H Matthews. Out for 20 with 3 runs still needed off 4 balls, bringing in Ian Howarth. After a play and miss a wide to Timms seemed to settle things, but he then missed another before dropping his bat on the next and haring for a single to tie the scores – 1 still required off 1. Simples. Or it would be if Howarth’s season with the bat wasn’t remembered for such eye-wateringly low standards. All of a sudden, there was the very distinct possibility of a tie….

But it wasn’t as Spam lofted the ball over the head of mid off for a single, so we won!

This was a cracking game, fluctuating throughout, all three possible results still open at the very last ball, against very likeable opposition and all finished off with a couple of beers at The Talkhouse just down the road while the sun set spreadingly pink to the west. Sometimes it all just makes sense.

‘Mr Tulip’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Headington Quarry CC Played at Stanton St John, 28 May 2019 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to field Far from the MCC won by 5 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: n/a

19 / 483 20 over match

Team	Headington Quarry CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	D. Todd	retired	31		6	-
2	J. Jeffries	c Turner b Williams	20		3	-
3	J. Glass	retired	33		4	1
4	H. Matthews	retired	30		1	2
5	C. Homer	b Shorten	8		-	-
6	J. Carrick	st Hotson b Timms	0		-	-
7	K. Gallagher	st Hotson b Timms	0		-	-
8	A. Matthews *	c Howarth b Shorten	1		-	-
9	D. McArthur	b Timms	1		-	-
10	J. Fredrick †	not out	1		-	-	-
11	S. Matthews	not out	4		-	-	-
	Extras	NB2, LB3	5
	TOTAL	(for 6 wickets, 20 overs)	134

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Howarth	2	0	22	0	11.00
2	Williams	4	0	34	1	8.50
3	Reeves	4	0	25	0	6.25
4	Pearson	3	0	30	0	10.00
5	Timms	4	0	12	3	3.00
6	Shorten	3	0	11	2	3.67

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	D. Shorten	retired	30	(22)	5	-	-
2	M. K. Reeves	b Carrick	0	(1)	-	-	1-1
3	J. vdG. Webster	retired	30	(33)	4	-	-
4	B. E. L. Walker	c Fredrick b Glass	0	(8)	-	-	2-69
5	C. T. J. Williams	retired	30	(19)	3	-	-
6	R. P. Turner *	run out	2	(6)	-	-	3-78
7	J. W. Pearson	c Homer b H. Matthews	20	(19)	1	1	5-131
8	G. Carter	c Fredrick b H. Matthews	0	(5)	-	-	4-120
9	G. J. Timms	not out	4	(7)	-	-	-
10	I. Howarth	not out	1	(1)	-	-	-
11	J. C. W. Hotson †
	Extras	NB1,W12, LB4, B1	18
	TOTAL	(for 5 wickets, 20 overs)	135

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Carrick	4	0	25	1	6.25
2	McArthur	3	0	27	0	9.00
3	Todd	4	0	18	0	4.50
4	Glass	4	0	30	1	7.50
5	H. Matthews	3	0	16	2	5.33
6	S. Matthews	2	0	16	0	8.00
Note: D. Shorten retired at 53-1 (6.4 overs)
Note: J. vdG. Webster retired 69-1 (10.3 overs)
Note: C. T. J. Williams retired at 120-3 (17.1 overs)

MOTM: D. Shorten Champagne Moment: J. W. Pearson’s six in penultimate over Buffet Award: I. Howarth’s undercooked rump steak and crap fries MAD Moment: C. T. J. Williams scoring shot for 7

Opposition: V101 / 02 Ground: G009 / 07 Captain: C024 / 21 Match No: 20 / 128