“Turner Brings Team Home in Epic Run-Chase”

Match: 22 / 582

Won by 6 wkts

Team	Total
Islip CC	210 - 5
I. Howarth 2 - 25
FFTMCC	213 - 3
C. Williams 132*, L. Ainsworth 37

The visit of Islip would mark the final match of the season at home at Brasenose, thereafter it’s on the Oxon B-roads until the curtain comes down in Cassington. It doesn’t feel like it could or even should be the last home game, then again, these endless days of subterranean heat and Williams smacking the ball about blur into one to be honest. Remarkably the grass is still green, but that would be to dismiss the adjoining water table of the Thames. A couple of metres higher at adjoining Queens College and it is all desert, full of scorpions, lizards and rattlesnakes… or so Mr Gerber informs us. You see Dan bypassed our home pitch and his ten or so teammates tossing a ball about by the boundary and wandered onwards to sit there awaiting our arrival. There he sat, impassively amongst the coyotes and a few random men in whites for some thirty minutes. Eventually a penny dropped, and he retraced his steps. For the record: Dan is a good friend of Corne*, so no further explanations required here.

Brasenose is definitely not Queens.

In Ollie Black, Islip have a potent weapon. A robust chap who can give the ball a damn fair smack and a batter who you really don’t want to drop a half dozen times or so. This memo was presumed lost in the current postman strike, as he took full advantage of what one of their number generously described as “quite lamentable, an exhibition of fielding incompetence”. MAD skipper Turner was less diplomatic in describing it as “a complete shower of shite, fucking garbage.” Ollie’s 113 not out would arrive out of a total of 210-5, with Howarth’s 2-25 perhaps the pick out of not a lot. Timms did claim a 5-for, but these all ended up on the floor.

Tea intervals are often described and broken apart, so let’s instead discuss the game’s first drinks break. In the absence of anyone taking any ownership of this simple and basic task, The MAD were unsure if the cordial in the pavilion fridge was theirs to use or share [I mean, did we bring it or buy it? Complex questions these]. Either way they did use it, and either way they did share it, and in the absence of any plastic cups [blame Mike here]… wine glasses, chipped flutes and the odd discoloured pint glass were commandeered to distribute the liquid. In essence, this 5-10 minute period of embarrassing ineptitude could go hand-in-hand with the fielding display outside.

Williams enjoying a purplely purple patch with the bat.

With an absentee list as worryingly long as the current Tory Leadership contest, Islip took to the field with their nine available players and a reluctant MAD substitute [thanks to Russ, Emerson and Mr Gerber]. Out of the nine visitors who did show up, a third were probably of Geoff Carter’s age and a third of Blake Ainsworth’s age [read OAPs and infants]. It wasn’t even close and nor should it have been, as the left-right combo of Daddies Ainsworth (37) and Williams stuck 88 on in just shy of 11 overs.

Hadfield (5) and Gerber (1) would go cheaply, before Mr Shorten crunched 28 not out in not as many balls. At the other end, Williams was still swatting his merry way to his second consecutive Sunday ton and a 132 in total [off not a lot of balls]. He was eventually caught at the deep long off boundary by a spectacular running catch by R Hambridge, a catch so good it really didn’t belong to this day. All that was left was for Turner to bring a victorious team home with a typically defiant 0* off 0 balls [MAD win by 6 wickets].

You would think a MAD victory after a 200 plus run chase and a MAD centurion would be cause for fireworks and an open-top bus parade, but somehow this day felt slightly anticlimactic. Mr Black aside, this was a poor Islip team and a contest effectively over after the first ten or so overs of The MAD reply. It wasn’t Mr Williams’ fault, you simply whack what’s in front of you, but it was Geoff’s** fault naturally.

So, that’s it, folks. Time to hit the road, Jack. Brasenose is closed for business and our home cricket season is over.

* - Corne has previous when it comes to travelling to random grounds and/or post codes.

** - Receives the blame for anything/everything regardless of culpability.

‘Two Fer’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far From the MCC versus Islip CC Played at Brasenose College, 21 August 2022 Islip CC won the toss and elected to bat Far From the MCC won by 6 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: n/a

22 / 582 35 over match

Team	Islip CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	D. Goodfellow	c Harris b Howarth	3		-	-	1-11
2	R. Hambridge	b Howarth	7		1	-	2-23
3	O. Black *†	not out	113		17	-	-
4	K. Crawford	b Shorten	18		2	-	3-101
5	H. Brock †	lbw b Timms	33		2	1	4-178
6	G. Roper	lbw b Ainsworth	9		1	-	5-199
7	W. Goodfellow	not out	4		1	-	-
8	R. Henshaw
9	S. Nelson
10
11
	Extras	NB2, W8, LB2, B12	23
	TOTAL	(for 5 wickets, 35 overs)	210

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Emerson	5	0	34	0	6.80
2	Howarth	7	2	25	2	3.57
3	Shorten	7	0	37	1	5.29
4	Harris	7	0	43	0	6.14
5	Timms	6	0	42	1	7.00
6	Ainsworth	3	0	14	1	4.67

Team	Far From the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	C. T. J. Williams	c Hambridge b D. Goodfellow	132	(72)	25	-	4-205
2	L. G. Ainsworth	lbw b Hambridge	37	(38)	4	-	1-88
3	R. J. T. Hadfield	c Crawford b Hambridge	5	(7)	1	-	2-98
4	D. Gerber	c sub (Emerson) b Roper	1	(6)	-	-	3-143
5	D. Shorten	not out	28	(26)	5	-	-
6	R. P. Turner *	not out	0	(0)	-	-	-
7	J. Harris
8	G. J. Timms
9	I. Howarth
10	D. Emerson
11	G. Carter †
	Extras	W4, LB3, B3	10
	TOTAL	(for 4 wickets, 24.5 overs)	213

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Hambridge	7	1	47	2	6.71
2	Brock	7	0	65	0	9.29
3	Roper	5	1	38	1	7.60
4	Nelson	3	0	28	0	9.33
5	W. Goodfellow	2	0	22	0	11.00
6	D. Goodfellow	0.5	0	8	1	9.60
Note: O. Black kept wicket for overs 1-14, H. Brock thereafter

MOTM: C. T. J. Williams Champagne Moment: J. Harris’ sprawling catch at square leg Buffet Award: G. J. Timms’ Bateman-leaving barbeque (chip sides) MAD Moment: D. Gerber walking past team mates to arrive at wrong ground

Opposition: V0 / 00 Ground: G000 / 00 Captain: C00 / 00 Match No: 00 / 000