“Webster Oversees MAD Tragedy”
Match: 22
/ 570
Lost
by 55 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Ipsden CC |
201 - 4 |
|
J. Pearson
1 - 15 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
146 |
|
C. Williams
70, J. Bateman 30 |
|
|
Following on from last
weekend’s nail-biting, 1 run victory over perennial rivals the OUP, it was
back to more traditional values whereby great expectations are often doused
in petrol and left to burn inside Dan’s skip by the Brasenose pavilion. Ian
Howarth missed last week delighting in the latest variant of Covid but did
‘enjoy’ this one.
Matches v FFTMCC are always a fan favourite. Skipper Turner used to
be famous for winning the toss of a coin, but he’s now famous for losing it
and explaining he would have made the exact decision to do what the
opposition just demanded had he won it. Mr Timms was also crap
at coin tossing, but realised it was far easier (and less embarrassing) to
simply front up and say “sorry, lads … I’m just pretty shit
at it.” Put out to field in
*Death Valley with soaked caps and sunhats (copyright Moo), Reeves (4-0-9-0) and
Howarth (4-0-13-0) were A-plus in doing nothing special with the ball, the
latter having Hoskins put down a sharp catch at point by explaining it away
as “[he] hadn’t realised the game had started.” Pearson (5-0-15-1) would make
the initial breakthrough when Hyde (14) decided only to himself to slap a
half-tracker at Vermaak (awake) at square leg. Thereafter, nothing comes to
mind other Hoskins (7-1-32-0) bakery opening up to poor returns, and several
drink breaks being smashed every 10 or so overs.
Mike would later a hit a ball and then enrol
himself in the Club’s EBI section on this website. Vermaak (6-0-31-1) was
next to taste success, bowling one straight, before Turner, cat-like in the
covers, swooped to throw down the stumps and have Charlie Cox gone for a
diamond (at least it was Charlie’s call in this case, so no other fucker to blame). The tempo of the innings would then
increase with Church (72*) and Bhatt (34) employing 2nd, 3rd and 4th gear,
before Mr Houseman used his considerable frame to move into 9th gear and clump
35* off 15 balls at the death. During this final phase of pyrotechnics,
Timms’ (6-0-55-0) was unlucky to see his buffet stolen by Williams
(3-0-29-1), the latter having one hit so far in the direction of the Thames
it really should have been classed as a ten. 201-4 and everyone from The MAD
side of the wall really bloody tired. Teas were good (I am
told) and largely consumed inside the pavilion to escape the heat. Ian
Howarth didn’t eat much, as most of it was gone after he’d copied the
scorebook. Russ, however, did say his second helping to be much better than
his first. In reply, Mr Bateman
(30) continued his recent good form ably partnered by Williams (70) who had a
bus to catch. A shame the former forgot to wear a hat and started making
inexplicable decisions and a shame the latter couldn’t see the job home and
save the rest of the team’s shitshow having to bat (Turner a duck, Timms 2).
Bateman and Williams discuss the pitfalls of
exposing batters 3-11. To be fair, the game was
turned on it’s head with the introduction of Houseman (3.3-0-5-5), who
morphed from ball smasher to stump smasher this time around, employing a
cocktail of spin and military medium to rip the arse
off a total at one point that advertised 110-2. Amongst this melancholic
tragedy, Pearson (3) bemused himself with whatever he was trying to do, Jake
(0) said hello, Howarth (6.4.1) displayed catastrophic impatience, Reeves
(14) clubbed a few and then found it was his turn to face Houseman, and of
course Mr Hoskins applied the final veneer of turd
by going for a golden. This left Vermaak (2) to try an alternative method of
getting out by facing someone else. That this whole landslide of batting shite occurred as soon as Webster rocked up to score and
grumble about his fuckered knees was lost on nobody. Ipsden win by 55 runs. MAD
all out off 28.3 overs and not the 29.3 overs scribbled into the book by someone
who struggles with his maths.
Even Einstein (right) could add the scores
together of the two guys sat to our left. With nobody the wiser as
to whether the Queens bar was open, closed, shelled
or burnt in the July heat, both teams trapsed off to the familiar
surroundings of the White House pub. Also known as the Folly Bridge and/or
Tap Social, this reimagining now features a collapsed ceiling to woo its
punters and random musicians every Sunday. We’ve tasted the jazz, this time
it was Irish folk music … or something that requires way too many people being
clever on way too many instruments to look smug about being Irish. That’s pretty much all
she wrote other than Howarth leaving his stomach contents back at the ground
after the effects of fucking heat exposure. * - nom de guerre first
used by Mr Timms to recognise the intense cauldron now experienced at
Brasenose (circa summer 2022) ‘V. Omit’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far From the MCC versus Ipsden CC Played at Brasenose College, 17 July
2022 Ipsden CC won the toss and elected to
bat Ipsden CC won by 55 runs Far from the MCC debuts: n/a |
22 / 570 35 over match |
|
Team |
Ipsden CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. Hyde |
c Vermaak b Pearson |
14 |
(43) |
2 |
- |
1-31 |
|
2 |
J. Church |
not out |
72 |
(91) |
11 |
1 |
- |
|
3 |
S. Bennett |
b Vermaak |
24 |
(28) |
2 |
- |
2-75 |
|
4 |
C. Cox † |
run out (Turner) |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
3-78 |
|
5 |
J. Bhatt |
c Vermaak b Williams |
34 |
(32) |
6 |
- |
4-154 |
|
6 |
D. Houseman * |
not out |
35 |
(15) |
4 |
2 |
- |
|
7 |
I. Syed |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
A. Haycock |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
W. Simpson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
J. Fanstone |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
M. Hughesdon |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB1, W5, LB3, B13 |
22 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 35 overs) |
201 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Reeves |
4 |
1 |
9 |
0 |
2.25 |
|
|
2 |
Howarth |
4 |
0 |
13 |
0 |
3.25 |
|
|
3 |
Pearson |
5 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
3.00 |
|
|
4 |
Hoskins |
7 |
1 |
32 |
0 |
4.57 |
|
|
5 |
Vermaak |
6 |
0 |
31 |
1 |
5.17 |
|
|
6 |
Timms |
6 |
0 |
55 |
0 |
9.17 |
|
|
7 |
Williams |
3 |
0 |
29 |
1 |
9.67 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. C. Bateman |
c Houseman b Syed |
30 |
(46) |
5 |
- |
1-84 |
|
2 |
C. T. J. Williams |
c Fanstone b Simpson |
70 |
(59) |
13 |
- |
3-110 |
|
3 |
R. P. Turner * |
b Haycock |
0 |
(4) |
- |
- |
2-85 |
|
4 |
J. W. Pearson |
b Houseman |
3 |
(16) |
- |
- |
4-115 |
|
5 |
G. J. Timms |
c Houseman b Simpson |
2 |
(6) |
- |
- |
6-115 |
|
6 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
b Houseman |
0 |
(3) |
- |
- |
5-115 |
|
7 |
I. Howarth |
b Houseman |
11 |
(19) |
1 |
1 |
7-127 |
|
8 |
M. K. Reeves |
b Houseman |
14 |
(14) |
3 |
- |
10-146 |
|
9 |
J. D. Hoskins |
c Cox b Houseman |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
8-127 |
|
10 |
C. J. Vermaak |
c Hyde b Hughesdon |
2 |
(5) |
- |
- |
9-146 |
|
11 |
G. Carter † |
not out |
0 |
(5) |
- |
- |
- |
|
|
Extras |
NB1, W7, LB1, B5 |
14 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 29.3 overs) |
146 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Fanstone |
5 |
0 |
25 |
0 |
5.00 |
|
|
2 |
Hughesdon |
6 |
2 |
21 |
1 |
3.50 |
|
|
3 |
Syed |
5 |
0 |
35 |
1 |
7.00 |
|
|
4 |
Haycock |
5 |
0 |
22 |
1 |
4.40 |
|
|
5 |
Simpson |
4 |
0 |
33 |
2 |
8.25 |
|
|
6 |
Houseman |
4.3 |
1 |
5 |
5 |
1.11 |
|
|
MOTM: C. T. J. Williams Champagne Moment: R. P. Turner’s
spectacular direct run out Buffet Award: C. T. J. Williams’ undercooked fillet steak (food poisoning) MAD
Moment: C. T. J. Williams’ run out
debacle when stood next to stumps |
Opposition:
V0115 / 02 Ground: G040 / 89 Captain: C024 / 62 Match No: 35 / 210 |