“Third Time Lucky (Or Not)”
Match: 22
/ 571
Lost
by 6 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
105 - 9 |
|
C. Williams
30*, L. Ainsworth 17 |
|
|
|
|
|
Headington Quarry CC |
106 - 4 |
|
M. Reeves
2 - 15, L. Ainsworth 1 - 7 |
|
|
It would take a third time
of asking for the UK’s finest pub team to have their much-lauded
(and loved) cricketing all-rounder to finally return to the fold. Hampered by
crappy weather, crappy availability and all things
crap, his date with destiny had thus far been blighted. In fact, he wouldn’t
have known as such, but an administerial oversight over dates and grounds had
this one in peril too. Thankfully, and mercifully we played. Considering his length
of absence, it was effortless for Mr Ainsworth to ease back in with that
composed and languid batting (17), rhythmic twirling of the ball (1-7), cynical
muttering under his breath, and of course, the return of that mischievous grin
and twinkle to his eye with Howarth bagging a golden. This evening would be a
celebration regardless of result (thank fuck) – and
a very lovely to see you back out there, dude!
Flanked by mediocrity, Ainsworth (left) sporting
that sarcastic grin. Nothing much has
happened in the intervening years since Lee last strayed wide of league
cricket (and accidentally dipping his toes into the very ridiculous world of village
cricket). The team had gotten older, Moo’s kids are now taller than him (and
infinitely fucking better), Timms has resigned to go raving in Somerset, Mike
still counts the beans and takes holidays with club money, Rundle played dead
and had everyone fooled, Geoff got a telegram from Elizabeth, Jake was
victorious in court settling a law suit regarding the club’s previous web
incarnation, a little known pandemic killed off Russ’ demolition of teas,
Darley has finally ended a barren run with the bat akin to humans landing on
Mars, Pearson still appears half asleep but managed to sire some kids, Emerson
still thinks the AB’s are going to win RWC, Paddy plays one game every two
years to remain among The MAD’s current roster of ‘Present Players’, Matt
still massages the stats and drinks for England, Thorn still crops up and
sells signed cricket balls for riches, JMO has skipped Hungerford after
reading about some alleged massacre, Corne is still building his house he
started in the last millennium, Jan still can’t add up properly in the
scorebook, but he is now a published author, Williams still rooms above his
dad, and Howarth still bangs on about anyone and everything not that anyone
fucking listens. We also did a Tour to Brighton too, that was fun, Lego had a
slog to end all slogs because he was the only one sober, Bob needed stitching
back together and Salad just … drank. To be honest, nothing really has changed,
Lee… nothing. Oh, other than Lucan becoming less fictional and more
non-fictional, along with that other ghost from the past, Mr Harris. Nope, fuck all has changed and thank fuck for that. [Apologies
to anyone missing amongst this diatribe, [un]luckier next time].
Williams and Bateman would decide to collide in
all the great wisdom (MAD Moment). Batting first because
they couldn’t be arsed chasing 300 plus, The MAD
were fuelled by a cavalier 30 ret from Williams who opened up. There were
further contributions from the chap mentioned at the top of this report and
some late swipes from Turner (11*) and Reeves (14*). Most of everyone else
was shit, with Howarth the shittest.
105-7 was probably sub-par but definitely completely sub-par. Whatever, at
least we were not the team who stood out in the incessant rain for around 20
minutes looking hangdog. Defending the total
perhaps surprised even the most optimistic, until it failed … with good
spells from everyone and some more than alert fielding (bar Howarth). Reeves
(2-15) was maybe the pick of the bowling, Timms (1-11) returning to something
like his best and that Ainsworth chap looking like he’d never really been
away (1-7). It was all very positively energetic until Williams was thrown
the ball at the death and the team wishing he really hadn’t been. “I can’t
bowl with a wet piece of shit, and actually, I don’t like shiny balls
either….” [sigh] Thus, the Quarry Boys ultimately
timed their run chase just about right, with the young Hoff (19*) showcasing
the type of pedigree that Lee would instantly recognise: patient, fluent and
actually quite talented. Some whacks and biffs here and there, game over.
Trapsing off after scoring 17 more than Howarth. The Folly Bridge would
be busy for the usual post-match pint, with most and all of the regulars
believing it to the White House. Those in the know of course call it the Tap
Social. All of this is nonsense of course, it will always simply be known as “the
pub across the road”, whatever its incarnation, and Lee will always be one of
our own. Great to see you, pal. Looking good. ‘Gary Olden’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far From the MCC versus Headington
Quarry CC Played at Brasenose College, 20 July
2022 Far From the MCC won the toss and
elected to bat Headington Quarry CC won by 6 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: n/a |
22 / 571 20 over match |
|
Team |
Far From the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
C. T. J. Williams |
retired |
30 |
(17) |
5 |
1 |
- |
|
2 |
J. C. Bateman |
b Todd |
7 |
(13) |
1 |
- |
1-37 |
|
3 |
G. Carter † |
b H. Matthews |
13 |
(22) |
2 |
- |
2-65 |
|
4 |
L. G. Ainsworth |
c Todd b Selfy |
17 |
(20) |
2 |
- |
6-73 |
|
5 |
G. J. Timms |
b Hoff |
1 |
(3) |
- |
- |
3-66 |
|
6 |
M. Bullock † |
b Khan |
1 |
(4) |
- |
- |
4-69 |
|
7 |
I. Howarth |
b Khan |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
5-69 |
|
8 |
R. P. Turner * |
not out |
11 |
(18) |
- |
- |
- |
|
9 |
J. W. Pearson |
run out (H. Matthews) |
2 |
(4) |
- |
- |
7-80 |
|
10 |
M. K. Reeves |
not out |
14 |
(18) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
11 |
C. J. Vermaak |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
W5, LB3, B1 |
9 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 7 wickets, 20 overs) |
105 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
S. Matthews |
2 |
0 |
27 |
0 |
13.50 |
|
|
2 |
Oliver |
2 |
0 |
3 |
0 |
1.50 |
|
|
3 |
Todd |
2 |
0 |
10 |
1 |
5.00 |
|
|
4 |
George |
2 |
1 |
10 |
0 |
5.00 |
|
|
5 |
H. Matthews |
2 |
0 |
13 |
1 |
6.50 |
|
|
6 |
Hoff |
2 |
0 |
4 |
1 |
2.00 |
|
|
7 |
Khan |
2 |
0 |
6 |
2 |
3.00 |
|
|
8 |
Selfy |
2 |
0 |
11 |
1 |
5.50 |
|
|
9 |
Jeffries |
2 |
0 |
12 |
0 |
6.00 |
|
|
10 |
A. Matthews |
2 |
0 |
7 |
0 |
3.50 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: C. T. J. Williams retired at 37-1 (5.0) |
|
||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Headington Quarry CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. Jeffries |
b Reeves |
24 |
(27) |
2 |
- |
1-42 |
|
2 |
A. Matthews * |
b Reeves |
15 |
(27) |
2 |
- |
3-47 |
|
3 |
H. Matthews |
b Timms |
3 |
(5) |
- |
- |
2-45 |
|
4 |
T. Hoff |
not out |
19 |
(22) |
- |
- |
- |
|
5 |
A. Selfy |
b Ainsworth |
5 |
(11) |
- |
- |
4-60 |
|
6 |
S. Khan |
not out |
26 |
(16) |
3 |
1 |
- |
|
7 |
J. Todd |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
R. Oliver |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
S. Matthews |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
B. George |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
J. Frederick † |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
W10, LB1, B3 |
14 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 18 overs) |
106 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Howarth |
3 |
0 |
8 |
0 |
2.67 |
|
|
2 |
Pearson |
3 |
0 |
17 |
0 |
5.67 |
|
|
3 |
Reeves |
3 |
0 |
15 |
2 |
5.00 |
|
|
4 |
Timms |
3 |
0 |
11 |
1 |
3.67 |
|
|
5 |
Vermaak |
3 |
0 |
23 |
0 |
7.67 |
|
|
6 |
Ainsworth |
2 |
0 |
7 |
1 |
3.50 |
|
|
7 |
Williams |
1 |
0 |
19 |
0 |
19.00 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: M. Bullock kept wicket for 9.4 overs, G.
Carter thereafter |
|
||||||
|
MOTM: M. K. Reeves Champagne Moment: L. G. Ainsworth Buffet Award: C. T. J. Williams’ out-of-date beans on burnt toast (no butter) MAD
Moment: C. T. J. Williams and J. C.
Bateman’s mid-pitch collision (batting) |
Opposition:
V101 / 06 Ground: G040 / 90 Captain: C024 / 63 Match No: 20 / 165 |