“I was There (Unfortunately)”

Match: 22 / 573

Lost by 46 runs

Team	Total
Great Beardon CC	153 - 7
J. Bateman 1 - 5
FFTMCC	107 - 6
R. Turner 31*, L. Ainsworth 19

Tour is just around the corner and even closer than it was yesterday funnily enough, and as a gentle reminder of that, The MAD were this evening playing another set of Tourers (and not Touretter’s). This particular team have a great backstory would you know, and since most people won’t be arsed to [click] backwards and forwards to the match ramble dated July 26, 2021 … here is a gentle reminder:

Great Beardon is of course a shortened anagram of ‘to be rearranged’, a term used by Mike Ashton of Barry Wanderers CC, a club whom several of the current team used to play for. Sadly, Mike passed away a few years ago, and so the club was rebranded in honour of a wonderful man who played some 1,700 matches [and counting]. Here’s to you, Mike…

Losing the toss (again) whilst also adhering to tour etiquette, Mr Turner shook hands with his counterpart before watching Beardon’s reverse batting order pile up 153-7 without breaking a sweat. This sun blessed innings began slowly with Centurion Bateman (1-5) getting to bowl some mediocre truffles at the upper lower order, thereon it got progressively more difficult as the dots became ones, ones became twos, twos became threes, threes became fours and then Howarth obligingly helped fours into sixes.

During the last few overs of batting mayhem, Line (26) and S Crispin (24*) tucked into some eclairs from Timms (econ 8.5), marshmallows from Harris (econ 14.0) and fudge cake from Ainsworth (econ 16.0). However, it is worth noting that Lee only received the buffet award on account of Spam dropping his penultimate ball over the long off boundary for six. He was really thrilled.

Recording all the tonking, here Matt (seated left) stares the camera down.

In reply and under darkening skies with persistent drizzle, The MAD launched their counterattack by seeing the Westmoreland Boys open up and bag a pair of ducks. Don’t worry about this lads, you are in very exultant MAD company and a small group of people your dad would only be too acutely aware of! [giggle from editor]

The Westmoreland Bros lowering their standards to play for The MAD.

Turner (31*) offered some stoic resistance with Shorten (19*) clubbing a few at the death, but overall, the tourists held sway throughout by being considerably younger, universally fitter, breathtakingly more energetic and, well… simply better and more dynamic on all levels. If this was football, which it wasn’t, it would be like Man City playing some rabble from the Counties Leagues.

Before people buggered off to enjoy an increasingly brighter Oxford evening, drinks and banter were had at the Folly White Social Tavern before the (final) MAD Tour party to the Isle of Wight would be announced….

The FFTMCC 2022 Tour squad in full:

James ‘Soon to bugger off Down Under’ Bateman

Matt ‘I’ve (still) got plenty of drinking to catch up on!’ Bullock
Geoff ‘Telegram from the Queen’ Carter
Andy ‘Catastrophic gardening injuries’ Darley

David ‘AB’ Emerson
JMO ‘Pizza creator and overly upbeat gambling addict’ Hoskins
Jake ‘Kettles and Key-code Disasters’ Hotson
Ian ‘Skittle Alley and Dietary King’ Howarth
Mike ‘San Francisco high-flier’ Reeves
Mark ‘Don’t knock death until you’ve tried it’ Rundle
Dave ‘I own a swimming pool and a mansion you know’ Shorten
Gary ‘Somerset Raver and Karaoke King’ Timms
Russ ‘Being Skipper this year has been really fucking shite’ Turner

Jan ‘Oxford Gangsta and published author’ Webster

Chris ‘Many kids and no cash ever period’ Williams

‘Saga Holidays’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far From the MCC versus Great Beardon CC Played at Brasenose College, 25 July 2022 Great Beardon CC won the toss and elected to bat Great Beardon CC won by 46 runs Far from the MCC debuts: n/a

22 / 573 20 over match

Team	Great Beardon CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	P. Frame	c Turner b Bateman	0	(2)	-	-	1-0
2	L. Harris *	b Shorten	19	(24)	2	-	2-37
3	J. Keir	retired	33	(34)	5	-	-
4	J. Hassett	retired	31	(26)	-	2	-
5	A. Holloway †	b Hoskins	4	(4)	1	-	3-66
6	I. Crispin	run out (Harris/Timms)	5	(3)	1	-	4-76
7	A. Haines	run out (D. Westmoreland/J. Westmoreland)	2	(6)	-	-	5-80
8	B. Line	c Shorten b Harris	26	(11)	1	2	6-115
9	S. Crispin	not out	24	(8)	-	3	-
10	D. Rickard	run out (J. Westmoreland)	1	(3)	-	-	7-153
11	C. Taylor
		NB1, W1, LB1, B5	8
	TOTAL	(for 7 wickets, 20 overs)	153

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Bateman	3	1	5	1	1.67
2	Howarth	2	0	16	0	8.00
3	Shorten	4	0	21	1	5.25
4	D. Westmoreland	3	0	17	0	5.67
5	Hoskins	3	0	25	1	8.33
6	Timms	2	0	17	0	8.50
7	Harris	1	0	14	1	14.00
8	Ainsworth	2	0	32	0	16.00
Note: J. Keir retired at 61-2 (10.5) and J. Hassett at 137-6 (18.4)

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	J. A. H. Westmoreland †	c and b Taylor	0	(2)	-	-	1-0
2	D. J. H. Westmoreland	b Taylor	0	(9)	-	-	3-13
3	J. Harris	b Haines	6	(5)	1	-	2-7
4	G. J. Timms	lbw b Taylor	17	(20)	3	-	5-30
5	J. D. Hoskins	c Holloway b Rickard	2	(3)	-	-	4-20
6	L. G. Ainsworth	c Harris b Hassett	19	(20)	2	-	6-80
7	R. P. Turner *	retired	31	(51)	2	-	-
8	D. Shorten	not out	19	(11)	4	-	-
9	J. C. Bateman	not out	1	(1)	-	-	-
10	G. Carter
11	I. Howarth
	Extras	NB2, W4, LB3, B2	12
	TOTAL	(for 6 wickets, 20 overs)	107

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Taylor	4	0	21	3	5.25
2	Haines	4	1	15	1	3.75
3	Rickard	4	0	18	1	4.50
4	S. Crispin	3	0	8	0	2.67
5	Frame	2	0	21	0	10.50
6	Hassett	2	0	6	1	3.00
7	Harris	1	0	12	0	12.00
Note: R. P. Turner retired at 100-6 (19.2)

MOTM: D. Shorten Champagne Moment: J. D. Hoskins’ slower looped pie (bowled) Buffet Award: L. G. Ainsworth’s banquet spread of chicken mayo buns (seeded) MAD Moment: I. Howarth’s dropping a ball for six (extra yardage)

Opposition: V120 / 02 Ground: G040 / 92 Captain: C024 / 65 Match No: 20 / 166