“Weekend Washout
As MAD Still Find Time for a Beating”
Match: 23
/ 605
Lost
by 10 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
69 - 9 |
|
M. Rundle
22*, A. Darley 11 |
|
|
|
|
|
Felixstowe CC |
75 - 0 |
|
|
|
|
After a day of
torrential downpours and cases of trench foot, it was suddenly time to wave
goodbye to Ipswich’s hybrid landscape of pubs, medieval churches, marina
high-rises and of course the local Wetherspoons and it’s individually
designed carpet, aptly named The Cricketers … or should that have read The Hazy
Hangover?
Since returning from
Battisford late on Friday evening via an unroadworthy minibus, the town had
become our home, split as we were between the Premier Inn and the other hotel
where you had to sleep standing up and dogs barked every hour in a
neighbouring cell. The ‘other hotel’ also had the additional extra of a nice
early morning fire alarm to serenade anyone wishing to vape in their room. Memories of Friday night
are sketchy at best, at least to the person typing out that this shite, and one remembers getting told off in a pub for
swearing loudly playing Shut The Box (as you do). This mathematically intense
game involving a wooden box, numbers 1-9 and a pair
of dice (or one) now seems symbolic of everywhere we went and didn’t go, but particularly
where we did go. There was also a late-night
cocktail bar split into two, whereby if you entered the correct side, you
could better enjoy a decent pint of ale and/or cider. However, not being able
to differentiate this simple conundrum when drunk and therefore entering the
‘other’ side, meant you received a body search to quaff exotic sounding
cocktails, glasses of prosecco and expensive gins, all for roughly the same
cost as your stay in Ipswich. The upside was some fit ladies cavorting on a
small dancefloor to some groovy beats.
Aah, Saturday … and how
it delivered on its promise of being truly fucking dreadful
when it came to the weather. It truly pissed it
down. ALL BLOODY DAY. So, with the match against Bures CC cancelled, much of
the day would branch out between different pools of players doing different
things at different times and texting a WhatsApp group to inform people of
where they thought they were, what they thought they were doing and rarely
completing on any of this due to (a) the weather (b) being pissed (c)
forgetting they had already committed to doing something else (so probably
pissed then). There were notable success
stories however, such as making the cinema to watch Mission Very Possible
XXIV, visiting the famous Christchurch Mansion to see some paintings by John
Constable, visiting Sutton Hoo to take in some Anglo-Saxon history and
exhibits, and then of course there was The Margaret Catchpole pub… which
proved a told disaster for all those who ventured there without taking a bus
(of which there were several morons).
With the late afternoon
descending into a blurred voyage to join Oliver Reid, ten pin bowling never
happened, but at least some provisional bookings buggered
it up for others. There was of course more Shut The Box, more pubs, yet more
pubs, but unfortunately ones that weren’t showing the rugby for Mr Cartwright
or Owen Farrell’s sending off which wasn’t actually a sending off at all (as
it transpired), merely just a tad clumsy tackle by only half decapitating
Taine Basham (Taliban approved). The obligatory evening curry
at the Dhaka was most definitely a success story, in that the team did
actually arrive at the correct venue en masse (Ipswich) and not Dhaka in
Bangladesh or head to Saudi Arabia for the Paris Dakar rally. From what can
be remembered (by this scribe), the food was excellent on the whole, with
Joe’s singing a lovely highlight of the evening. There would then follow some
more drinking and Shut The Box, with Spam departing at time unknown to be
swallowed up by the night’s elements somewhere in town….
Thankfully, mercifully,
by Sunday much of the rain had stopped, much akin to the chip and pin card
readers in Wetherspoons. Those with a savvy disposition used the pub app to
order their hair of the dog, those without begged for help. Thus, it was the team
travelled onwards in the opposite way to Oxfordshire and further east to
Felixstowe, to finally see the sea and breathe in fresh air, while wasting away
the morning playing Fantasia crazy golf. Mr Hoskins would (allegedly) shoot a
24 to take the honours, while others would find yesterday’s clothing drying
out nicely in a sharp coastal breeze.
The ground of Felixstowe
CC isn’t far from the seafront, last visited by Team MAD back in 2018, if
indeed you can believe five whole years have elapsed since then. Back before
anyone caught Chinese flu or withered away in the company of their own in an
isolated bedsit, The MAD got humped despite a helping hand from a Mr
Lawrenson. Matthew (as he was) would go on to smash a cavalier 32* off just 11
balls and became player number 150 for the club, and it’s a great shame he
never guested for us on this day, because he might well have Tippexed over
the resultant scoreline to give it a modicum of respectability. Batting first after winning
the toss, Captain Darley watched and then joined in a shambolic effort which would
realise a paltry 69 runs spread out over a turgid 25 overs in total. On an
interesting wicket absorbing further flurries of rain, the hosts opted for
the groundbreaking decision of bowling a decent line and length. Most of
everyone from The MAD team heard the chink of bails as they wafted carefree,
save for the Williams family who decided instead to spoon the ball in the air
to a waiting pair of hands. Exceptions to this gross ineptitude were Mr
Rundle v2.0 (22*) who applied himself diligently in scoring almost a third of
the team’s total, and of course Geoff, who tried an over of Geoffball (0* off
5 balls) in attempt to claw back the situation. Pick of the Felixstowe
bowling was everyone who had a bowl to be fair.
Geoff showcasing some Geoffball as was a few days
before at Battisford. In defence of this
seismic and thoroughly intimidating total, Mr Hoskins (2-0-25-0) carefully
manoeuvred an off-side heavy field, before throwing some shit
down leg. A few others tried their arm unsuccessfully with a frenetic
Felixstowe run chase only checked by two retirees (Cloud 26*, H. Hitchen 27*).
Ultimately and rather appropriately, the match would be concluded when young
Kaito Williams (1.1-0-12-0) saw a head high beamer whalloped over long leg
for six. It could be concluded that the tourists were overly tired following
their weekend exertions, but also concluded that they were largely very crap. As a footnote, Gary did some nice scoring and Spam
did some lazy umpiring. We thank Felixstowe for
their generous hospitality and post-match barbeque, and also for their sometimes-excellent
understanding and banter on the field. In some regards, I guess their
sympathetic awareness could be compared to caring for and feeding a three-legged
pit pony it’s last meal, before finally putting it out of its misery and shooting
it dead. And that was that. Tour
all over for another year. It should be noted that if ever these lovely
people need reciprocating in Oxfordshire, we will endeavour to do our very
best. Slowly, reflectively, a
convoy of vehicles set forth on their odyssey back home. We will return some
day. Gentlemen, it has been
both a pleasure and an honour.
’Good Will Soaking’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far From the MCC versus Felixstowe &
Corinthians CC Played at Felixstowe, 6 August 2023 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to bat Felixstowe & Corinthians CC won by 10 wkts
Far from the MCC debuts: n/a |
23 / 605 25 over match |
|
Team |
Far From the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
C. T. J.
Williams |
c & b Metzler |
5 |
(11) |
- |
- |
1-6 |
|
2 |
R. J. T.
Hadfield |
b Metzler |
2 |
(11) |
- |
- |
2-9 |
|
3 |
A.
Darley * |
b C. Hitchen |
11 |
(13) |
2 |
- |
3-17 |
|
4 |
K.
Kawada-Williams |
c C.
Hitchen b Shipley |
2 |
(8) |
- |
- |
4-24 |
|
5 |
J. C. W.
Hotson |
b Sheldrake |
6 |
(33) |
- |
- |
5-32 |
|
6 |
M. K.
Reeves |
b C. Hitchen |
6 |
(20) |
1 |
- |
6-42 |
|
7 |
M. S.
Rundle |
not out |
22 |
(30) |
2 |
- |
7-48 |
|
8 |
J. D.
Hoskins |
b Sheldrake |
0 |
(5) |
- |
- |
8-59 |
|
9 |
J. vdG.
Webster |
b Shipley |
7 |
(11) |
1 |
- |
9-60 |
|
10 |
M.
Bullock |
b Burrows |
1 |
(4) |
- |
- |
|
|
11 |
G.
Carter † |
not out |
0 |
(5) |
- |
- |
|
|
|
Extras |
NB1, W5, B1 |
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 9 wickets, 25 overs) |
69 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Metzler |
4 |
1 |
11 |
2 |
2.75 |
|
|
2 |
Burrows |
4 |
1 |
9 |
1 |
2.25 |
|
|
3 |
Shipley |
4 |
1 |
9 |
2 |
2.25 |
|
|
4 |
C.
Hitchen |
4 |
1 |
12 |
2 |
3.00 |
|
|
5 |
Burrows |
5 |
1 |
21 |
0 |
4.20 |
|
|
6 |
Sheldrake |
4 |
1 |
6 |
2 |
1.50 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Felixstowe & Corinthians CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
F. Cloud
+ |
retired |
26 |
(13) |
3 |
- |
|
|
2 |
H.
Hitchen |
retired |
27 |
(22) |
3 |
- |
|
|
3 |
M. Flecknoe |
not out |
15 |
(20) |
1 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
L.
Gregory |
not out |
4 |
(6) |
- |
- |
|
|
5 |
A.
Sheldrake |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
D.
Burrows |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
C.
Hitchen |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J.
Shipley |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
J.
Burrows * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
G.
Metzler |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
W3 |
3 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 0 wickets, 10.1 overs) |
75 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Hoskins |
2 |
0 |
25 |
0 |
12.50 |
|
|
2 |
Darley |
2 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
5.50 |
|
|
3 |
Reeves |
2 |
0 |
9 |
0 |
4.50 |
|
|
4 |
Rundle |
2 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
5.50 |
|
|
5 |
Kawada-Williams |
1.1 |
0 |
12 |
0 |
10.29 |
|
|
6 |
Williams |
1 |
0 |
7 |
0 |
7.00 |
|
|
MOTM: M. S. Rundle Champagne Moment: J. vdG. Webster’s lovely
lofted straight drive for four Buffet Award: J. D. Hoskins’ burnt sea bass (no lemon butter sauce) MAD
Moment: I. Howarth stepping into a dog
bowl in flip flops (pavilion steps) |
Opposition:
V102 / 002 Ground: G093 / 002 Captain: C027 / 006 Match No: OT / 040 |