“Iron Hand Mander Shows the Way Forward

Match: 02 / 057

Lost by 140 runs

Team	Total
OUP	208
B. Mander 4 - 32, E. Lester 3 - 30
FFTMCCC	68
B. Mander 29

In his well-known study on the effects of possible technological advances on the cricket of the future (The Effects of Possible Technological Advances on the Cricket of the Future, R. F. Portlewalte, Knootwithe Press, 2001), R. F. Portlewalte speculates on the expected eventual widespread use of prosthetic aids and devices among players, both to extend the range and scope of existing skillbases, and to facilitate the development of new match skills that might well change the very nature of the game itself to some degree, more or less. Hats off then to Madster B. Mander for anticipating future trends and once again placing Far From The Madding Crowd at the vanguard of cricket research and development.

Some library stock of some cricket.

Mander’s new stainless steel hand (with fleshtone covering) has proved invaluable in recent weeks for The MAD – firstly against the Lemmings, and more recently, in last week’s game against OUP. Twice, off his own bowling, opposing batsmen have hit scorching straight drives back down the pitch at waist height, and twice the stainless steel hand has come into play, plucking the ball from the air, where a normal human flesh extension would surely have been shattered by the force and turned to a bloody pulp of crushed bones and jellied flesh. Amazingly, subsequent examination of the ‘hand’ by independent bystanders revealed no ill effects or damage whatsoever, and in each case Mander was able to continue bowling to the same high level. A clever addition, then, to The MADsters’ armoury of innovations, which also unscrews to double as a useful paperweight or ashtray.

With only eight players fronting up to face a formidable OUP side, it was always going to be an uphill struggle for the battling Mad, who in recent weeks had been soundly beaten by both the Lemmings and, irksomely, the Bodleian. Stalwart Mad captain M. Bullock lost the toss and elected to be told to field, but despite the disheartening shortage of fielders, A. Mann (1-21) and S. Dobner (0-26) did well to keep early runs to a minimum, and it was Dobner’s fingertip run-out that saw the first OUP wicket fall. Certainly, OUP’s middle order soon took control, but the final total of 208 could have been worse. J. Hotson (1-40) took a wicket, and a spirited MAD comeback saw B. Mander (4-32) and E. Lester (3-30) bring the OUP innings to a close in the 40th over, and The MAD went to tea brimming with hope, that a tornado would sweep in from the west and turn Oxford into rubble.

Several MAD batsmen would achieve duck status on this day.

B. Mander’s 8-over spell was perhaps the best of his MAD career, with the young Iron-Hand coaxing zip and zing from the wicket, firing down zooters and zippers, shooters, skimmers, skippers, scudders, dinkers, dunkers, strippers and nuggets, one after the other to the dismay and demise of the OUP batsmen, three of whom hit catches straight into the accepting belly of A. Mann in the covers. Mention also to E. Lester, who had his sliders working to perfection, and who must surely now have put the last twelve months in the bowling wilderness behind him.

As it was, there was no tornado to save The MAD from an all-too-common batting display, and with only eight lambs to be slaughtered, resistance at the crease was sporadic at best. A. Mann contributed his usual 7, A. Mander (4) and M. Bullock (5) troubled a frustrated scorer, and E. Lester (0), D. Jones (0) and J. Hotson (0) all tallied zero (see brackets). Only Iron-Hand Mander, MAD Man of the Match, stood up to be counted, and his flurrisome 29 restored a modicum of pride to an otherwise eggy scorecard. S. Dobner (5) remained cool and not out.

With the rest of the season still to come, and previous games already gone, it remains only for The MAD to be where they are.

‘Blocker’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from The Madding Crowd CC versus Oxford University Press Played at Jordan Hill, 14 July 2002 Oxford University Press won the toss and elected to bat Oxford University Press won by 140 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none

02 / 057 40 over match

Team	Oxford University Press
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	R. Mann	c Mann b B. Mander	65				4-149
2	Dennis	run out	17				1-32
3	R. Halsey	b Mann	18				2-56
4	Ward	c Mann b Hotson	17				3-108
5	I. Hall	b B. Mander	8				5-156
6	J. Walsh	c sub (Halsey) b Lester	9				6-187
7	S. Gibson	c and b B. Mander	28				9-207
8	S. Lawrence	c Mann b B. Mander	5				7-193
9	S. Gaminiratne	b Lester	3				8-202
10	Peerless	b Lester	4				10-208
11	D. Manley	not out	1				-
	Extras	(NB1, W20, B10, LB2)	33
	TOTAL	(all out, 40 overs)	208

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Mann	8	2	21	1
2	Dobner	6	0	26	0
3	Jones	8	0	49	0
4	Hotson	4	0	40	1
5	B. Mander	8	2	32	4
6	Lester	6	0	30	3

Team	Far from The Madding Crowd CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	A. G. Mann	b Peerless	7	(16)	1	-	1-14
2	A. M. Mander	c Gibson b Lawrence	4	(9)	1	-	3-14
3	E. N. Lester	b Peerless	0	(1)	-	-	2-14
4	D. L. Jones	b Lawrence	0	(9)	-	-	4-21
5	M. Bullock *+	b Lawrence	5	(18)	1	-	5-27
6	B. J. Mander	c Halsey b Manley	29	(57)	5	-	7-68
7	J. C. W. Hotson	b Peerless	0	(6)	-	-	6-29
8	S. L. P. Dobner	not out	5	(16)	-	-	-
9
10
11
	Extras	(W13, B2, LB3)	18
	TOTAL	(all out, 21.5 overs)	68

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Peerless	8	3	16	3
2	Lawrence	7	1	21	3
3	Manley	3.5	0	17	1
4	Gaminiratne	3	0	9	0

MOTM: n/a Champagne Moment: n/a Buffet Award: J. C. W. Hotson’s vegetarian burgers in cheap white buns (Tesco value)

Opposition: V019 / 03 Ground: G013 / 03 Captain: C005 / 05