“2003: Somerset Tour Begins”

Friday – At last Friday came, after many sleepless nights, intoxicating anticipation, and a 3-figure number of emails – The Mad Tour begins….

Madsters arrived in two by two hurrah, hurrah and encamped themselves in the welcome surroundings of the Dunkery Beacon Hotel bar.

Scissorhands makes speech.

“We should be playing in New Zealand, guys.”

Immediate inroads were made into the local’s Snatch – read that how you will. “That’s six bottles, six bottles ?….” mused a perplexed and impressed barman at Ian’s insatiable consumption “…I’ve never seen the like”.

Scissorhands makes speech.

Team building, bonding – a game of killer pool. Thornton cleans up twice – impressively. Not fair on the ladies, claims the Doc, Killer-Quiz-Pool is born.

Quizmaster Doc Whitely fires out questions from the Mastermind quiz book for Mensa members – Mike Powell, Nick Knight – both sailed the pacific, discovered elements and scored 136 for the Warwick’s seconds on a Tuesday in May. Book burned, back to basics, all be it Genus edition.

Which country is governed by “Lydia Armin?”, probes the Gynaecologist.

Scissorhands makes speech.

Saturday – Brother hyperventilating, birds responding well to Thornton’s call on the great white telephone. Shock news is breaking, “Idi Amin found dead by mispronunciation” – Mander is up a hill, an alibi? Super breakfast – poor turnout, no Jake, no Chemical Bros….

Meeting at 12pm announced Scissorhands, all present except Scissorhands, up same hill as Mander. The party completed by Dobner, Calypso, Yoda arriving in the X-wing with banging reggae. Complex system is devised, points for wickets, catches etc, no lbw, not at this level, agrees Scissorhands. All bowl, all bat.

Flash and Yes No stride to the wicket, a good partnership, on paper. Titanic gets the propellers moving and is despatched for a 10 ball over, conceding only 40. Pugwash offering words of encouragement from the boundary, deeper, deeper pleads the boat – I can still hear you.

Crash, crash, crash – Flash opens up in customary fashion, arms waving – stumps falling. Yes No can only watch and cry.

Batting wise – highlights include Spam hitting the only moving vehicle passing the ground all day. Take me Home helping himself to another Spam pie and laughing it into the pavilion urinal, a small but insignificant dent in a local’s parked car and Scissorhands creaming a Yes No delivery, leaving Dobner, drop-jawed in the middle of the wicket. Titanic was stumped 3x in the day (once by stand in keeper Tea Time), the Doc ran out 3x by Spam. Recede protecting his average, the only not out batsman all day.

Outside the Minehead CC pavilion.

Bowling – Excellent spinning from the Doc and Flash. Teatime enjoying the moment and bowling a total of 12 overs, including wides and no balls. Fielding – Oops held a difficult one, Yes No dived over every incoming ball, Tea Time was active, forming the 1 in a 9-1 field…. We think?!

‘Titanick’