“Vodafone Go MAD for Sunday Pub Cricket”

Match: 03 / 072

Lost by 3 wkts

Team	Total
FFTMCCC	58 & 92 - 4
I. Howarth 26, S. Dobner 20
Vodafone	61 & 90 - 7
S. Dobner 4 - 17

Formula One Grand Prix Champions, Premier League Champions, England Cricket Team, Derby, and Rugby Union sponsorship are just not enough for the largest telecommunications company in the world. No, Vodafone felt they needed to branch out into the world of Sunday Pub cricket to cement their domination in sports sponsorship. Fielding a team of 3/8ths Mad, and 8/8ths Vodafone from 10,000 staff UK wide, they hit the pub scene with gusto. Were The MAD to be daunted? We think not, for The MAD approached the game with their usual flair, suggesting a two innings format in an attempt to confuse the Vodafoners into a state of disarray.

You cross a nice footpath to Pembroke.

In a mystical display of mind control, the skip yet again forced the opposition into winning the toss, and the strike force of Flash and Strongbong strode to the track with confidence while the normal opening bat took 15 minutes to park his car in a 300 foot space. T. Smith’s (3) wicket fell early - before the stroke master could get his eye in, by which time N. Hebbes had managed to find a parking space big enough, and joined I. Howarth in the centre. The pair looked strong to start with, but after some masterful strokes under his not so level hat, I. Howarth succumbed to the bowling of fellow Northerner for a highest innings score of 26. No panic though, for making his way to the track was the ringer of all ringers to ring through the Vodafoners ranks. All great sportsmen always look to learn from others throughout their careers. Unfortunately J. Jackman had obviously learnt from his one-game colleagues the art of the Sand Wedge shot, and scooped one up into the waiting hands of an able fielder, out for 4 runs. Next lesson to be learnt by the master batsman was that of the ‘Collapse’, a feat which The MADsters themselves seem to be able to repeat at will, seemingly without trying.

The MAD Northerner continued to strike for the Vodafoners, taking 4-18, unbelievably so considering he looked at times like he needed a zimmer frame to complete his run-up, still suffering from the comical groin injury from the previous game. E. Lester was next to settle at the crease, with a look of determination so as not to get out lbw, so determined in fact that he moved his pads right out of the way of the ball and was bowled Golden Duck, but the grin that formed across his face whilst returning was a picture as he realised now that the lbw curse had been lifted. Fines come and Fines go, some Fines remembered, some get away. M. Westmoreland with his hat-trick ball, subtly bowled a wide, not only avoiding a costly two jug innings, but also somehow avoiding a hat-trick avoidance fine from fellow Madsters post game. One can only presume with so much Fine action later in the game this one paled into insignificance.

In actual fact, the collapse in this game was not without reason. The opening three wickets fell in 12 overs, so the tail came in with wickets to spare giving ample opportunity to practice suicidal run-out sequences, strangely enough with Mad members in the opposing field returning the ball to the stumps with amazing ferocity to achieve two successive run-outs. N. Hebbes (9 n.o.) could only stand and watch while he protected his average, as The MAD stumbled to a total of 58.

(Yawn)… but another glorious day for cricket at Pembroke.

A quick turnaround saw an impressive opening pair who started to strike the ball cleanly from the off, hardly troubling Wicket Keeper J. Hoskins at all <cough>. Despite being somewhat bemused by the wear on the ball, the opening bowlers eventually took the first wicket Bala (9), and from there, The MAD Vodafoners faced Mad bowlers three in a row. S. Dobner showed a return to wicket taking that we knew would return, returning figures of 4-17 off 5, returning Mad Vodafoners J. Harris (0), G. Bridges (2), and M. Westmoreland (1) back to the Pavilion before themselves returning to return the favour of supplying an extra fielder to The MAD. A. Mann backed up the Easy Tiger taking a customary wicket 1-16 off 4 while I. Howarth and J. Jackman mopped up the remaining wickets. A good display of tail wagging by M.Jurgens (13 n.o.) saw the Vodafone total ring in at 61. With the game nicely poised for the second innings, tea was taken. Not a mobile to be heard. How civilised.

The MAD second innings saw the batting order reversed. The Vodafoners opening bowler with only two overs left, managed to claim just one wicket J. Hoskins for 4. S. Dobner (20) however, still struggling from a comical wrist injury swung the bat with venom in partnership with A. Mann (19) to give The MAD a good start. E. Lester entered the fray free from the lbw curse, and struck some impressive straight drives for a respectable 13.

We’ve all learnt one thing – twenty four cans of Stella the night before a cricket match can do funny things to your eyes, and indeed your batting ability, as young Mander started a mini collapse that saw himself (Golden), J. Jackman (6), and the Titanic (1) turning full circle back to the Pavilion. T. Smith (14 n.o.), and I. Howarth (10 n.o.) added admirably to the total as The MADsters reached a seemingly unbeatable score of 92.

NINETY-TWO Madsters.

Could this be our Nelson? Those with memories slightly more reliable than a goldfish will remember the previous week’s game (that we shoulda won) when we were 92-2. Spooky. The Vodafoners innings started well for The MAD, two wickets for 5 runs, but at there started a formidable partnership of Andrew, and our own M. Westmoreland. A slip cordon of four was brought in to confuse the Northerner, but not for long as he started to strike many a straight drive.

At this point in the match report I have been strangely distracted by a bout of Communication Avoidance, and as a result, have completely lost all ability to record the hilarity on the field. Two things remain embossed in my memory though – that of the comical Benny Hill style catch from the stand in keeper S. Dobner, who took a catch off the bowling of J. Hoskins after completing three full turns wondering where the ball was. The second memorable event involved G. Bridges, Stabiliser, who drove the ball with gusto to score the winning runs for the VodaMadsters.

The time at Pembroke is always 15:47:38.05

All things being equal, lessons will be learnt from this entertaining afternoon. Never invite your Nephews to a cricket match where the Pavilion Clock is just waiting to be hit by a half volley with a football is certainly one. Oh well, it has said “just after a quarter to four” for the last three years anyway.

‘Hoskers’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from The Madding Crowd CC versus Vodafone Played at Pembroke College, 20 July 2003 Far from The Madding Crowd CC won the toss and elected to bat Vodafone won by 3 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: Justin Jackman (080)

03 / 072 2 x 15 over match

Team	Far from The Madding Crowd CC – 1st innings
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	I. Howarth	c Harris b Westmoreland	26	(30)	2	-	2-40
2	T. P. W. Smith +	b Balaji	3	(11)	-	-	1-20
3	N. J. Hebbes	not out	9	(28)	-	-	-
4	J. Jackman	c Gareth b Westmoreland	4	(5)	1	-	3-49
5	E. N. Lester	b Westmoreland	0	(2)	-	-	4-49
6	A. G. Mann	run out	1	(5)	-	-	5-57
7	J. D. Hoskins *	run out	1	(2)	-	-	6-58
8	S. L. P. Dobner	b Westmoreland	0	(1)	-	-	7-58
9	B. Mander	absent
10
11
	Extras	(W9, LB5)	14
	TOTAL	(all out, 14.2 overs)	58

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Balaji	3	0	8	1
2	Mayer	5	0	23	0
3	Westmoreland	4.2	0	18	4
4	Gareth	2	0	4	0

Team	Vodafone – 1st innings
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	Balaji	c Smith b Dobner	11	(9)	2	-	1-15
2	B. Mayer	b Mann	9	(14)	1	-	3-25
3	J. Harris	lbw b Dobner	0	(4)	-	-	2-16
4	G. Bridges	b Dobner	2	(5)	-	-	4-25
5	M. T. Westmoreland	c Hebbes b Dobner	1	(3)	-	-	5-28
6	Andrew	c and b Howarth	8	(21)	1	-	6-43
7	Mark	not out	13	(31)	2	-	-
8	Gareth	b Jackman	9	(6)	2	-	7-61
9
10
11
	Extras	(NB3, W2, B3)	8
	TOTAL	(all out, 15 overs)	61

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Mann	4	0	16	1
2	Dobner	5	0	17	4
3	Jackman	4	0	18	1
4	Howarth	2	0	7	1

Team	Far from The Madding Crowd CC – 2nd innings
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	S. L. P. Dobner	c and b Bridges	20	(30)	3	-	3-52
2	J. D. Hoskins *	b Balaji	4	(8)	-	-	1-5
3	A. G. Mann	b Mayer	17	(16)	2	-	2-32
4	E. N. Lester	st Mark b Mayer	12	(9)	1	-	5-60
5	B. J. Mander	b Mayer	0	(1)	-	-	4-56
6	J. Jackman	b Mayer	6	(7)	-	-	6-68
7	N. J. Hebbes	b Mayer	1	(4)	-	-	7-69
8	T. P. W. Smith +	not out	14	(9)	2	-	-
9	I. Howarth	not out	10	(8)	1	-	-
10
11
	Extras	(NB1, W4, B3)	8
	TOTAL	(for 7 wickets, 15 overs)	92

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Balaji	2	1	2	1
2	Gareth	3	0	15	0
3	Mayer	6	0	42	5
4	Bridges	4	0	28	1

Team	Vodafone – 2nd innings
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	Gareth	c Dobner b Hoskins	4	(4)	1	-	2-9
2	Mark	b Hebbes	1	(3)	-	-	1-6
3	Andrew	not out	41	(44)	4	-	-
4	M. T. Westmoreland	b Mann	31	(32)	4	-	3-79
5	G. Bridges	c sub b Mann	0	(2)	-	-	4-79
6	J. Harris	not out	6	(5)	-	-
7	B. Mayer
8	Balaji
9
10
11
	Extras	(W2, B1, LB4)	7
	TOTAL	(for 4 wickets, 14 overs)	90

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Hoskins	6	0	38	1
2	N. Hebbes	4	0	27	1
3	Howarth	3	0	21	0
4	Mann	1	0	2	2

MOTM: n/a Champagne Moment: n/a Buffet Award: n/a

Opposition: V028 / 01 Ground: G011 / 20 Captain: C006 / 10