“Twinkle’s Big Day Out”
Match: 04
/ 093
Won
by 8 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
Minehead CC |
175 |
|
J. Hoskins 4 - 34, A. Mann
2 - 4 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCCC |
179 - 2 |
|
S. Dobner 77*, I. Howarth
40 |
|
|
4.26am Twinkle lay awake in bed as the neon digits of the
alarm clock stared back at him. This was the fourth night running that he had
been unable to get a decent night’s kip. Even a diet of West Country cider
had failed to lull his brain into switching off. Again he had had the same
ghastly dream – a cricket ground, lined by trees, with a large brick pavilion
to one side, and the terrifying sight of a large man in whites swishing his
bat around and smacking balls so high and mighty that seagulls were endangered.
It was barely a year ago on the previous Tour, that the Captaincy at Minehead
befell him. A horrible day in which the Minehead players smashed the ball to
every facet of the Somerset coastline, and then scythed through the tired and
drunken MAD batting line-up. Steve still had nightmares about that day, in
particular the shambolic performance off his team mates who left him to carry
the can for their collective ineptitude. But later today, Mr Dobner was to
reconvene those demons… for The MAD were to return.
A beautiful
day ushered in for the trip to Minehead. 8.35am A very tired and
dishevelled Stevie D entered the dining area of the Dunkery Beacon Hotel. He
needed breakfast for fuel, because he certainly hadn’t had any sleep. His
eyes lifted and settled on one of his team mates sitting opposite. Mr.
Westmoreland had suffered similarly that fateful day, when he was routinely
savaged by rampaging batsmen and later had to retire from the field of play,
sporting yet another injury. He looked a haunted man. Things had
to be different this time round, surely? 1.30pm The MADding Crowd
cricketers arrived at the Minehead CC in an assortment of coloured cars [and
a shit Skoda], and after unloading their wares, they made for the pitch to
see what was what. The first thing they realised was that there was already a
game going on – so unless they were late for some bizarre 3-sided cricketing
affair, they weren’t playing on this particular pitch. After deciding that
3-sided cricket was ludicrous, the players made their way past the infamous
Westmoreland pavilion and over to a more rough and tumble pitch by some
tennis courts. How apt.
A prefect parking spot for the Fennel Bros. Striding up to ramshackle
changing rooms, much akin to some outhouses in the Wild West, Steve was
relieved to be confronted by a friendly collection of granddads, kids, and
the odd mouthy teenager; and nary a pot-bellied ogre in sight. Mr. Dobner
smiled – today was going to be a very very
different proposition. 2.30pm Following a predictable loss of the toss,
Steve reluctantly informed his men that they would be fielding first in the glorious
sunshine. It was hot, real hot, and so bloody perfect for running about after
a night on the piss. The new ball was tossed to veteran A. Mann
to begin with, and he proceeded to bowl dot ball after dot ball after dot
ball, until everyone fell asleep. The returning S. Hebbes on the other hand
bowled far less dot balls and was subsequently swatted for several boundaries
returning figures of 8-0-52-1. However, wickets did start to tumble after the
introduction of N. Hebbes (7-2-13-2), and J. Hoskins (8-0-34-4); and for a
while The MAD thought about chasing a meagre target. This notion was quickly
scuppered by a selection of buffet dished up by J. Harris in returning the
dismal figures of 4-0-37-0. Despite the skipper (3-0-9-0) applying some
latter over brakes, it was left for the returning Ant Mann (8-4-4-2) to
curtail the Minehead innings with 2 wickets from his last 2 balls. Minehead
all out for a healthy 178 and Antony on a hat-trick.
A building site provided a lush and exotic background to proceedings. 4.34pm Tea. And a darned fine
spread. 5.01pm With the Mineheadsters having taken to the
field, Twinkle marched to the crease with his opening partner, I. Howarth.
The sight of a small kid opening the bowling from the Tennis Court End led to
speculation as to how Howarth would counter this threat – bearing in mind his
rather inglorious dismissal just 12 months ago... to a kid... an incident
which caused The Madding Crowd to debate his age ever since, and laugh every
time Howarth faced a kid who came up to his kneecaps. Today however, Ian
repelled the juvenile attack as The MAD realised an imperious 65-0 off the
first 10 overs. Unfortunately, as is his want, Howarth (40) got carried away
and returned a sharp catch to bowler
D Richards. J. Harris now accompanied his Skipper at the crease, and in
harness they pushed the score serenely past the hundred until Calypso (20)
wandered down the pitch to get stumped. Westmoreland became the latest partner for a
visibly tiring Twinkle, and as the Minehead team wilted in the afternoon
heat, The MAD relentlessly chased down their total. Martin coshed the ball
around to finish unbeaten on 31*, and with a surge of booming drives and
trademark paddles, Dobner finished proceedings off to remain unbeaten on 77
not out. A Captain’s knock if ever there was and a wonderful way to slay the
demons of ’03.
Natch cider – ideal for combating the effects of dehydration. ‘Spam’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from The Madding Crowd CC versus Minehead CC Played at Alcombe, 31 July 2004 Minehead CC won the toss and elected
to bat Far from The Madding Crowd
CC won by 8 wkts Far from the MCC debuts:
Mike Clarke (085) |
04 / 093 40 over match |
|
Team |
Minehead CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
K. Welsher |
st Hotson b Hoskins |
60 |
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
I. Albutt |
c Howarth b N. Hebbes |
16 |
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
D. Richards |
c Hotson b Lester |
31 |
|
|
|
|
|
4 |
D. Richardson |
b Hoskins |
15 |
|
|
|
|
|
5 |
P. Swallow |
c Dobner b Hoskins |
13 |
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
M. Plenty |
c S. Hebbes b Hoskins |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
C. Chidgey |
c N. Hebbes b S. Hebbes |
5 |
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
R. Bowditch |
not out |
2 |
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
J. Hurley |
c Mann b N.
Hebbes |
8 |
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
B. Swann |
c and b Mann |
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
D. Veale |
b Mann |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
|
24 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 39 overs) |
175 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Mann |
8 |
4 |
4 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
S. Hebbes |
8 |
0 |
52 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
N. Hebbes |
7 |
2 |
13 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Harris |
4 |
0 |
37 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Dobner |
3 |
0 |
9 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Hoskins |
8 |
0 |
34 |
4 |
|
|
7 |
Lester |
1 |
0 |
10 |
1 |
|
|
Team |
Far from The Madding Crowd CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
I. Howarth |
c and b Richards |
40 |
(34) |
8 |
1 |
1-65 |
|
2 |
S. L. P. Dobner * |
not out |
77 |
(97) |
11 |
- |
- |
|
3 |
J. Harris |
st Bowditch b Richards |
20 |
(35) |
5 |
- |
2-109 |
|
4 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
not out |
31 |
(35) |
5 |
- |
- |
|
5 |
M. D. Clarke |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
J. D. Hoskins |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
J. C. W. Hotson
+ |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
E. N. Lester |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
N. J. Hebbes |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
A. G. Mann |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
S. Hebbes |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB2, W4, B5) |
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 2 wickets, 33.1 overs) |
179 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Hurley |
5.1 |
1 |
33 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Veale |
6 |
0 |
25 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Richards |
8 |
0 |
40 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Chidgey |
2 |
0 |
9 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Swallow |
4 |
0 |
23 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Albutt |
4 |
0 |
25 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Swann |
3 |
0 |
13 |
0 |
|
|
8 |
Welsher |
1 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
|
|
MOTM: S. L. P. Dobner Champagne Moment: n/a Buffet
Award: J. Harris’ egg and cress
sandwiches (with salad cream) |
Opposition:
V030 / 02 Ground: G021 / 02 Captain: C008 / 03 |