“MAD make use of Loading Bay

After Going Down to Close Defeat”

Match: 04 / 089

Lost by 5 wkts

Team	Total
FFTMCCC	188 - 8
S. Dobner 84, M. Westmoreland 22
Bodleian	192 - 5
J. Harris 2 - 34

For the second time in two weeks, players from FFTMCCC have used the loading bay at the back of their home pub, Far from The MADding Crowd, in order to park after their game. “This loading bay thing is great,” said FFTMCCC captain J. Hoskins as he sat in the cosy Friar’s Entry pub cradling a pint of beer. “It’s convenient and easy. We park our cars for free, then go in the back way, past the offices and then out into the pub itself. You even get to see how a pub works from behind-the-scenes, which is really cool.” Other Mad players were equally vociferous in their approval of the loading bay situation. Said one unnamed player, “We like parking, we like to be able to park. Sometimes when you can’t park you have to drive around for a while before you can find a space, and even then you might not be able to find one. So what do you do then? Just not park and drive about for the rest of the day? It’s not practical, is it?” Parking is always high on the agenda when it comes to team interests, and even those unable to avail themselves directly of the facility are enthusiastic about the loading bay. Said one, “I don’t drive, so I’ve never been able to park, but I can see how useful it could be to other people. My friends and family have always parked their cars, whether in their driveways, at work, or even out at the supermarket. Parking rocks!” And yet, in the case of such a universally compelling subject, is it any surprise that the odd dissenting voice is thrown up? One Madster who refused to be named said, “A loading bay? Big deal, what’s in it for people who don’t have cars? Personally I have one, but what if I didn’t? Would I get anything out of this? I really feel like I’ve been let down by the whole loading bay arrangement, or would do if I didn’t have a car.” Whatever the case, the parking situation is sure to zzzzzzzzzzzzzz….

The Far from The Madding Crowd pub – it has a loading bay out the back.

The cancellation of The MAD’s early season fixture against the Bodleian had meant that only one game would be played between the two teams this year, and it was just a damn shame that, when it was played, The MAD lost it in the last over after posting 188-8 in fine style. For crying out loud, what do you have to do to win a game of cricket these days? Be reincarnated as Hanse Cronje and rig the mutha?

The Bodleian had turned up two men short, but The MAD had two over, so A. Morley and T. Mander graciously agreed to play for the visitors. Winning the toss as usual, Mad captain J. Hoskins chose to bat, and a slight change to the order saw ex-trundler S. Dobner joining the small-handed I. Howarth at the wicket for openers. Howarth (18) started brightly enough with a string of small-handed boundaries before feathering one through to the keeper, then J. Hotson (looking less like a 1940s jazz band singer every day) and Dobner set to work building an elaborate mosque out of matchsticks, small finely cut pieces of tile and paper mache. Thirteen overs and nine hours later (or so it seemed) the mosque was nineteen stories high, H. Fairweather-Tall (7-3-9-0) had the best figures in pieman history, and only thirty runs had been added. Yet this leisurely period of play proved to be the foundation for The MAD total – there were wickets in hand when Hotson finally went for a well-crafted 6 in the twentieth over, making way for captain J. Hoskins, who with a breezy 13 in no time kick-started The MAD innings.

The rest of the order followed suit: M. Westmoreland (22) began with a champagne six and went on in grand style, N. Hebbes (21) also made hay, and G. Bridges chipped in with his customary easy play for 9. All the while S. Dobner had been accumulating at the other end, and when at last he fell bowled with the total on 160, his score of 84 was the fifth highest in Mad history, not a century either, and in addition complete and utter vindication of his irrevocable decision never to bowl for The MAD again under any circumstances at all except as it happened later that day when called upon. An unusual conjunction of the planets Mars and Neptune in Uranus (yurkle yurkle) earlier in the week had meant that the portents were right for the earth not to be destroyed by an asteroid, the game not to be cancelled, and Eddie not to be unable to make it, a remarkable combination of fortuities which saw E. Lester at last stride to the crease for The MAD in season 2004, at which point he scored 3 not out while T. Smith got none.

Someone is facing, but hard to tell who….

After their promising start had been so brutally thrashed away by The MAD, at the break Team Bodleian seemed to be eating a tea which tasted of ashes and dust, which fact made the egg mayo sandwiches and jam tarts even scrummier than usual for the assembled Mad. And yet, it should be noted at this point that T. Mander sitting with the opposition was tucking into his chocolate rolls with great relish, in such a relaxed and somehow evil manner that, if one were to speculate that he had been temporarily possessed by a malevolent and degenerate spirit of great cunning and wiles, one might not be hugely mistaken. We shall leave Mr. Mander a while to his complacent scoffing and return to the game.

Attacking a large total, the Bodleian set about their task sensibly, with Colquhoun (23) scoring quickly off A. Mann (1-25) before The MAD bowler got his man with a sweet in-swinger. N. Hebbes (0-16) kept it tight as usual, and for a percentage of the innings The MAD felt in control, but after being dropped early on, Hodgson (54) accrued steadily, while Fairweather-Tall (39) and Milner (29) both in their turn began to take toll. Bowling his looping off spin, J. Harris (2-34) was always dangerous, and M. Westmoreland (1-27) bagged a late wicket but, suddenly as it seemed, with the heavens opening and the rain coming down, there were only overs to go, and the Bodleian were in need of only runs.

Who is this now striding to the crease, in the unaccustomed role of adversary to his trusty mates? Step forward T. Mander, and show us what you’ve got. He had plenty. After blocking the first two from S. Dobner (0-24) in insouciant style, Mander spontaneously reinvented the backlift and flayed the next for four over midwicket, his first boundary since he last played for the opposition. Several more lusty blows followed, while The MAD players and Bodleian captain N. Millea at the non-striker’s end stood watching in amaze. Now, thanks to Mander’s lusty play, the scores were tied, and The MAD team chirurgeon simply watched as the first ball of the last over was called wide, then began his easy, victorious stroll from the field. It occurred then to The MAD that, out from under them almost as they watched, the game had been stolen. A brief uprushing of fetid air from Mander’s body indicated that the foul demon, its job done, had now departed the doctor’s body, taking with it all memory of the game, and in particular, the backlift. There was nothing left now but for the clouds to part, and the sun to come out, and The MAD to go off to their loading bay to park.

Another loss, and this one quite ouchy with victory so near. Welcome back to founder member E. Lester who has been sorely missed this year, and also to once and future MAD scorer R. Lester who sensibly used the game as an opportunity to catch up on her reading.

‘Blocker’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from The Madding Crowd CC versus Bodleian Played at Pembroke College, 27 June 2004 Far from The Madding Crowd CC won the toss and elected to bat Bodleian won by 5 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none

04 / 089 35 over match

Team	Far from The Madding Crowd CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	I. Howarth	c Fairweather-Tall b Milner	18	(22)	3	-	1-28
2	S. L. P. Dobner	b Hodgkin	84	(94)	11	-	5-160
3	J. C. W. Hotson +	c and b MacKinnon	6	(42)	-	-	2-58
4	J. D. Hoskins *	c Hudson b Hodgkin	13	(12)	2	-	3-92
5	M. T. Westmoreland	b Milner	22	(16)	3	1	4-138
6	N. J. Hebbes	b Hodgkin	21	(17)	3	-	7-184
7	G. Bridges	b Milner	9	(5)	1	-	6-180
8	E. N. Lester	not out	3	(2)	-	-	-
9	T. P. W. Smith	not out	0	(1)	-	-	-
10	J. Harris
11	A. G. Mann
	Extras	(NB1, W8, LB1, B2)	12
	TOTAL	(for 7 wickets, 35 overs)	188

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Milner	7	1	42	3
2	Ackland	7	0	21	0
3	Fairweather-Tall	7	3	9	0
4	MacKinnon	4	0	27	1
5	Hopkins	7	0	63	3
6	Hodgkin	3	0	23	0

Team	Bodleian
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	A. H. Colquhoun +	b Mann	23		4	-	1-36
2	J. C. Hodgkin	run out (Dobner)	54		3	-	3-163
3	A. J. Fairweather-Tall	b Westmoreland	39		6	-	2-113
4	A. F. Milner	c Howarth b Harris	29		4	-	5-174
5	A. J. MacKinnon	b Harris	6		1	-	4-174
6	A. M. Mander	not out	12		2	-	-
7	N. A. Millea *	not out	4		-	-	-
8	A. Morley
9	D. F. Busby
10	A. J. Hudson
11	S. G. Ackland
	Extras		25
	TOTAL	(for 5 wickets, 34.1 overs)	192

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Mann	7	1	25	1
2	Hebbes	5	0	16	0
3	Smith	3	0	28	0
4	Harris	7	0	34	2
5	Howarth	5	0	26	0
6	Westmoreland	4	0	27	1
7	Dobner	3.1	0	24	0

MOTM: S. L. P. Dobner Champagne Moment: M. T. Westmoreland’s six as first scoring stroke Buffet Award: T. P. W. Smith’s Mars Bars with ice-cream

Opposition: V023 / 06 Ground: G011 / 26 Captain: C006 / 21