“MAD Army Liberates Marlborough Country”
Match: 04
/ 083
Won
by 149 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCCC |
196 - 6 |
|
I. Howarth 79, S. Hebbes
30* |
|
|
|
|
|
Marlborough House |
47 |
|
A. Mann 3 - 4, S. Dobner
3 - 17 |
|
|
In scenes very
reminiscent, the Army of The MAD today liberated Marlborough Country at Cuttleslowe Park by a hefty 149 runs with 15 overs to
spare. Witnessed by three kids on a bike and a dog called Woofie,
the devastation inflicted by The MAD Army was far-reaching, significant and salutary for all concerned. Said Group
Captain J. Hoskins after the game, “We’re using ‘liberate’ in the
Anglo-American sense of completely obliterate, destroy, give a good kicking
to. We expected the Marlborians to show up today with a stronger force, but
they had no hidden weapons at all, which frankly was a bit of a surprise. I
think you could say that we took no prisoners, and if we had, there’s hardly
any chance at all we would have abused them, and if we had, it wouldn’t have
been our fault. Sadly none of our team is on the board of Halliburton, so
it’s unlikely we’ll make millions of bucks out of this, but no-one can deny
that today is a great day, especially for the people of Marlborough. The
Marlborians have at last been liberated after a long period of local
resistance. Long live The MAD!” Game One. Year Zero. The lengthy off-season
deliberations about whether to seek a new home pub had finished. The candidate
venues had been assiduously researched and assessed, and the Committee had
met to discuss the options. A complex system of weightings was devised, and
the different pubs rated, their merits discussed in a furiously heated and
yet witty and purposeful debate, after which someone said, ‘Let’s just stay
at The MAD’ and everyone else agreed.
The MAD watch their batsman making hay against the Marlborians. As though to metaphorical clap the hand of
wisdom onto the backs of the gathered Mad, not long into the game, the Far from
The Madding Crowd proprietor himself – James Reilly – arrived at the ground
with a bottle of rum, limes, coke and ice, and in
sweltering May heat proceeded to feed alcohol to the grateful team, the
manner in which these refreshments were accepted suggesting that several of
the assembled had not had a drink for several years. There had been little in
the jeans and T-shirts of the arriving Marlborough team to suggest the
outcome of the game, but the shape of things to come soon became clear when
half their number didn’t bother to change before taking the field. This was a
weakened Marlborough XI that The MAD faced. Batting after the toss was won by
consistently successful coinsman J. Hoskins, J.
Hotson (4) anchored a pretty opening stand of 65 with Mad 2003 Player of the
Year, I. Howarth, whose 79 at Cuttleslowe banished
the bogies and showed none of the effects of an off-season spent in constant
louche debauchery and habitual spamming. T. Mander (1) went cheaply before M.
Westmoreland (11) had a promising innings cut short by a brilliant umpiring
decision much applauded by the Marlborough faithful. S. Hebbes continued his
fine form, scoring approximately 30, while M. Bullock (18) and J. Hoskins (5 n.o) provided typically bright cameos to push the score
far beyond the reach of the depleted Marlborough. A. Fisher marked a welcome
return to the team with 13 lusty runs at the business end of the innings, and
only the bowling of A. Salt (2-17) proved any obstacle as The MAD progressed
towards their fourth highest total of all time.
All that remained then was for the bowling
attack to render the Marlborough into a quivering pile of duck eggs, and so
it occurred. A. Mann (3-4) made short work of the top order, taking three
wickets for no runs all bowled before hitting the doldrums and retiring to
slip with the gammy knee which will no doubt plague him into his dotage
should he live that long. S. Dobner (3-17) began the season with real zip, J.
Hoskins (2-3) was right on the mark as usual, and N. Hebbes (1-9) was
likewise right in the groove. A. Fisher (1-0) needed just a single ball to
grab the prized wicket of a small boy hardly able to hold a bat, and thereby
end an innings of seven ducks, two scores of one, and M. Shelley, who at 20
not out survived long enough to be dropped three times by The MAD. Which
seemed to amuse him greatly. On crossing the border into Marlborough
Country for a post-war celebration, The MAD were disappointed to see that
only a handful of the natives of that land had arrived to welcome them,
indeed, it was enough to make you think that the Marlborough hadn’t enjoyed being liberated at all. ‘Blocker’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from The Madding Crowd CC versus Marlborough House Played at Cutteslowe Park, 16 May
2004 Far from The Madding Crowd CC won the toss and elected to bat Far from The Madding Crowd
CC won by 149 runs Far from the MCC debuts:
none |
04 / 083 35 over match |
|
Team |
Far from The Madding Crowd CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
I. Howarth |
b Salt |
79 |
(75) |
10 |
1 |
4-118 |
|
2 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
b Potter |
4 |
(19) |
- |
- |
1-65 |
|
3 |
A. M. Mander |
lbw b Shelley |
1 |
(2) |
- |
- |
2-71 |
|
4 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
lbw b Salt |
11 |
(24) |
1 |
- |
3-96 |
|
5 |
S. Hebbes |
not out |
30 |
(44) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
6 |
M. Bullock + |
b Pallander |
18 |
(34) |
1 |
- |
5-164 |
|
7 |
A. J. Fisher |
c Shelley b Ponting |
13 |
(12) |
1 |
- |
6-185 |
|
8 |
J. D. Hoskins * |
not out |
5 |
(3) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
N. J. Hebbes |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
A. G. Mann |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB6, W27; B1; LB1) |
35 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 6 wickets, 35 overs) |
196 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Pallander |
7 |
0 |
43 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
Ponting |
6 |
0 |
40 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Shelley |
7 |
1 |
30 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Potter |
2 |
0 |
16 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Salt |
7 |
2 |
17 |
2 |
|
|
6 |
Whalley |
5 |
0 |
28 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Lal |
1 |
0 |
12 |
0 |
|
|
Team |
Marlborough House |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
G. Lal |
b Mann |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
A. Salt |
b Mann |
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
J. Hague |
b Dobner |
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
4 |
Edward |
b Mann |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
5 |
M. W. Shelley * |
not out |
20 |
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
P. Henley |
b N. Hebbes |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
R. Whalley |
c S. Hebbes b Dobner |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J. Carroll + |
b Dobner |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
S. Ponting |
c Mander b Hoskins |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
J. Potter |
lbw b Hoskins |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
S. Pallander |
st Bullock b Fisher |
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
|
12 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 21.1 overs) |
47 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Mann |
4 |
2 |
4 |
3 |
|
|
2 |
Dobner |
7 |
0 |
17 |
3 |
|
|
3 |
N. Hebbes |
5 |
1 |
9 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Hoskins |
4 |
2 |
3 |
2 |
|
|
5 |
Hotson |
1 |
0 |
9 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Fisher |
0.1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: I. Howarth Champagne Moment: I. Howarth’s six over
long on Buffet
Award: J. C. W. Hotson’s basic
marmite sandwiches |
Opposition:
V010 / 14 Ground: G001 / 20 Captain: C006 / 16 |