Far from the MCC fines 21.08.05 v Marlborough House (h) won by 109 runs

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Mel	Fine Avoidance	No money to pay
	Turning Up Late
	Scorers' Duties Avoidance	Not scoring
			£0.75
Steve D	Impersonating a Film Character	Elias from Platoon with wicket celebration
	Pub Avoidance	Before game, drinking can of Stella at ground instead
	Self Importance
	Dissent	‘Cobner’
			£1.00
Martin	Self Importance	Agreeing to 'keep despite two regular 'keepers
	Impersonating a Wicketkeeper
	Missed Stumping		£0.50
	Umpiring Incompetence	Five ball over
	Missed Stumping		£0.50
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
			£2.25
Kim	Self Importance	Reading book about own job
	Pen Avoidance	Coloured pens for scoring in bag but not produced
	Pub Avoidance	Before game, drinking can of Stella at ground instead
	Scorers' Duties Avoidance	Not scoring
			£1.00
Geoff	Self Importance	Giving self out: "I gloved it."
	Impersonating a Desert Storm Trooper	Camouflage t-shirt
	Wide Avoidance	Generous Umpiring
	Wicketkeeper Avoidance	Not 'keeping
	Self Importance Avoidance	Excessive Humility
			£1.25
Andrew	Impersonating Stevie Wonder	Missed catch
	Dropped Catch	Eyesight Avoidance	£0.50
	Slow Running	Getting lapped by Matt whilst batting
			£1.00
Jake	Opening Partnership Avoidance		£0.50
	Impersonating a Footballer	Being sliding-tackled by Matt in field
	Self Importance
	Laundry Avoidance	Appearing to only possess one t-shirt
	Concentration Avoidance During Fines Committee	Order of Fines going in wrong direction round table (if anyone every understands this rule)
			£1.50
Ian	Average Protection
	Inappropriate Urination
	Losing The Toss
	Willing a Team Mate to Get Out	Impersonating James (ESP) - predicting fall of wicket
	Willing a Team Mate to Get Out	Impersonating James (ESP) - predicting fall of wicket
	Batting Avoidance	Sending Geoff and Thorn out to bat to score quick runs
	Fine Entrapment	Asking Martin to 'keep
	Wicketkeeper Avoidance	Not asking Matt to 'keep
	Wicketkeeper Avoidance	Not asking Geoff to 'keep
	Dissing The Team
	Impersonating a Schoolboy	With hat and short trousers whilst umpiring
	Umpiring Incompetence	Counters Avoidance
			£3.00
Nick	Slow Running	Being outrun by Andrew in field
	Dissing The Team
	Average Protection	Scoring only two in last over
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Umpiring Incompetence	Counters Avoidance
	Impersonating a Footballer	Taking ball on chest (sinking own ship)
			£1.75
Thornton	Impersonating Jake	Stealing the Gavel
	Impersonating a Woman	Riding a girl's bike
	Duck		£0.50
	Batting Avoidance	Getting out in order to finish can of Stella
	Work Avoidance	During work experience in Somerset, and at college
			£1.50
Matt	Impersonating a Footballer	Sliding tackle on Jake in field
	Impersonating an Athlete	Running four (then complaining)
	Self Importance	Hogging the game
			£0.75
John	Pub Avoidance	Before game
	Pub Avoidance	After game
	Owning a Cash Machine Company	Calypso (Cash Machines) Ltd
	Dissent	Smiling throughout
	Cricket Avoidance	Distracted by tennis player
			£1.25
Dan	Dissing The Team	Admitting to having regrets about leaving Marlborough House
	Intimate Knowledge of Opposition	Being over-friendly with opposition, hugging and fraternising etc.
	Self Importance	Excessive warming-up
	Self Importance	Acting as Spell-Master with only Spell-Caster qualification
	Concentration Avoidance During Fines Committee	Taking a 'phone call
	Concentration Avoidance During Fines Committee	Taking another 'phone call
	Bullying a Small Child	Taking wicket of
	Bullying a Woman	Taking wicket of
	Dog Avoidance	No Joe Puppy
			£2.25
		TOTAL	£19.25

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber [anything] – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2