“Jackson Sprint to Maiden Ton”
Match: 05
/ 117
Lost
by 54 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Cholsey CC |
239 - 7 |
|
A. Mann 3 - 39 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
185 - 7 |
|
S. Dobner 54, N. Hebbes
37 |
|
|
In the past, especially when formerly known as Jude the Obscure, the No-MAD
have tinkered with the customs, if not the laws of the game, occasionally to
their advantage. Few will forget the “Ball of Victory” photograph, taken
before ignominious defeat. Back in the last century, 1999 to be precise,
then-captain A. Mann instigated the Nine Man theory, whether by cunning
design or by the fact there were only nine people available to play on a
sunny afternoon at Marcham. Three of Mann’s nine were debutants, but a
comprehensive victory was achieved, and the Nine-Man theory became stuff of
legends.
A. Mann instigated Nine Man theory. In more recent times, even international cricket has been under the
purist’s microscope. Having investigated the Nine Man theory of yesteryear,
and presumably the huge American Football-esque
squad rotation system of Sven Joran Eriksson – which has been put to “good
use” in several friendly internationals, our governors the ICC have opted not
for a nine man game but for twelve, whereby the twelfth man, previously
merely a porter of sweaters and drinks, can now take his place in the field
in place of a batsman, who is either too knackered to field, or is just plain
crap at it. Not wishing to be usurped in the field of invention, current No-MAD
captain J. Hoskins duly came up with a cunning plan to beat the Cholsey
cheese boys. The initial approach was conventional in the extreme. It was a game of
ten a side, which is slightly unconventional, I suppose, but the fact that
the No-MAD had as many players as the opposition rendered the numerical game
a little irrelevant. Had it not been for P. Jackson, then the numbers
involved in the game as a whole would have been significantly lower all
round. Jackson raced to his fifty after Nine-Man theorist A. Mann had taken
early wickets, and by the time S. Dobner, I. Howarth and T. Smith had rattled
the middle order, word circulated across the globe’s newswires that Jackson
was close to his maiden century. Not wishing to miss this spectacle, Mr Jackson (senior) and his wife
arrived at the Pembroke ground having travelled from Tunbridge Wells by
hovercraft, and they were in time to see their son strike successive
boundaries of A. Mann (3-39) to reach his maiden ton, make it to 105, and
then be bowled, all within the space of three balls. He received a standing
ovation. The lower order spluttered on for another two overs or so,
distracted by jubilant celebrations on the boundary, but the total was
stretched to 239-7 off an exhausting 40 overs.
Spot Kev’s famous egg-mayonnaise sandwiches. Over egg sandwiches, captain J. Hoskins hatched a cunning plan. Only
the previous evening, whilst preparing for the game under the curfew of no
sex and no alcohol, the skipper had chanced upon Agatha Christie’s “Ten
Little Indians”, where one by one the ten men disappear, and had also had the
chance to review the legendary Australian physician, Dr Ricky P. Onting’s twelfth man dissertation, in which he argues
against the use of the twelve man theory, even if all of your bowlers have
weak bladders and dodgy shoulders and have to be replaced by a Jonty Rhodes
clone after every bowling spell. Apparently, despite some rich language, the
Doctor was not at all bitter. And so Hoskins came up with an idea, and set about foxing the Cholsey
boys with some intriguing tactics, preferring the Christie plan to that of
Ponting or the ICC. I. Howarth batted first, and departed for nine. Once out,
and before he could shower, he was dispatched from the ground. And then there
were nine.
N. Hebbes [white dot with bat] lays a solid
foundation for the No-MAD. G. Carter (29) joined N. Hebbes (37) and they added some runs, and when
S. Dobner scored freely on his way to 54, the target looked well within
reach. The King of Moo, M. Westmoreland, was dropped down the order for the
King of Spin M. Bullock to have a knock (27*), but at the other end T. Smith
(2) and J. Hotson (4) fell cheaply, and then A. Mann fell in the style of the
great Australian doctor, taking a quick single to by far the best fielder on
the park. Silly boy. At this point, Hoskins sent M. Westmoreland home so that
he couldn’t bat, apparently as part of the overall plan. And then there were
eight. Hoskins himself took to the field to bash a quick-fire nine, and in the
process (and very openly) protect his average, and when 71 runs were required
with two overs left, all looked lost. Which was mostly true. Everything
wasn’t lost but the game was; the No-MAD eventually
fell 54 runs short.
A fruitless No-MAD chase…. Reflecting on the diminishing team theory after the team’s last game of
the season at Pembroke, captain J. Hoskins was uncharacteristically quiet.
Only three players had made it to the pub as part of the plan, and the
atmosphere was strangely end-of-term muted, and even the Fines Committee
failed to function. Hoskins himself put the time to good use negotiating the
use of the Cholsey track for the following week’s fixture, and when G. Carter
left, I sat alone at the table, for a few minutes at least. And then there were none. ‘Beer Matt’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Cholsey CC Played at Pembroke College, 28 August
2005 Cholsey CC won the toss and elected
to bat Cholsey CC won by 55 runs Far from the MCC debuts:
none |
05 / 117 40 over match |
|
Team |
Cholsey CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
S. Haigh |
lbw b Mann |
4 |
|
1 |
- |
1-9 |
|
2 |
P. Jackson |
b Mann |
105 |
|
11 |
- |
6-223 |
|
3 |
D. Evans |
lbw b Mann |
9 |
|
1 |
- |
2-30 |
|
4 |
J. Gilbert |
c Mann b Smith |
25 |
|
4 |
- |
3-84 |
|
5 |
A. Chapman |
c Westmoreland b Hoskins |
23 |
|
5 |
- |
4-137 |
|
6 |
A. Hough |
b Dobner |
25 |
|
3 |
- |
5-197 |
|
7 |
S. Turner |
not out |
16 |
|
2 |
- |
- |
|
8 |
J. Hammond |
b Howarth |
4 |
|
- |
- |
7-239 |
|
9 |
J. Haigh |
not out |
0 |
|
- |
- |
- |
|
10 |
J. Nathaniel |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W7, LB4, B13) |
24 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 7 wickets, 40 overs) |
239 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Dobner |
8 |
1 |
37 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Mann |
8 |
1 |
39 |
3 |
|
|
3 |
Westmoreland |
8 |
1 |
34 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Howarth |
4 |
0 |
18 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Smith |
5 |
0 |
35 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Hotson |
2 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Hoskins |
5 |
0 |
37 |
1 |
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
N. J. Hebbes |
lbw b J. Haigh |
37 |
(57) |
4 |
- |
2-60 |
|
2 |
I. Howarth |
c J. Haigh b Nathaniel |
9 |
(20) |
- |
- |
1-32 |
|
3 |
G. Carter |
lbw b S. Haigh |
29 |
(64) |
2 |
- |
3-92 |
|
4 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
c Jackson b Chapman |
54 |
(57) |
8 |
- |
4-150 |
|
5 |
M. Bullock + |
not out |
27 |
(27) |
3 |
- |
- |
|
6 |
T. P. W. Smith |
b Hough |
2 |
(4) |
- |
- |
5-154 |
|
7 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
b Hough |
4 |
(7) |
- |
- |
6-171 |
|
8 |
A. G. Mann |
run out |
1 |
(3) |
- |
- |
7-173 |
|
9 |
J. D. Hoskins * |
not out |
9 |
(4) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
10 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB3, W8, LB1) |
12 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 7 wickets, 40 overs) |
184 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Hough |
8 |
1 |
25 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
Nathaniel |
8 |
0 |
47 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
J. Haigh |
8 |
0 |
38 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Chapman |
7 |
2 |
29 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
S. Haigh |
4 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Evans |
4 |
0 |
19 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Jackson |
1 |
0 |
12 |
0 |
|
|
MOTM: S. L. P. Dobner Champagne Moment: M. T. Westmoreland’s
catch Buffet
Award: J. C. W. Hotson’s
blackcurrant cheesecake |
Opposition:
V033 / 04 Ground: G011 / 36 Captain: C006 / 40 |