Far from the MCC fines 03.07.05 v Oxford University Offices (h) lost by 15 runs

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Martin	Dissent	Toys out of pram
	Duck	New Bat Avoidance	£0.50
			£0.75
Tony	Playing as if Against the Team	Retrospective of times playing for opposition	£0.25
Steve A	Feigning Injury	Fainting Avoidance	£0.25
Geoff	Impersonating a Clown	Juggled catch
	Calling Avoidance	Everyone else called “Keeper’s!”
	Ball Avoidance	“Stumping requires the ball”
			£0.75
Andrew	Mother Avoidance	Mum wasn’t in when called
	Impersonating a Mummy’s Boy	Phoning Mum during game
	Drinking On The Pitch Avoidance
	Moving Behind the Bowler's Arm	When phoning Mum
			£1.00
Jake	Toiletries Avoidance	Towel
	Toiletries Avoidance	Shower gel
	Duck	At 30 balls, possibly the longest	£0.50
	Drinking On The Pitch	Whilst umpiring; agreed ok with capt. James	£0.50
	Smoking on the Pitch	Despite one-off exemption agreed by skipper	£0.50
	Trigger Finger	Andrew’s hit-wicket that wasn’t
	Bribery and Corruption	Attempted Fine Avoidance for umpiring
	Intimate Showering Avoidance	Waiting until others had finished
	Impersonating a Footballer	Vinnie Jones sliding tackle whilst fielding
			£3.00
Ian	Opening Bowler No Wicket		£0.50
	Sportswear Avoidance	Stealing Ant’s hat then leaving in changing room
	Self Importance	Loosening up for bowling when not
	Impersonating a Tennis Player	Grunting
	Intimate Showering	With Nick
			£1.50
Nick	Missed Run-Out		£0.50
	Self Importance
	Failure to Recognize Own Player	Skipper
	Opening Bowler No Wicket		£0.50
	Sportswear Avoidance	Stealing Ian’s hat, then calling for replacement
	Intimate Showering	With Ian
			£2.00
James H	Possession with Intent To Supply	Driftwood bat
	Self Importance
	Excessive Participation Sport	Rowing for 6 hours before match
	Inappropriate Urination
	Dissent	Sulking after dropped catch
	Dropped Catch	Too casual on a sitter	£0.50
	Intimate Knowledge of Opposition	Psycho once had ‘Physio’ on shirt
			£2.00
Ant	Communication Avoidance	Ian’s Mobile Avoidance re lift to game	£0.25
Richard		Pub Avoidance? Jug Avoidance?	£0.00
		TOTAL	£11.75

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Looking Uber-Smug (overly arrogant and condescending)	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2