“No-MAD Beaten by the Rodents Again”
Match: 05
/ 108
Lost
by 7 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
150 - 5 |
|
D. Edwards 72*, T. Smith
19 |
|
|
|
|
|
Lemmings |
154 - 3 |
|
D. Edwards 1- 7 |
|
|
There is no place like home – or that is what they say. Twickenham the
home of rugby, Madison Square Garden the home of boxing, and Wembley the home
of football [when incompetent sports ministers stop wrangling and finally
rebuild the damn thing]. For the No-MAD, it is Pembroke College Sports Ground
– a secretive and pretty little pitch, flanked by towering trees with a nice
little pavilion where the groundsman, Kev, busies himself making egg
mayonnaise sandwiches for the tea interval. As ever, there was an air of
expectancy for the first home match of the season, and how fitting it should
be blessed with the warmth of sunshine.
The No-MAD shelter from
the sun by the pavilion. After struggling with numbers in recent games, it
was heartening to find the No-MAD bandwagon swelled on this particular day. To complement the eleven cricketers, there
was a twelfth to man the scoreboard whilst armed with Tennent’s
Extra-Strength lager, and a home umpire ferried all the way from Western
Cornwall. Even wives and girlfriends made the effort – so maybe something was
in the air? Or maybe there was fuck all else to do on this lazy afternoon? Skipper J. Hoskins, predictably won the toss, and predictably asked the
Lemmings to chase some leather. It appeared a good day for batting with fine
weather, and nice hard track slightly browned at the edges after the recent
heat wave. So it was something of a surprise when openers I. Howarth and S. Dobner
struggled against the vagaries of a pitch offering plenty of lift and
movement for the Lemming’s attack. After the score had limped to 10 without
loss, Howarth (2) decided to use his thumb to hook a ball into the grateful
hands of a waiting square leg, whilst Dobner (5) decided to escort a straight
ball onto his timber without offering a shot. Quoted as he left the crease,
he asked “why the fuck did I do that?” We don’t know, Steve – but it was
pretty fucking stupid. Ever the man for a crisis, M. Westmoreland (4) came to
the crease, saw the total edge towards the lofty heights of 19 before he
received possibly the ball of the day* - a ripper from J. Baker (5-0-15-3)
which took his off stump. The No-MAD were now deep in the shit
with three of their premier batsmen back in the hutch [quaffing ale].
The Lemmings celebrate
after Westmoreland’s timber is rumbled. It was at this point that D. Edwards and T. Smith forged a worthy 55
run partnership to restore some parity to the game. Smith (19), mixing some
clubbing straight heaves with watchful defence, and Edwards, the most
orthodox of our number, looking totally at ease with his dots and ones. With
Flash departing after an edge behind, N. Hebbes (1) gave the slips further
catching practice to leave the No-MAD on 75 for 5. Short and sweet as they
say, or “a fine strike rate” as Nick was heard to chirp on the pavilion steps
[he would subsequently be fined]. Despite the wobbles around him, D. Edwards continued on his merry way,
never in full flow, but happy to keep the scoreboard ticking over as he
sought assistance from the other end. That help came in the form of one J.
Harris, fresh from his wicket-taking exploits the previous week. This time
Calypso applied himself with the bat, and with the tempo increasing as the
overs dwindled, the duo saw the No-MAD to a commendable 150-5. A healthy
recovery considering the team’s perilous start to the innings. Edwards, red
from his exertions, left the field with 72 not out to his name, and John, 17
not out. Their unbeaten partnership of 75 was just 7 runs shy of the No-MAD
sixth wicket record.
Slow beginnings after
an early collapse. Tea. And the team’s did Kev’s buffet full
justice by making clearances on both tables. There were a few crumbs, but
nothing to write home about. Slightly the heavier after their carnivorous exploits, the No-MAD took
to the field in the hope of dismissing their green opponents for the first time
in years. It didn’t happen [naturally]. A. Mann (8-1-24-0) bowled well from
the off, but got scant reward for the numerous balls that passed the outside
edge, and N. Hebbes (6-0-30-1) was tidy, without ever being threatening.
Martin (3-1-14-1) returned a scalp, as did Edwards (4-1-7-1), but the score
continued to romp along regardless. The Lemmings upped their tempo as the game grew old, and fifties from
Richardson (54) and Williams (57*) saw them home with nearly 4 overs to
spare. The No-MAD had lost by 7 wickets, and had no
cause for complaint really – their fielding had looked tired, their ideas
looked short, and the Lemmings were… the better team on the day. Bloody Lemmings. Should just let
them jump to their deaths off a nasty ‘computerised’ cliff face….
* - Umpire, N. Howarth, referred
to the dismissal of M. Westmoreland post-match as being a “beauty, pitching
in line, leaving him, and dusting him up.” One guesses Moo’s luck must change
soon…. ‘Spam’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Lemmings Played at Pembroke College, 26 June
2005 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to field Lemmings won by 7 wkts Far from the MCC debuts:
none |
05 / 108 40 over match |
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
I. Howarth |
c Richardson b J. Baker |
2 |
(16) |
- |
- |
1-10 |
|
2 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
b J. Baker |
5 |
(21) |
- |
- |
2-14 |
|
3 |
D. M. Edwards |
not out |
72 |
(119) |
6 |
- |
- |
|
4 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
b J. Baker |
4 |
(7) |
- |
- |
3-19 |
|
5 |
T. P. W. Smith |
c Richardson b McKechnie |
19 |
(46) |
2 |
- |
4-74 |
|
6 |
N. J. Hebbes |
c P. Baker b Graham |
1 |
(2) |
- |
- |
5-75 |
|
7 |
J. Harris |
not out |
17 |
(36) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
8 |
M. Bullock + |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
A. G. Mann |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
J. D. Hoskins * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB7, W5, LB7, B11) |
30 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 5 wickets, 40 overs) |
150 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
J. Baker |
5 |
0 |
15 |
3 |
|
|
2 |
Chandler |
8 |
1 |
13 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
French |
5 |
3 |
5 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Goodlad |
5 |
1 |
15 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Graham |
5 |
0 |
25 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
McKechnie |
7 |
0 |
30 |
1 |
|
|
7 |
Fitt |
5 |
0 |
32 |
0 |
|
|
Team |
Lemmings |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
P. Richardson + |
b Edwards |
54 |
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
M. Goodlad |
lbw b Hebbes |
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
G. French |
b Westmoreland |
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
4 |
P. Williams |
not out |
57 |
|
|
|
|
|
5 |
R. Fitt |
not out |
8 |
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
M. Widnall |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
C. Chandler |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
G. McKechnie |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
P. Baker * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
J. Baker |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
R. Graham |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W10, B7) |
17 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 3 wickets, 35.2 overs) |
154 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Mann |
8 |
1 |
24 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Hebbes |
6 |
0 |
30 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Dobner |
3 |
1 |
15 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Westmoreland |
3 |
1 |
14 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Hoskins |
6 |
0 |
23 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Harris |
4 |
1 |
28 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Edwards |
4 |
1 |
7 |
1 |
|
|
8 |
Howarth |
1.2 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
|
|
MOTM: D. M. Edwards Champagne Moment: D. M. Edwards’ crazy
wicket celebration Buffet
Award: J. Harris’ strawberry soufflé
|
Opposition:
V024 / 05 Ground: G011 / 30 Captain: C006 / 35 |