“MAD Grumble their way to Record Win”
Match: 06
/ 132
Won
by 169 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
242 - 6 |
|
G. Littlechild
117*, I. Howarth 49 |
|
|
|
|
|
Hanney CC |
73 |
|
A. Mann 3 - 12, M. Reeves
3 - 15 |
|
|
There are some people who are never happy and never will be. Like the
lottery winner who complains that winning millions has ruined her life, or
the man who has married a beautiful, intelligent woman who likes football,
beer and poker, and who still regrets all the other women he will never have.
Or the Australian cricket supporter who thinks that eight Ashes victories in
succession is nowhere near enough. But the players of Far From The MCC have
never been like that. Happy in their good fortunes and content in their daily
lives, they have rarely been heard to complain about petty injustices or
trifling problems. Until last Sunday, that is.
“No worries
– I’ll sort the fucking kit bag again! Don’t worry about me!” Rain had been threatening, and the clouds were still having their say,
but a brisk wind had dried the Hanney pitch – a slow greentop
in the Cholsey style, yet not as riddled with rabbit burrows or landmine
craters – and so the game was on. Agreeing to win a coinless toss against
veteran Hanney skipper D. Johns, Mad captain I. Howarth offered to bat
against the bowlers of the home team, and it wasn’t long before the moaning
had begun. M. Westmoreland hardly complained at all after going for 17 with the
score on 26, but R. Hadfield, playing his first game for The Mad in six
years, was heard to grumble when dismissed for a duck, that this was his
first game in six years, and what had he got? A big fat egg. Nought. Zero.
Nothing. J. Hoskins (4), promoted to second spot after spending three months
padded up under the Big Tree At Pembroke waiting for a bat, was heard to
grumble at his misfortune when he was out bowled deflecting the ball from
pads to stumps. N. Hebbes (24) was next to go, and didn’t so much grumble as
mutter incomprehensibly when for the second game in a row he stood on his own
stumps and had to give himself out because no-one else had noticed or cared.
Whinge,
moan, grumble…. With the score at 70-4 and the pitch and outfield recalcitrant, I.
Howarth strode to the crease and began slapping the ball in the air. Straight
to the field. Half a dozen dropped catches later, as the youthful Hanney team
lost their way, and one of their old hands just lost it, Howarth was
complaining that, although he clearly wanted to go, nobody wanted him to
leave. Three more chances decked, and he was really pissed off. When on 49 he
was bowled – by a full toss on leg
which by all rights should have been smote to the boundary to bring up his
fifty – Howarth was heard to grumble that the delivery had been a no ball. But the damage had been done – to Hanney, that is. Because at the other
end G. Littlechild had been working his way towards a new Mad individual
record high score of 117 not out, with 16 fours and a six on the slow
outfield. It was M. Bullock (3) and S. Dobner (8 n.o.)
who helped him get there, and Hanney were looking down the barrel of 243 to
win.
The price
of beer at the Black Horse provided another good moan. The Mad took the field, and the moaning began early. A. Mann (3-12) was
doing fine, but still grumbled that the breaks weren’t going his way.
Meanwhile, S. Dobner (0-13) at fine leg, hoping to bag wickets to add to his
tally, was muttering under his breath about the Convict, about general
crapness and his crap job and the crap luck he was having with the ball that
day. G. Littlechild complained that he never got any stumpings, and M.
Bullock (1-2) didn’t like the fact he had to keep
walking from mid-on to mid-on between overs. R. Hadfield (1-10) reckoned the
ball never came to him in the field, just like it hadn’t done six years
before against OUP, while M. Westmoreland out on the boundary was moaning
that nobody ever helped him with the kit bag, and why did he have to stand
out there on the bloody rope the whole time anyway? If the other slack
bastards could be bothered to get themselves fit and learn how to catch and
throw then maybe he could have a turn hanging round close to the wicket just
like them. J. Hoskins (2-21) complained between deliveries about the lack of
sandwiches at tea, and M. Reeves (3-15) muttered that nobody appreciated how
many unplayable balls he was bowling, but suddenly M. Bullock had taken the
last wicket, and it was all over. “Oh bloody hell, is that it??” someone
said.
“Haha. £1 for a crappy hot dog? Taking the piss right?” That was it, for Hanney. A team of primarily youngsters, they had
played with great heart, but no great luck. The only resistance came from
respected Hanney skipper, Dave Johns, who remained 10 not out and some other
guy [Green] who slapped a few boundaries before getting out. As for The Mad,
a record win, by 169 runs, and a record 117 not out for Gary Littlechild.
Record record record blah
blah blah grumble grumble. Later, at the pub, M. Reeves grumbled that he’d scored only nine runs
all year, and a few other people muttered about this or that, and then
someone turned to Jake and said, “Hey you haven’t complained all day!” “Oh,”
said Jake, “I have plenty of stuff to grumble about just like everybody else.
I just can’t remember what it is.” ‘Blocker’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Hanney CC Played at Hanney, 20 August 2006 Hanney CC won the toss and elected to field Far from the MCC
won by 169 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
06 / 132 40 over match |
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
N. J. Hebbes |
hit wicket b Johns |
24 |
(49) |
3 |
- |
4-70 |
|
2 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
c Hilliam b
Harrison |
17 |
(25) |
3 |
- |
1-26 |
|
3 |
R. J. B. Hadfield |
b Harrison |
0 |
(7) |
- |
- |
2-34 |
|
4 |
J. D. Hoskins |
b Harrison |
4 |
(9) |
- |
- |
3-50 |
|
5 |
G. S. Littlechild + |
not out |
117 |
(88) |
16 |
1 |
- |
|
6 |
I. Howarth * |
b Tarry |
49 |
(48) |
5 |
- |
5-178 |
|
7 |
M. Bullock |
run out |
3 |
(12) |
- |
- |
6-203 |
|
8 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
not out |
8 |
(7) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
M. K. Reeves |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
A. G. Mann |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB7, W9, B4) |
20 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 6 wickets, 40 overs) |
242 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Harrison |
8 |
1 |
30 |
3 |
|
|
2 |
Pearce |
8 |
0 |
34 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Green |
5 |
0 |
27 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Johns |
5 |
0 |
22 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Wilkinson |
2 |
0 |
22 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Jones |
4 |
1 |
27 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Tarry |
2 |
0 |
19 |
1 |
|
|
8 |
Hilliam |
2 |
0 |
13 |
1 |
|
|
9 |
Hollier |
2 |
0 |
16 |
0 |
|
|
10 |
Cooper |
2 |
0 |
30 |
0 |
|
|
Team |
Hanney CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
D. Laye + |
c Westmoreland b Mann |
0 |
|
- |
- |
1-0 |
|
2 |
K. Tarry |
c and b Mann |
2 |
|
- |
- |
2-3 |
|
3 |
R. Cooper |
b Mann |
8 |
|
1 |
- |
4-44 |
|
4 |
M. Pearce |
b Reeves |
7 |
|
1 |
- |
3-12 |
|
5 |
R. Green |
lbw b Hoskins |
32 |
|
5 |
- |
5-48 |
|
6 |
D. Johns |
not out |
10 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
|
7 |
N. Wilkinson |
b Reeves |
8 |
|
1 |
- |
6-56 |
|
8 |
C. Hollier |
b Reeves |
2 |
|
- |
- |
7-58 |
|
9 |
B. Hilliam |
st Littlechild b Hoskins |
1 |
|
- |
- |
8-59 |
|
10 |
S. Harrison |
b Hadfield |
1 |
|
- |
- |
9-70 |
|
11 |
S. Jones |
c Reeves b Bullock |
2 |
|
- |
- |
10-73 |
|
|
Extras |
|
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 26.3 overs) |
73 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Mann |
6 |
0 |
12 |
3 |
|
|
2 |
Dobner |
6 |
3 |
13 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Hoskins |
6 |
2 |
21 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Reeves |
5 |
1 |
15 |
3 |
|
|
5 |
Hadfield |
2 |
0 |
10 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Bullock |
1.3 |
0 |
2 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: G. S. Littlechild Champagne Moment: S. L. P. Dobner’s quite
hilarious dropped catch Buffet
Award: R. J. B. Hadfield’s vanilla
buns (with extra icing) |
Opposition:
V041 / 02 Ground: G030 / 01 Captain: C007 / 18 |