Far from the MCC fines 20.08.06 v Hanney CC (a) won by 169 runs

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Steve D	Grumbling	About 2 hour journey
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Comedy Fielding	Running in circles
	Opening Bowler No Wicket
	Average Protection
	Dissing The Team	Dissing Ant's bowling
	Grumbling	About fielding on boundary
	Geography Avoidance	Not finding pub before game in village with only one street
	Pub Avoidance
	Being Sledged by a Small Child	The incoming bat re dropped catch
			£2.75
Martin	Jug Avoidance	Not scoring a ton
	Grumbling	About fielding at cow corner
	Dissing The Team	"You're all a bunch of bastards!" re fines
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Grumbling	About always being in charge of kit bag
	Kit Bag Abuse	Trying to get more kit in than would fit
	Stealing an Umpire's Coat	Probably belonging to the opposition
			£2.00
Jake	Possessing a Lighter in Marlborough Colours
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Hat Avoidance	Leaving behind after game
	Impersonating Jesus	Long hair and beard
	Exhaust Pipe Abuse	Getting lift from area surrounded by speed bumps
	Impersonating John Inman	Mincing whilst taking drinks off field
	Drinks-Making Incompetence	Trying to use polystyrene cups for cold drinks
	Lighter Theft	Stealing Vicki's lighter at last game
	Communication Avoidance	Forgetting arrangements re lift from Ian
	Inappropriate Flirting	Being chatted up by opposition - complemented on socks
			£2.75
Ian	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Impersonating a Cat	Having at least 9 lives batting
	Toss Avoidance
	Losing The Toss	Not winning it
	Bribery and Corruption	Bribing opposition captain to say toss took place
	Calling a Witness to Fines Committee	Opposition captain re whether toss took place
	Jug Avoidance	Out for 49
	Communication Avoidance	Forgetting arrangements re picking up Jake
	Comedy Fielding	Running in for catch that then sailed over head
	Singles Chart Avoidance	Recliner EP
	Blaming Tools	Dissing the pitch
	Poor Field Placement	Mid-on avoidance
	Joy-Riding a Skoda	Ramming James' VW
	Joy-Riding a Skoda	Not finding reverse gear
			£3.75
Mike R	Grumbling	About always being fined for Marlborough shirt
	Sportswear Avoidance	Wearing a Marlborough shirt
	Self Importance	Continually fielding off own bowling
	Grumbling	About continually not getting a bat
	Impersonating Elvis Presley	Blue plastic shoes
	Feeling Lonely	Missing Dan (fellow ex-Marlborough player)
	Self Importance	Claiming delivery was "unplayable"
			£1.75
Nick	Comedy Dismissal	Treading on stumps for the second time this season
	Inappropriate Dancing	In the slips
	Inappropriate Flirting	With James during Fines Committee re dancing in slips
	Impersonating a Speedboat	Speeding well past the stumps when running
	Sportswear Avoidance	Misplacing glove
			£1.25
Richard	Self Importance	Assuming the nickname 'Dips'
	Grumbling	About lack of action in field
	Knocking-In Avoidance	Bat did not sound knocked-in
	Match Avoidance	Not playing for 6 years
	Self Importance	Claiming was getting a lot of spin
	Duck		£0.50
			£1.75
James H	Dissent	Pub abuse during Fines Committee	£0.50
	Grumbling	About lack of teas
	Possessing a Lighter in Marlborough Colours
	Lighter Theft	Stealing 'Jake's' lighter
	Self Importance	Denying ownership of lighter
	Concentration Avoidance During Fines Committee	Whilst trying to engineer the perfect crime
	Impersonating a Builder	Shorts covered in paint
	Impersonating a Schoolboy	"No, sir," to Gary (teacher)
	Fantasy Cricket Avoidance	Not bringing the team/data sheets
	Inappropriate Flirting	Being chatted up by Nick during Fines Committee re dancing in slips
	Sportswear Avoidance	No studs
			£3.00
Matt	Inappropriate Dancing	In the slips
	Grumbling	About fielding at long on both ends
	Slow Running	Not troubling the third umpire
			£0.75
Gary	Leaving The Job At Home Avoidance	Coaching the opposition
	Impersonating Chris Read	Rumours are that they are one and the same person
	Average Protection	117 not out
	Pub Avoidance
	Geography Avoidance	Not finding pub before game in village with only one street
	Fine Entrapment	Causing Nick to have to run like a speedboat
	Sportswear Avoidance	Jumper
			£1.75
Ant	Expressing Dark Thoughts	Looking forward to winter
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts
	Impersonating a Footballer	Stealing James' catch
	Impersonating Worzel Gummidge	With hair style
	Failing the Citizenship Test	Not knowing who Worzel Gummidge was
	Dissent	Whilst bowling	£0.50
	Exhaust Pipe Abuse	Getting lift from area surrounded by speed bumps
	Grumbling	About lack of teas
			£2.25
		TOTAL	£23.75

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber [anything] – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2