“Honesty Inspector’s Report”

Match: 06 / 133

Won by 4 wkts

Team	Total
Cholsey CC	138
D. Edwards 2 - 2, S. Dobner 2 - 12
FFTMCC	139 - 6
G. Littlechild 73, A. Cavanagh 16

It was brought to my attention that the centrally based Oxford cricket outfit, the Far from the MCC, had acquired the services of one Mike Clarke. Billy [Liar], as he is affectionately known by his teammates, is one of the more high-profile characters residing on our extensive Bullshit Database back at the Inspectorate Headquarters, and so I was more than a little concerned to discover he was now plying his trade in the sport of friendly cricket.

Ball-tampering. Anything goes with Billy….

Watching his Pembroke College debut, I was aghast at his influence on proceedings. I was witness to a probable boundary that wasn’t signalled (a cock-up involving a gentleman known as the QC and his Skipper), a fairly clear run out of the would-be high-scoring Mad batsman G. Littlechild turned down (early in his innings by his own umpire), several lbw shouts for balls sailing harmlessly down the leg-side (and abuse of the umpire thereafter), and most worrying of all – a match report claiming to have witnessed records for catches taken in a game when in fact there were none.

I have passed my findings onto the local council who will hopefully intervene if Mr. Clarke wishes to appear in Mad colours in the future. His presence is surely a stain on the dignity of this most gentlemanly of sports?

‘Billy Liar’