“Neo Shines as OUP are Caught Out”
Match: 06
/ 130
Won
by 93 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
212 - 7 |
|
G. Littlechild 73, N. Hebbes
28 |
|
|
|
|
|
Oxford University Press |
119 - 9 |
|
D. Shorten 3 - 16, S. Dobner
3 - 22 |
|
|
“Brilliant!” “Amazing!” “Astounding!” “Phenomenal!” “Unreal!” “Truly awesome, dude!” Those are just some of the words that were directed at The MAD’s
rusting N. Hebbes after he snaffled a beauty at first / second slip midway
through the OUP reply. It was followed up by a team bundle in which the
Titanick was well and truly scuppered below deck and sent to the ocean floor
as celebrations and fireworks heralded his feat. But we’re getting slightly
ahead of ourselves here, so let’s rewind the day….
The July of 2006 was just baked in sunshine. Another glorious day in a wonderful month for weather saw Jordan Hill
swamped by travelling No-Mad players and spectators alike. A quick head-count
would reveal several members of the Edwards clan, numerous members of Barrow
Boy clan, a wash of Westmoreland’s, a pikey, a stonehead, a Skipper’s bit on the side, a scouser, a bird
who liked the scouser, an old couple nobody knew [but who seemed friendly
enough if you poured them some coffee], and a few tennis players who flirted
from court to boundary line. It was a real crowd for once, and the nomadic
support cheered when Captain I. Howarth won the toss and elected to bat
first. D. Edwards and the in-form M. Westmoreland would front The MAD innings,
and despite the pitch displaying alarming signs of bounce early on, they
proceeded to a partnership of 47 before Moo (16) was caught on the drive.
Edwards (28), perhaps disappointingly for his family enclosure, fell soon after
when dragging one on.
Hands up, if you think the skipper’s batting
order is shit. There would now follow a passage of play whereby England keeper G.
Jones (nickname G. Littlechild or Neo for short) and the happy go-lucky N.
Hebbes, would lay the foundation for a slog-fest later in the innings. Mixing
stout defence with cavalier aggression, they added a sublime 94, before
Hebbes (28) inexplicably gave himself out hit wicket after the OUP noticed a
bail had been dislodged. A fine display of sporting conduct, and a lesson to
us all [dickhead]. Nick’s dismissal was quickly
followed by that of an out-of-sorts A. Cavanagh (1), and the eventual demise
of the mercurial G. Littlechild (73), finally shirking the nervous 20’s that
had blighted his season thus far. It was all now left for the late order cowboy show to roll into town.
“Hurrah” cried the crowd in Twenty20 mode as music blared from the non-existent
speakers. Howarth hoiked and cowed his way to a merry 27, Parkinson mooed an
agricultural 10, whilst Dobner and A. Mann protected their averages with
robust scores of 1* and 0* respectively. All this late fun had the FFTMCC finish
on a heartening 212 for 7.
“Any point me knocking this in? Batting number
ten and all that….” Tea, and not a bad spread at all, with the egg flan of a particularly
appeal. Half-time entertainment would be provided by the Cob Brothers (Stevie
D and Stevie P), who exchanged the usual verbal sparring at each other’s apparent
inability to avoid cobbing. There was no defining winner in this duel, but
Mincer [P] would later lay a marker down in the field whilst bowling…. With the sun slowly disappearing behind the clouds the OUP innings
began their reply. S. Parkinson (8-4-19-1) bowled with his customary nip and zeal,
his only blight being a second spell cob for crap down leg side. At the other
end, antipodean A. Mann, had his namesake [and OUP Skipper, R. Mann] scratching
around before presenting a casual caught and bowled. I say casual, as that is
the manner in which Antony pulled it out the air. One-handed, and casual and
all that. It just slapped in the centre of that huge left mitt of his. And as
Ant would tell you, it was “no big deal”.
Postcard perfect – the
view towards the Jordan Hill pavilion. The Paper Boys had made 37 before the next stunning catch occurred.
This time it was far less casual and the type that sticks in your head long
after the game has been banished from the memory. S. Dobner (8-0-22-3),
bowling with rediscovered enthusiasm, found the edge of Bowell’s bat and saw
the 882 feet 8 inch R. M. S. Titanick somehow turn starboard and pouch the
ball one-handed at first slip! Pure reflexes, and quite how anyone with a
gross tonnage of 46,328 tons and a top speed of 23 knots could react so
quickly was staggering. The horns subsequently sounded on the vessel and
ticker tape rained down on the party. Great stuff, Mr. Hebbes – a true
candidate for the end of season voting. The champagne would later be smashed
against his hull to mark the event. Debutant D. Shorten (7-1-16-3) would now demonstrate his impressive
accuracy bowling seam up, and it was all far too much for a below-par OUP as
they slumped to 65 for 8. Unfortunately, this would signal a tepid last hour
or so, whereby the home team, unable to overhaul The MAD total, would simply
try and bat out the overs to preserve some dignity [and why the hell not?]
This they accomplished despite the twirlings of J.
Hoskins (7-1-24-0) and the apple and custard pies of D. Edwards (2-0-15-0),
who both failed to induce the obdurate Halls and Mills into any rash
slogging. 40 overs complete, and with the crowd now safely tucked up in bed,
the OUP left the field under a star-filled sky with 119 to their name. The
FFTMCC had registered their fifth consecutive win by a resounding 93 runs and
one wonders just how good they have actually become? I would say we are casually brilliant, dude.
Sun, booze and cricket – it don’t get much better
on a Sunday. Quote of the Day: “Fannies!!” -
S. Parkinson exclaiming a degree of dissatisfaction in his own bowling after
aiming 10 feet wide of leg stump at the tailenders. ‘Slogger’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Oxford University Press Played at Jordan Hill, 30 July 2006 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 93 runs Far from the MCC debuts: Dave
Shorten (96) |
06 / 130 40 over match |
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
D. M. Edwards |
b Miles |
28 |
(54) |
6 |
- |
2-60 |
|
2 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
c Bowmaker b Walsh |
16 |
(28) |
3 |
- |
1-47 |
|
3 |
G. S. Littlechild + |
b Miles |
73 |
(79) |
10 |
- |
4-181 |
|
4 |
N. J. Hebbes |
hit wicket b Mann |
28 |
(36) |
3 |
- |
3-154 |
|
5 |
A. Cavanagh |
c Thompson b Miles |
1 |
(8) |
- |
- |
5-182 |
|
6 |
I. Howarth * |
c Manley b Morgan |
27 |
(19) |
3 |
- |
6-209 |
|
7 |
S. B. Parkinson |
run out |
10 |
(14) |
- |
- |
7-211 |
|
8 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
not out |
1 |
(2) |
- |
- |
- |
|
9 |
A. G. Mann |
not out |
0 |
(0) |
- |
- |
- |
|
10 |
D. Shorten |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
J. D. Hoskins |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB2, W9, LB3, B14) |
28 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 7 wickets, 40 overs) |
212 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Mills |
8 |
2 |
29 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Morgan |
8 |
1 |
47 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Walsh |
8 |
1 |
40 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Miles |
8 |
1 |
25 |
3 |
|
|
5 |
Manley |
1.1 |
0 |
10 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Mann |
6.5 |
0 |
44 |
1 |
|
|
Team |
Oxford University
Press |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
Bowmaker |
b Parkinson |
7 |
|
1 |
- |
1-15 |
|
2 |
R. Mann * |
c and b Mann |
3 |
|
- |
- |
2-15 |
|
3 |
Bowell |
c Hebbes b Dobner |
6 |
|
1 |
- |
3-37 |
|
4 |
Miles |
b Shorten |
8 |
|
1 |
- |
4-37 |
|
5 |
J. Walsh |
b Shorten |
2 |
|
- |
- |
5-40 |
|
6 |
J. Thompson |
b Dobner |
8 |
|
1 |
- |
7-64 |
|
7 |
M. Walsh |
b Dobner |
12 |
|
2 |
- |
6-53 |
|
8 |
I. Hall |
b Shorten |
28 |
|
2 |
- |
9-119 |
|
9 |
Morgan |
run out (Littlechild/Dobner) |
0 |
|
- |
- |
8-65 |
|
10 |
Mills |
not out |
25 |
|
4 |
- |
- |
|
11 |
D. Manley |
not out |
0 |
|
- |
- |
- |
|
|
Extras |
(W14, LB2, B4) |
20 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 9 wickets, 40 overs) |
119 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Mann |
8 |
3 |
16 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Parkinson |
8 |
4 |
19 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Shorten |
7 |
1 |
16 |
3 |
|
|
4 |
Dobner |
8 |
0 |
22 |
3 |
|
|
5 |
Hoskins |
7 |
1 |
24 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Edwards |
2 |
0 |
15 |
0 |
|
|
MOTM: D. Shorten Champagne Moment: N. Hebbes’ memorable
slip-catch Buffet
Award: D. M. Edwards’ holier than
holy custard pies |
Opposition:
V019 / 06 Ground: G013 / 06 Captain: C007 / 16 |