Far from the MCC fines 29.04.07 v Wootton & Boars Hill CC (a) lost by 4 runs

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Ade S	Sportswear Avoidance	Not wearing club shirt
	Impersonating a White Matrix	T-shirt design
	Self Importance	Bringing two bats… DNB
	Impersonating a Footballer	Wayne Rooney style celebration
	Impersonating a Mister Man
	Self Importance	Framing shirt instead of wearing it
	Pitch Abuse	Sliding on knees on pitch in celebration
			£1.75
Steve D	Bullying a Small Child	Hitting six directly towards crèche
	Pitch Avoidance	Bowling 1st ball wide so couldn’t be hit for six
	Aggressive Peacemaking
	Self Importance	"My best shot ever"
			£1.00
Martin	Self Importance	Fielding better off own bowling
	Golden Duck		£1.00
	Impersonating a Footballer	Tipping one or two round the post
	Impersonating David Bellamy	Hanging around in hedges
	Instigating a Collapse	Predicting Thorn's dismissal
			£2.00
Geoff	Impersonating a Footballer	Fielding with feet
	Comedy Fielding	Paper-like defence
	Impersonating an American	Driving ram-raiding Jeep pick-up
	Duck		£0.50
			£1.25
Jake	Self Importance	Debating with Fines Committee
	Impersonating Eric Clapton	Hair
	Suicidal Running	Whilst apparently stuck in glue
	Inappropriate Flirting	With old lady at wrong house who was 'just getting dressed'
	Geography Avoidance	Right house no. but wrong street to collect Dan
			£1.25
Ian	Self Importance	Electing to bowl first
	Suicidal Running	Trying to run out Dan
	History Avoidance	Electing to bowl first
	Failure to Recognize Own Player	Mistook Martin for John
	Failure to Recognize Own Player	Mistook John for Martin
	Captaincy Incompetence	Failing to control players
	Ball Avoidance	Lofted cover drive that wasn't
			£1.75
Mike R	Self Importance	Thought would get 5th wicket
	Jug Avoidance	4 wickets
	Carrot Avoidance	Lacking snowman's nose
	Impersonating a Snowman	By manner of hat-wearing
			£1.00
Thornton	Batting Whilst Unfit through Drink or Drugs	Several Stellas
	Abusing a Team Mate	Threatening Mike C
	Smoking on the Pitch		£0.50
			£1.00
Gary	Winding Up The Umpire	"It was out"
	Duck		£0.50
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts	Re stumping decision
	Dissent	After stumping decision	£0.50
			£1.50
John	Pub Avoidance	After game
	Poor Field Placement	Asking skipper to field on picnic table
	Fine Entrapment	Pushing Thorn on pitch when smoking
	Golden Duck		£1.00
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts	Grudge from LBW given by Martin 4 years ago
			£2.00
Dan	New Bat Avoidance	Did not hit ball after swapping bats
	Winding Up The Umpire	"It was miles out"
	Canine Fraud	Some other black Labrador was present
	Instigating a Collapse
	Self Importance	Trying to get Ian to bat sensibly
			£1.25
		TOTAL	£15.75

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber [anything] – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2