“Tour Diary: Day 1”

All hail the wishing tower….

August 2007 already - the tour bags left untouched since 2005 hauled down from the loft. The club kit bag which only a few use and a different few ever carry awoken from hibernation and clunked down the stairs. Minehead and West Somerset OS map shredded, a new shiny Hastings and Sussex Coast unveiled. Beer kegs, check, poker chips, check, Jim Bowen talking keyring check, transportation – bugger!

“You heard Stevie P wants to captain a tour game? Haha.”

Reevsie flooded, P important meeting in Heathrow, public transport with that kit bag - P meeting cancelled, P’s maggots in stinking rubbish drowned - Sussex bound.

Howarth calling - ignore or answer - I’m sure everyone has the same cunumdrum? Answer - “we four hours pier are James at me and John - hic! Eastbourne arrive P underroute Reeves?” As if we never left the tour. Mein Head, Mein Kampf, Mein Arse.

The Red Arrows were part of the 2007 Eastbourne Air Show.

Arriving Eastbourne, via decoy roundabout – not a real roundabout – don’t be fooled. Heading brown signs, right, brown signs not left brown signs heading Seafront. Questing the Wishing tower, the monument, everybody knows it, you can’t miss it – Seafront West – see it for miles.

Road closed – Airbourne ‘07 – pass MARTELO tower right left right hotel – bingo. Bingo, hotel, ballroom, tearoom, chip shop, Eastbourne – seaside, sunshine. No Wishing tower, no hoping tower, no monument – just a Martelo tower Hoskins!? – Inlanders!

A good tour diet is paramount to performance on the field.

Fish and chips and ready for ale. Seaside town, sailors, crap pubs, head inland and find a Weatherspoons – average age less than 55 - 1.68 per pint – game on. Homing beacon established to all Madsters – let the frivolities begin. They arrive 2x2 then 4x4 then Jake as if it were always so. Much beer, much jesting – tour again.

Late beer sought, locals asked, Millets ignored - late night camping is huge in Eastbourne. Kebab anyone? Mr. Howarth? Room party, German keg in coffee cups – 3am eternal.

All hail the Wishing Tower….

“Jake – enough pharmaceuticals in your drink!”

‘Titanick’