Far
from the MCC fines
26.04.09 v Wootton & Boars Hill CC
(a) lost by 43 runs
Recorded
Fines
25p unless otherwise stated.
|
Name |
Fine |
Reason |
Cost
|
|
Dave E. |
Golden Duck |
Bat missed ball, ball hit stumps |
£1.00 |
|
|
Cultural Ignorance |
Not performing a Haka at start of game |
|
|
|
Alcohol Avoidance |
Low level alcohol consumption at lunch |
|
|
|
Poor Pre-match Net Performance |
Trying too hard |
|
|
|
(Donation) |
Lack of small change due to recent banking
collapse |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Matt |
Duck Avoidance |
He brought
it, but there wasn’t a pond |
|
|
|
TVR Avoidance |
He didn’t
bring it |
|
|
|
Disrespecting TVR |
Apparently
he wants something with a decent boot |
|
|
|
Prescott Impersonation |
Caught
with his gloves off |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.00 |
|
JP |
Average Protection |
Willing
Dave E. to take a swipe |
|
|
|
Dropped Catch |
Ball hit
hands, then ground |
£0.50 |
|
|
Short shorts Avoidance |
We know he
owns a pair |
|
|
|
Over Use Of Suspense |
Waiting
until final ball of spell to take a wicket |
|
|
|
Fraternising With The Enemy |
Pretending
he’s friends with everyone in Australia |
|
|
|
Poverty |
Poor
investment choices |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.75 |
|
Martin |
Losing Toss |
He wanted
us to field in the sun |
|
|
|
Golden Duck Avoidance |
Twice is
unlucky, 3 times would be a habit |
|
|
|
Comedy Fielding |
Grass can
be a funny old thing |
|
|
|
Artificial Wicket Confusion |
Grass can
be a funny old thing |
|
|
|
Listening To Ian |
He’s the
only one who can understand him |
|
|
|
Low Self-Esteem |
Listening
to Ian |
|
|
|
Failing To Live Up to Expectations |
Time will
tell |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.75 |
|
Dave S. |
Cultural Ignorance |
Thinking
Dave E was an Aussie |
|
|
|
Talking To Women of Non-Wife Kind |
Distracted
in field by female admirers |
|
|
|
Pub Avoidance |
He’s got
plenty of cider at home |
|
|
|
Causing Mild Panic |
Arriving a
last minute despite living locally |
|
|
|
Minor Cob |
Disputing
living locally |
|
|
|
Espionage Avoidance |
Not
frequenting the drinking dens of the opposition despite living locally |
|
|
|
Opening Bowler No Wicket |
Neglected
to realise the importance of his job |
£0.50 |
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Ian L. |
Duck |
Bat missed
ball, ball hit stumps |
£0.50 |
|
|
Wearing Children’s Shoes |
Likes
Velcro |
|
|
|
Salsa In The Field |
Cricket
talent is lacking |
|
|
|
Sulk |
Cannot
except that cricket talent is lacking |
|
|
|
Over Keenness |
Needs to
make up for lack of cricket talent |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.50 |
|
J-Mo |
Living In A Fantasy World |
Sometimes
reality can be scary |
|
|
|
Helmet Rejection |
Take it or
leave it |
|
|
|
Hypochondriac |
Dismal
attempt to fake Swine Flu |
|
|
|
Mini-Cob |
Not really
a cob, more an expression of joy |
|
|
|
Potential Rebellion |
Disputing
cob accusation |
|
|
|
(Donation) |
Lack of
small change due to recent banking collapse |
£0.75 |
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Darley |
Toe Cap Avoidance |
Over
intensive front foot impact |
|
|
|
No Gloves |
Could be nasty |
|
|
|
No Box |
Could be
very nasty |
|
|
|
No Cap |
Bad
hair-do revealed |
|
|
|
Selling Illegal Kit |
Living up
to his name |
|
|
|
(Donation) |
Lack of
small change due to recent banking collapse |
£0.75 |
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Dan |
Duck Avoidance |
He brought
it, but forgot the plum sauce |
|
|
|
Bribing Umpire |
He was
plucking his duck, despite lack of plum sauce |
|
|
|
Not Bringing Full Batting Skills To
Bear At Crease |
Was
shaping up well in the nets |
|
|
|
Heavy Sighing |
Getting
angry is not an option |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.00 |
|
Ian H. |
Ball Avoidance |
Lack of
spatial awareness due to over indulgence (over last 20 years) |
|
|
|
Comedy Dismissal |
Lack of
usual bat movement |
|
|
|
Weak Bladder Display |
Lack of
bladder control due to over indulgence (over last 20 years) |
|
|
|
Losing The Toss |
He didn’t
stand a chance |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.00 |
|
Steve D. |
Being Dissed By Wife |
Required
for childcare duties |
|
|
|
Childcare Avoidance |
Insisted
on batting |
|
|
|
Suicidal Running |
‘Yes, No,
Come on!’ |
|
|
|
Fines Avoidance |
Repaying
childcare debt |
|
|
|
Harassing Umpire |
The Laws
of Cricket are open to interpretation |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.25 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
£17.25 |
*
Special
Rates
|
Indiscretion |
Cost |
|
Duck |
£0.50 |
|
Golden Duck |
£1.00 |
|
Diamond or Platinum Duck |
£2.00 |
|
Out Playing Reverse-sweep /
Switch-hit |
£1.00 |
|
Dropped Catch |
£0.50 |
|
Opening Bowler No Wicket |
£0.50 |
|
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance |
£0.50 |
|
Smoking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Drinking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Missed Stumping |
£0.50 |
|
Missed Run-Out |
£0.50 |
|
Fines' Folder Abuse |
£0.50 |
|
Impersonating Billy Liar |
£0.50 |
|
Having a Major Cob |
£0.50 |
|
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter
meltdown) |
£1.00 |
|
Uber [anything] – particularly
arrogant, smug or condescending |
£0.50 |
|
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning |
£0.50 |
|
Insulting the Fines Committee
Chairman |
£1.00 |
|
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum
limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause” |
£1.00 |
|
Swearing in Front of Kids |
£2.50 |
|
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain) |
£5.00 |
|
Dissent (to On-field Umpires) |
£5.00 |
|
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose) |
x2 |