“Radio 5 Live Covers the MAD”
Match: 09
/ 182
Won
by 6 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
St. Clements
Strollers |
119 - 3 |
|
I. Howarth 1 - 4 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
123 - 4 |
|
D. Shorten 41, D. Edwards
35* |
|
|
We
now go over to the Radio 5 Live commentary team at Magdalen College for the
much anticipated Twenty20 match between the St. Clements Strollers and the
Far from the MCC…. Aggers: “Good evening to our listeners, and I’m happy to
report the weather, albeit grey, is dry, so play should get underway as soon
as the Strollers arrive.” Boycott: “This is ludicrous! How can a host team not
arrive at the ground on time?” Aggers: “I believe there’s been a problem near
Wallingford on the approach road – several of their team come from that
direction.” Boycott: “Nonsense. I woulda
bloody walked rather than turn up late.”
“Thorn, you know my
hero Boycott is here today, right?” Arlo White: “I thought it most generous of the Mad skipper,
Mr. Westmoreland to allow the Strollers the opportunity of batting first -
especially after he won the toss. Very chivalrous of the chap.” Boycott: “Bloody idiot! What’s the point in winning tha toss if you’re just gonna let the oppo do what the
hell they like? The blokes a moron.” Aggers: “JP Collins to open the bowling from the Mosque
Road End, and it seems Collins’ line and length is to the particular liking
of J. Higgs – he’s just been picked up and deposited against the sightscreen
for a fine six.” Boycott: “Opening bowler? Collins? My grandmother would
score runs against ‘ee! Hell, she could use her
walking stick to hit it.” Arlo: “Shorten would appear to be much more disciplined
from the Marston Road end. He seems to be enjoying some in-swing in these
overcast conditions.” Boycott: “Aye, shame that lump (Fisher) behind the wicket
can’t bend his back and stop ‘em. This could be a right bloody ‘ammering with the rubbish Collins (4-0-35-0) is chuckin’ down. If he halved his run up it’d still be 50
yards too bloody long.”
“C’mon, everybody!
Let’s dance like a twat!” Arlo: “That’s a tight single that Nick Warry has called
his partner for – this could be interesting with a direct hit!” Aggers: “Superb! That’s a fine piece of fielding in the
covers from Hoskins – Higgs (26) has gone.” Boycott: “That were plain daft. Why on earth would you
take a single like that when you’re travelling at over 8 an over? Absolutely
senseless.” Aggers: “Ahh, the next man in, Lee Davie – he used to
play for the Mad. A fine artist at the crease.” Arlo: “Yes, Lee is a proper man’s cricketer with a
sound technique.” Aggers: “Oh, looks like he’s trying for a quick single to
get off the mark… again, this could be rather tight!” Arlo: “Splendid fielding at fine leg by Emerson, he’s
hit the stumps direct – I believe Mr. Davie (0) maybe short of his ground….” Boycott: “Dear, oh dear, oh dear. Where did Lee leave his
brain this evening? My three legged dog could run faster than that. Pointless
run out.” Arlo: “Yes, the St. Clements Strollers are making
rather hard work of this, they now find themselves at 39 for 2 in the 6th
over.” Aggers: “Mike Reeves (4-0-23-0) taking over at the Mosque
Road End, and he’s bowling a tidy line and length from left arm over the
wicket.” Boycott: “Av’ seen more penetration in a nunnery, this guy
wouldn’t have had my grandmother sweating if she were batting with a stick of
broccoli.” Arlo: “A double change with Dave Emerson (4-0-25-0)
replacing Shorten. Dave’s languid approach to the crease a fine example to
the younger generation.” Boycott: “There’s nothing ‘appening
out there. It’s easy. You could blindfold me and I’d get a fifty. Emerson?
Should a’ stuck to making music – crap music n’ all.” Arlo: “Ohhh, and Warry has
skied one to Hoskins in the covers! Simple catch this – straight to him.” Aggers: “He’s dropped it! Hoskins has dropped it, and
Warry gets another life.” Boycott:
“Awful. That Hoskins couldn’t catch a cold. What’s wrong with him? Dear, oh
dear. I’d give the game up if I dropped catches like that. That were
embarrassing that were.”
D. Shorten (41) has
read Moo’s excellent “Guide to Cow Corner”. Aggers: “Looks like Warry (36*) has retired hurt, he
seemed to pull up taking a single in the previous over.” Arlo: “Yes, unfortunate end that. The Strollers will
hope young S. Warry can keep on pushing the score along as he was been.” Aggers: “And another bowling change with Hoskins
(3-1-14-0) replacing Emerson. It’ll be interesting to see if this pitch takes
spin?” Boycott: “Spin? That Hoskins couldn’t spin a coin on a
table – he’s an up n’ down pie man. ‘Help yourself’ as they say.” Aggers: “And after Shorten’s (4-0-14-0) final over at the
Mosque Road End, it’s going to be Howarth (1-0-4-1) bowling the penultimate
over to young Warry (43), who has impressed us all with his diligence and
array of strokes.” Arlo: “Yes, it’s been a lovely knock from the young
chap – ooh, he’s bowled! He was trying to go down the track and Howarth has yorked him.” Boycott: “19.3 overs for a decent yorker – rubbish. This
lot need to get back in the nets and learn tha’
trade.” Arlo: “And so St. Clements have posted 119-3 after
their 20 overs, a somewhat disappointing total given their start.” Aggers: “Yes, I thought the Far From The MCC pulled this
game back very well towards the end. In particular, I
wonder how important that run out of Higgs may prove to be?” Boycott: “7 wickets left in the bank? Playing for the
bloody averages that lot. Aye – Higgs’ run out was pathetic – he should be
ashamed of himself.”
A fine unbroken stand of
80 for D. Shorten (left) and D. Edwards. Aggers: “And so we have a quick turnaround here, what
with the light becoming more of a concern; and the Mad require the sum total
of 120 runs for victory in this their first encounter against the St.
Clements Strollers.” Arlo: “Yes, an interesting total to chase, Aggers –
largely dependent on the quality of the St. Clements’ bowlers. It looks like
we have Edwards and Shorten opening the batting.” Boycott: “I like Edwards. Man after my own heart. None of
this wishy-washy rubbish you see in limited overs cricket these days, just a
nice solid defensive technique and true grit.” Aggers: “Hmm, but his game may not exactly be suited to
this form of the game?” Boycott: “Nonsense. That’s exactly why you have a slogger
like Shorten at the other end. He can pinch-hit to his heart’s content,
whilst my man Edwards plays some proper sensible cricket.” Aggers: “The visiting team have got off to an excellent
start here. Edwards is pushing the ball around for singles here and there,
whilst Shorten is opening his shoulders.” Arlo: “Fine shot! Shorten has picked one up off his leg
stump and pulled it into the tennis courts for a maximum.” Boycott: “That were a slog. He’ll take the plaudits, but
it’s Edwards’ clever rotation of the strike which has had the bowler lose his
line and length.” Aggers: “The MAD have now passed 50 and the runs are
coming at quite a pace.” Boycott: “This isn’t proper bowling! You could hand the
greengrocer a melon and have him cause more problems than there is out
there.” Arlo: “Ooh, it looks like Mr. Edwards (34*) has retired
(hurt) with the score on 80. I say, a very generous decision in light of the
home side’s principle of no retirees.” Boycott: “Excellent innings. I’m only sorry I’m going to
have to watch a procession of sloggers bring them home now….”
The case of the
mysterious levitating ball. Aggers: “And he’s gone! Thornton Smith (2) bowled whilst
having a go.” Boycott: “Awful. That were just a wild swipe. I’ve seen
more technique in a cripple falling out a wheelchair.” Arlo: “And another one, Aggers! Reeves (0) has spooned
his first ball into the covers, and there maybe a little wobble here?” Aggers: “Quite, Arlo. And there’s another! Shorten’s (41)
fine innings comes to an end after a shot too many. Bowled, and very much
game on.” Boycott: “There were 50 for the taking there. Batsmen of
today just don’t value their wickets. Not like my man Edwards.” Aggers: “And the light really is getting quite bad here.
New batsman Martin Westmoreland has played and missed quite a few times out
there.” Arlo: “Yes, Aggers – a good job that stalwart Adie
Fisher is keeping the scoreboard ticking over with some lusty blows.” Aggers: “Oh, there’s a mix up… and Fisher (14) has gone!
Ran out by a direct hit. Well, a trifle unlucky I thought.” Boycott: “Unlucky? If he took his hand-brake
off he coulda made 3 out of that. Dreadful piece of running.”
Mosque? What mosque? Aggers: “The light really is very bad now, and I can’t
quite see who is actually playing out there anymore…?” Arlo: “I believe James Hoskins has scored a run. He’s
obviously struggling to see the ball too.” Aggers: “Some lovely shots there from the skipper – the
scores are level!” Boycott: “Lovely? He tried some orthodox shots and failed.
So he’s had a moo and lucky for him they’ve come off.” Aggers: “And that’s it! Westmoreland (21*) hits the
winning runs, and The MAD have won by 6 wickets.” Arlo: “Yes, an excellent win for them – and it
maintains their unbeaten run in July.” Boycott: “Not bad. Although my interest dipped after
Edwards retired. I’m off for a beer wi’ im now. See ya later.” ‘Radio 5 Live’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus St. Clements
Strollers Played at Magdalen College, 28 July
2009 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to field Far from the MCC won by 6 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
09 / 182 20 over match |
|
Team |
St. Clements Strollers |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. Higgs |
run out (Hoskins) |
26 |
|
|
|
1-38 |
|
2 |
N. Warry |
retired |
36 |
|
|
|
- |
|
3 |
L. Davie |
run out (Emerson) |
0 |
|
|
|
2-39 |
|
4 |
S. Warry * |
b Howarth |
43 |
|
|
|
3-118 |
|
5 |
H. Carter |
not out |
4 |
|
|
|
- |
|
6 |
S. Carter |
not out |
0 |
|
|
|
- |
|
7 |
B. Phillips |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
M. Warry |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
R. Webb |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
P. Brennan |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB2, W2, LB1, B5) |
10 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 3 wickets, 20 overs) |
119 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Collins |
4 |
0 |
35 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Shorten |
4 |
0 |
14 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Emerson |
4 |
0 |
25 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Reeves |
4 |
0 |
23 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Hoskins |
3 |
1 |
14 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Howarth |
1 |
0 |
4 |
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
D. M. Edwards |
retired |
34 |
(38) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
2 |
D. Shorten |
b N. Warry |
41 |
(36) |
6 |
1 |
2-83 |
|
3 |
T. P. W. Smith |
b M. Warry |
2 |
(2) |
- |
- |
1-82 |
|
4 |
M. K. Reeves |
c b M. Warry |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
3-87 |
|
5 |
A. J. Fisher + |
run out |
14 |
(12) |
2 |
- |
4-106 |
|
6 |
M. T. Westmoreland * |
not out |
21 |
(21) |
3 |
- |
- |
|
7 |
J. D. Hoskins |
not out |
2 |
(6) |
- |
- |
- |
|
8 |
D. Emerson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
J. P. Collins |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
I. Howarth |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
M. D. Clarke |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W2, LB5, B2) |
9 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 19.2 overs) |
123 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Webb |
2 |
0 |
16 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
S. Warry |
4 |
0 |
13 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Brennan |
4 |
0 |
36 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
N. Warry |
4 |
1 |
22 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
M. Warry |
5 |
0 |
25 |
2 |
|
|
6 |
Higgs |
0.2 |
0 |
4 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: D. Edwards retired with
the score on 80-0. |
|
|||||
|
MOTM: D. Shorten Champagne Moment: J. D. Hoskins’ run out
of J. Higgs Buffet
Award: JP Collins’ Aussie canapés
(with soya sauce) |
Opposition:
V052 / 01 Ground: G043 / 01 Captain: C011 / 15 |