“Edwards Denied Treble Ton

As KP Lifts the Gloom”

Match: 10 / 195

Match Abandoned

Team	Total
FFTMCC	14 - 0
D. Edwards 12*
Wootton & Bladon CC

Be careful what you wish for and you might just get it.

And so it came to pass on a bleak Sunday in the middle of May, that the cricket match between long standing rivals Wootton & Bladon CC and the Far from the MCC was duly lost to the weather. Certainly not before both sets of opposing players had emptied out a considerable amount of rainwater from their kitbags, cobbed and swore about the lack of protection from the elements, and moaned incessantly about why they had “even fucking bothered”.

Lush….

The date was May 16^th and it just so happened there were twin distractions on this particular day. Oxford United FC had won through to the Conference Play-Off Final at Wembley, whilst England had made it through to the T20 World Cup Final in the West Indies. Both events had their followers and both events had substantially weakened the contesting teams in Woodstock this day. In fact, it was safe to say, the guys who actually did turn up were probably in two minds as to whether they should really be turning up anyway. After all, the forecast was crap, the cold was palpable and enthusiasm was nowhere to be seen.

Play eventually got underway sometime after half past two, following a deluge of rain that had players scampering for cover under any available foliage or trees. The Marlborough School ground didn’t have a pavilion as such, and with the gates to the ground being padlocked shut, leaving cars by the boundary’s edge wasn’t an option either. The gazebos from previous years were also absent, as strong winds had threatened to turn them into balloons and blow them into nearby Banbury. So it was just suck it up, carry your kit bag onto a vast open expanse of field, and pray the heavens didn’t open once more. Which of course they fucking did. Several times.

“Pick a team, organise stuff, make the effort – why do I bother?”

Skipper Westmoreland had won the toss and reasoned it may be fun to have a bat before it pissed down [once more] – at least this way it would buck the trend of chasing leather for the first couple of hours. Ian Leggate would hold a piece of wood over Wootton scorer Derek Hambridge, as he manfully battled against the wind and drizzle to record events in pencil in his scorebook. He would only record 8 balls however, before the drizzle became a deluge and his scorebook resembled a piece of toilet paper in a urinal. His last act as cricketing scribe was to note, J. Grieves, slipping on his arse at the popping crease whilst delivering a wide to D. Edwards (12*)….

A man can never have enough Shooz….

Back in the changing rooms of the school, bedraggled members from both teams slopped onto benches and slung their soaking whites into pissed through kit bags. It was about this time that people started querying the statistics of the match – all 8 balls of it. Edwards’ innings contained three sumptuous boundaries, whilst N. Hebbes (0*) contained none. Edwards was immediately recognised as Man of the Match, despite predictable protestations from Fantasy Cricket Chairman, J. Hoskins. And following said individuals continued moaning and blatherings, Edwards would quaff the Champagne to boot [for his square cut boundary off the first ball].

Well done him, we say. But just imagine if Dan had carried on batting in the same aggressive manner through a completed 35 over match…. He would most certainly have notched his maiden treble-ton – a quite remarkable achievement. Also, if we were to make use of the same prophetic formula, then Nick would still have remained on 0 not out – a quite special achievement in its own right.

Hugh Heffner and Danger Mouse head for Hoskins’ Sports Bar.

Following a brief pint at the White House pub in Woodstock with the opposition, the majority of The MAD ensemble then decamped back to James Hoskins’ house in Cutteslowe to watch the remainder of the T20 Final between England and Australia. There they witnessed a highly impressive display from England’s English bowlers, before their South African and Irish batsmen put the Aussies to the sword. The highlight being Kevin Pietersen’s egotistically flamboyant innings of 47 – a performance which galvanised Mr. Hoskins’ into further outbursts from his soapbox concerning KP’s [apparent] poor run-rate and [apparent] failure to deliver.

J. Hoskins privately admires England’s maverick batsman, Big Kev.

So, as it transpired, cricket did turn out to be a winner – even if cricket was a total loser. Just a shame Dan didn’t have a chance to reach his 300….

‘TFC’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Wootton & Bladon CC Played at Marlborough School, Woodstock, 16 May 2010 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to bat Match Abandoned Far from the MCC debuts: Christopher David Roberts (109)

10 / 195 35 over match

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	D. M. Edwards	not out	12	(6)	3	-	-
2	N. J. Hebbes	not out	0	(2)	-	-	-
3	I. Howarth
4	M. K. Reeves
5	A. Morley
6	A. Darley
7	I. C. Leggate
8	J. D. Hoskins
9	M. T. Westmoreland *
10	C. D. Roberts
11	J. C. W. Hotson +
	Extras	(W1, B1)	2
	TOTAL	(for 0 wickets, 1.2 overs)	14

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Edwards	1	0	8	0
2	M. Grieves	0.2	0	5	0

Team	Wootton & Bladon CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	J. Finson
2	N. Hambridge *
3	W. Dale
4	A. Hambridge
5	T. Floyd +
6	Paul
7	S. Edwards
8	M. Grieves
9	D. De Bono
10	J. Grieves
11
	Extras
	TOTAL

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1
2
3

MOTM: D. Edwards Champagne Moment: D. Edwards’ boundary first ball Buffet Award: n/a

Opposition: V027 / 13 Ground: G031 / 03 Captain: C011 / 24