Far from the MCC fines 09.05.10 v Nomads CC (h) lost by 33 runs

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Jake	Turning Up Late
	Not Driving Dangerously	To make time
	Wicket Keeper Avoidance	Having Ian H deputise
	Impersonating Batsman	By scoring some runs (at last)
	Alien Abduction
			£1.25
Dave E	Comedy Fielding
	Sexual Bragging	“I can shag any bird on the Cowley Road”
	Up Hill Avoidance	Refused to bowl uphill
	Cob	About the above
	Impersonating German
	Major Cob		50p
	Donation
			£2.00
Thorn	Drunken Fielding	Pissed on Stella
	Smoking on Pitch	Whilst pissed on Stella	50p
	Catch Avoidance	Whilst pissed on Stella
	Comedy Fielding	Whilst pissed on Stella
	Listening to iPod	Whilst pissed on Stella
	Listening to Addictions	Whilst pissed on Stella
	Catch Avoidance	Whilst pissed on Stella
	Cob	Whilst pissed on Stella
	Pissing on Dan’s Kit	Whilst pissed on Stella
			£2.50
Ian H	Impersonating Hannibal Lector	Using Jake’s wicketkeeper’s mask
	Opening Partnership Less Than 25
	Catch Avoidance
	Wrestling with the Ball
	Nick Hebbes Impersonation
	Taught in Goose	Used the bat in previous game
	Impersonating Dobner
			£1.75
Stevie D	Self-Importance
	Smugness
	Not Starting On Thorn
	Extortion
		Dobner Clause Invoked	£1.00
J-Mo	Stripping
	Burdening Umpire
	Dressing Inappropriately
	Driving A Hairdressers Car	Porsche
	Cob
	Mongoose Multiplier * 2	Dismissed using his Mongoose bat.
			£2.50
Ross	Golden Duck		£1.00
	Being Sledged By Girlfriend	On getting a golden duck
	Comedy Dismissal
	Bad Dog Training
	Previous Experience	Of batting shite
	Not Using All The Flags	When marking the boundary out
	Not Having A Proper Motorbike	An amusing Vespa moped
			£2.50
Gonzo	Turning Up Late * 3	Making other players late	75p
	Breakfast In Afternoon	Turning up with breakfast
	Eating On Field
	Comedy Fielding
	Comedy Running	Running like a twat
	Missing Previous Fines Committee		£3.00
			£4.75
Dan	Trigger Finger	The irony….
	Turning Up Late * 2		50p
	Breakfast In Afternoon
	Eating On Field
	Puppy Avoidance	Joe Puppy sadly left home alone
	Donation * 2		50p
			£2.00
Dave S	Not Using Goose
	Batting Out Of Character	Slow innings with no slogging
	Getting Cold	Wearing multiple jumpers
	Dropped Catches * 2		£1.00
	Comedy Fielding	Lazy bugger
			£2.00
Moo	Losing Toss		50p
	Dropped Catch		50p
	Cob * 2		50p
	Faking Dislocation	His finger
	Playing For Other Team	Overthrows
	Denial
	Living In Fantasy World * 2		50p
	Cobbing Out Of Character	Usually a responsible chap
	Beard Avoidance	Finally shaved
			£3.25
		TOTAL	£25.50

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Looking Uber-Smug (overly arrogant and condescending)	£0.50
Extreme Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£0.50
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2