“Did You Know?”
Match: 11
/ 246
Lost
by 3 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
200 - 8 |
|
D. Emerson 95, J. Hotson
24* |
|
|
|
|
|
Wootton & Boars Hill CC |
203 - 7 |
|
J. Hoskins 3 - 49 |
|
|
Q. Did you know that Sunday’s are generally regarded as being the least successful
day of any sporting Tour? Saturdays can be
notoriously difficult to arrange a fixture on Tour, as most local teams
thrown up on the internet are already committed to league or cup games. This
has the unedifying effect of leaving the tourists to entertain themselves on
the off day, which invariably leads to adults behaving like teenagers and drowning
their livers in alcohol. This was true for the Far from the MCC on their Tour
to Southsea, where time was divided equally between bars, pubs, kebab houses
and a crazy golf course. What else is there to do by a seaside, huh? Read a
fucking comic?
Edwards (putting) lit up the PGA Crazy Golf World
in Southsea. Q. Did you know the 2011 Tour to Southsea all came about because the
team of Portchester CC visited Oxford the previous year? Organising a Tour can
present many unique problems for the incumbent Organiser. Where do you go?
When do you go? Who do you play? Where do you stay? Deposits, transport,
errant contacts, organising people’s lives – in fact the guy in charge does
nothing short of wiping everyone’s arses whilst his/her own life goes into
limbo. Unless you’re
James never does anything for the club. Q. Did you know it was almost 3 years since Ian Howarth last skippered The MAD? After soaking up the
adulation and praise of a near match-winning knock on Friday, Howarth
naturally decided the world was his oyster and confidently threw his hat in
the ring for captaining the Sunday. That it was accepted was probably down to
his team mates wondering how far he could fall rather than excitable memories
from his previous regime…. Things got off to a
flier for Ian after he quickly lost the toss and saw The MAD inserted on a
lively Cams School pitch. His opposite number noting the ramshackle mood of
reluctance among the Tourists as they juggled hangovers with failing body
parts after two days on the lash. Q. Did you know that The MAD had totalled a record of 63 ducks prior to
this match during 2011?
Ducksters T. Smith and J. Hoskins fast-tracked
into openers. Instructing Friday’s duckheads T. Smith (4) and J. Hoskins (2) to confront
their demons and open the batting, Ian soon found the pair returning to relax
against their kit bags and read the Sunday newspapers. Edwards (8) and
Westmoreland (0) lasted a little longer, but not that long, with the latter’s
latest failure coming off the back of a seminar from Howarth on how “(he) had
a feeling that this was going to be (Martin’s) day.” It wasn’t, with Moo
lasting a whole 2 balls. Reeves (12) and Dobner (17) arrested the decline
before continuing it, with Steve reverting to type and dragging a ball a mile
outside off stump and eventually onto his stumps.
S. Dobner analyses clouds whilst unfurling a
stout forward defensive. Q. Did you know that Dave Emerson originally came to club as a batsman
(from the OU Offices)? To say confidence in Mr.
Emerson rescuing the situation was minimal, was perhaps a gross exaggeration
– it was non-existent. Since leaping from the doomed OU Office frigate “The
HMS Darley” several years ago, Dave’s batting career had misfired, stalled,
developed an oil leak, had carburettor problems, before total engine failure
had seen it consigned to the knackers yard. He’d shown glimpses of his talent
in the shorter form of the game – the odd drunken slog here – but the real
test of anyone’s mettle is the longer form of the game. Here, Mr. Emerson had
performed like a Sinclair C5 with no battery.
Jake hosts a game of “Spot the Ball”. Indeed, there was little
indication that Dave may reverse his fortunes with the bat – his innings
beginning with some decent hits over the bowlers head followed by regulatory
swipes at thin air and the obligatory missed stumping. He survived; and he
continued to chance his arm thereafter, watching as he did so, as Howarth
(12) blew his chances at the other end by holing out at mid-off. So no Captain’s
innings there then. Tumultuous applause
greeted a trademark blow down the ground to bring up Emerson’s maiden MAD
fifty. He was congratulated by new partner, J. Hotson, who would then
accompany Dave through the 50s, the 60s, the 70s, the 80s and… by golly, into
the nervous 90s. Whispers of another Mad centurion in just a matter of days
were rife. Alas, one swipe too many saw Dave caught on the boundary, and thus
end a wonderful innings of 95 and MAD eighth wicket record of 81. The MAD eventually
closed on 200-8 with I. Leggate (3*) escorting Hotson (24*) to a personal
best. Q. Did you know the previous high score for The MAD at #7 was only 54?
And that that innings (Howarth at Timberscombe CC in 2005) was also notched
on Tour?
D. Emerson (right) gets the monkey off his back. Time for tea, with a
generous spread tasting much better than it might have earlier. With
reasonable grounds to hope for a first Tour victory, Mr. Emerson now regaled
stories of how he used to score hundreds for fun (in his backyard in New Zealand). Despite Howarth
(4-0-24-0) bowling absolute shite on resumption, C. Roberts (4-0-26-1) did
snare N. Keilly (6) with a rank full toss. Portchester
wickets did fall at reasonably regular intervals thereafter, but the innings
was glued together by their Skipper, P. Hungerford (75). An annoying leftie
with a penchant for nursing the ball around and ruining the best laid
fielding plans, he also flayed a generous helping of crap outside leg stump. Emerson (5-2-9-1) soon found
himself rushed from the dehydration tent for a bowl, as did Edwards
(8-1-32-0), who staggered from boundary to boundary with his rheumatoid arthritis.
Both were neat, but failed to shift the home side’s momentum. Westmoreland (1-0-12-0)
completed a miserable Tour by pulling his hamstring [and collecting buffet],
whilst veteran M. Reeves (8-1-25-0) wasn’t any more successful – although he
did avoid injuring himself.
The pretty view of Cams Hill from near the
clubhouse. In the end it all came
down to this: a certain amount of unknown runs off the final two overs that
weren’t recorded in the scorebook. T. Smith (2-0-15-1) tried manfully to keep
it tight, although a stray one disturbed some woodpeckers in the trees over square
leg. Thorn’s over did at least allow J. Hoskins (7.5-0-49-3) the opportunity
to bring the team home, and although he went through his repertoire of short
pastry, C. Locke (35*) slapped the penultimate ball for four to dash Mad
hopes. An enjoyable game in
summation – played in a most excellent spirit on a warm sunny day. We look
forward to hosting these guys in Oxfordshire later in the year.
Not the best of starts, but The MAD did rally –
to eventually lose. Q. Did you know that this was the first instance of the Far from the MCC
scoring 200 or more on first innings and losing a game? ‘Spam’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Portchester
CC Played at Cams Hill School
(Portchester), 14 August 2011 Portchester CC won the toss and
elected to field Portchester CC won by 3 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
11 / 246 40 over match |
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|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
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|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
T. P. W. Smith |
b Robbins |
4 |
(5) |
1 |
- |
1-4 |
|
2 |
J. D. Hoskins |
b C. Restall |
2 |
(10) |
- |
- |
2-7 |
|
3 |
D. M. Edwards |
b Kiely |
8 |
(18) |
2 |
- |
4-21 |
|
4 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
c Lock b C. Restall |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
3-7 |
|
5 |
M. K. Reeves |
c Sole b O’Neill |
12 |
(45) |
2 |
- |
6-70 |
|
6 |
S. L. P. Dobner + |
b Kiely |
17 |
(27) |
3 |
- |
5-53 |
|
7 |
D. Emerson |
c O’Neill b Robbins |
95 |
(77) |
16 |
- |
8-186 |
|
8 |
I. Howarth * |
c Elston b
Stainton |
12 |
(9) |
2 |
- |
7-105 |
|
9 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
not out |
24 |
(47) |
3 |
- |
- |
|
10 |
I. C. Leggate |
not out |
3 |
(3) |
- |
- |
- |
|
11 |
C. D. Roberts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB4, W9, LB2, B8) |
23 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 8 wickets, 40 overs) |
200 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Robbins |
6 |
1 |
40 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
C. Restall |
2 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
|
|
3 |
B. Restall |
4 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Kiely |
6 |
1 |
23 |
2 |
|
|
5 |
O’Neill |
6 |
1 |
31 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Hungerford |
5 |
1 |
24 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Stainton |
4 |
1 |
14 |
1 |
|
|
8 |
Lock |
3 |
0 |
26 |
0 |
|
|
9 |
Elston |
4 |
0 |
19 |
0 |
|
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|
|
|
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|
Team |
Portchester CC |
|
|
|
|
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|
|
|
|
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|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
N. Kiely |
lbw b Roberts |
6 |
|
- |
- |
1-19 |
|
2 |
P. Hungerford |
b Hoskins |
75 |
|
12 |
- |
5-149 |
|
3 |
S. Elston |
b Emerson |
7 |
|
- |
- |
2-63 |
|
4 |
B. Restall |
run out (Howarth) |
8 |
|
1 |
- |
3-79 |
|
5 |
H. Robbins |
lbw b Hoskins |
21 |
|
2 |
- |
4-126 |
|
6 |
H. Sole + |
b Smith |
21 |
|
- |
- |
7-192 |
|
7 |
L. Stainton |
lbw b Hoskins |
0 |
|
- |
- |
6-149 |
|
8 |
C. Locke |
not out |
35 |
|
1 |
1 |
- |
|
9 |
C. Restall |
not out |
1 |
|
- |
- |
- |
|
10 |
D. O’Neill |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB1, W14, LB7, B7) |
29 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 7 wickets, 39.5 overs) |
203 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Howarth |
4 |
0 |
24 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Roberts |
4 |
0 |
26 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Emerson |
5 |
2 |
9 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Edwards |
8 |
1 |
32 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Westmoreland |
1 |
0 |
12 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Reeves |
8 |
1 |
25 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Hoskins |
7.5 |
0 |
49 |
3 |
|
|
8 |
Smith |
2 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: D. Emerson Champagne Moment: I. Howarth’s direct run
out Buffet
Award: M. T. Westmoreland’s apple
and custard pies (with value cream) |
Opposition:
V062 / 02 Ground: G053 / 01 Captain: C007 / 43 |