“Captain’s Report[s]”

 

 

Match:  11 / 228

Lost by 30 runs

 

 

Team

 

Total

Marsh XI

135 - 8

D. Emerson  3 - 20,  J. Hoskins  2 - 16

 

FFTMCC

105 - 8

L. Ainsworth  30,  J. Pearson  23

 

 

 

 

In what now seems like the customary flurry of electronic communication and trading places in the run up each T20 game, Paddy was in for Spam who was called onto the late shift, then I was in for J-Mo who was on call. Finally Moo texted that he would be tied up at work, so J-Mo was back in for Moo, and I was now to be captain.  Meanwhile this meant Paddy’s lift was no longer going, while Gonzo had already vainly requested a lift from Gypsy Lane.

 

I also have work to be getting on with, so I check the scorebook will be arriving, and that Paddy and Gonzo are sorted for transport, plan to arrive at the ground early to formulate a plan over a tinny, and until then continue with the day job.

 

 

 

Recent library footage of Paddy looking intelligent.

 

 

Approaching the ground, I catch up with a hairdresser’s car, from which, as I park, J-Mo emerges: “We need runs – get Emerson up the order.”  Good idea, perhaps he and Lee can open...

 

We cross the road to the ground, and to some relief find five of our players have already arrived.  “Dave, do you fancy opening?”

“The bowling?”

“No, the batting.”

“What about Paddy?”

Yeah, that could work.  “Paddy, would you be happy opening the batting?”

 

“What are we doing if you win the toss?”

“Well, would we rather field or bat in the fading light?”

“We should try chasing for a change?”

“Yeah, we’re best at chasing.”

 

 

 

Library footage of Dave (right) rehearsing for Reservoir Dogs II.

 

 

So, some decisions made for me. The next one was easy: heads. “We’ll field first. A couple of our players aren’t here yet though they should be on their way.” Gonzo had been spotted by several waiting for his lift from the Green Road Roundabout, and a quick phone call had confirmed it was imminent.

 

“James, I was planning to bowl you at the death, but as Lego’s not here yet, can you open with Wonky?”

A quick test with a spirit level determined which end was downhill at which Dave should open.

“They’re here now, and my bowling’s a bit rusty anyway.”

“Ok, but can you do fine leg anyway for now.”

 

 

‘Judge Dredd’

 

 

 

 

“The Worm that Turned
(Then had its Head Chopped off]”

 

 

After 2 balls Lego entered the field which was then shuffled round to take best advantage of the extra man. 2 balls later, Gonzo entered the fray, and more adjustments were made for the same reason. 2 balls later, the correct and solid looking young opening bat Suli had one pop up to Reeves at short extra cover, and D. Emerson had completed a wicket maiden.

 

 

 

Library footage of Dave Shorten heading to a farmer’s conference.

 

 

Some slogging now ensued, of which D. Shorten (4-0-42-1) took the brunt, though succeeded in smashing the timbers of Zoggy with the last ball of his first spell, and safely pocketing skiers from A. Hussein and Umar to assist Emerson and G. Timms to 4-1-20-3 and 4-0-31-2 respectively.

 

C. Roberts (4-0-23-0) and J. Hoskins (4-0-16-2) helped put the brakes on the opposition’s progress, one of Hoskins’ wickets being a bizarre stumping in which the ball rose sharply over the stumps but rebounded back onto them off wicketkeeper J. Hotson’s face grille. Shorten was also more economical in his second spell. Pearson, who’d been promised a spell at the end then been asked to open due to absenteeism, in the event wasn’t called upon at all.

 

 

2011jun1a

 

Library footage of stumps after someone has been bowled.

 

 

Chasing 136 to win, L. Ainsworth and P. Mellor (13) got The MAD off to a solid if not altogether flying start, and the casual observer will have noted that Ainsworth should have scored several more had it not been for Mellor’s insistence that if the ball doesn’t reach the boundary then a single is sufficient. A more specific observer, Shorten, would bellow out “We need runs!” at regular intervals.

 

J. Pearson (23) with Ainsworth (30) and then C. Roberts (12) helped bring about a professional looking worm up to the end of the 14th over, leaving 58 needed off the last 6 with 8 wickets in hand. However, it was never going to be easy for incoming batsmen in the fading light, particularly after the 15th over inexplicably yielded only one run. M. Reeves (0), D. Shorten (5), I. Leggate (3) and D. Emerson (6) all sacrificed their averages in the cause, while G. Timms (3*) protected his, but none could consistently find the required middle of the bat with their attempted slogs, and after the 19th over the conclusion was foregone.

 

So, back to the drawing board, and plan to make cider out of the Apples on Sunday…

 

 

fftmcc-worm

 

Statistical analysis shows Shorten was wrong, and in fact The MAD were on course for victory.

 

 

‘A. Casual-Observer’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

Statto Scorecards

 

 

 

Far from the MCC versus Marsh XI

Played at Holton, 1 June 2011

 

Marsh XI won the toss and elected to bat

Marsh XI won by 30 runs

 

Far from the MCC debuts:  none

 

 

11 / 228

 

 

 

 

 

20 over match

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team

Marsh XI

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

Suli

c Reeves b Emerson

0

 

 

 

 

2

Zalan

b Emerson

29

 

 

 

 

3

Z. Hussain

b Shorten

5

 

 

 

 

4

A. Hussain

c Shorten b Emerson

10

 

 

 

 

5

E. Umar *

c Shorten b Timms

11

 

 

 

 

6

D. Danish

lbw b Timms

17

 

 

 

 

7

M. Hussain

st Hotson b Hoskins

19

 

 

 

 

8

Urtan

not out

30

 

 

 

 

9

A. Hamdan +

b Hoskins

3

 

 

 

 

10

Rustan

not out

1

 

 

 

 

11

Jaha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

(W7, LB3)

10

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 8 wickets, 20 overs)

135

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Emerson

4

1

20

3

 

2

Shorten

4

0

42

1

 

3

Timms

4

0

31

2

 

4

Roberts

4

0

23

0

 

5

Hoskins

4

0

16

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team

Far from the MCC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

L. G. Ainsworth

c and b Danish

30

(35)

3

-

2-62

2

P. A. S. Mellor

b Z. Hussain

13

(23)

1

-

1-32

3

J. W. Pearson

b Zalan

23

(23)

2

-

3-81

4

C. D. Roberts

b M. Hussain

12

(16)

1

-

6-94

5

M. K. Reeves

b Zalan

0

(2)

-

-

4-81

6

D. Shorten

b Suli

5

(6)

1

-

5-89

7

I. C. Leggate

c b M. Hussain

3

(6)

-

-

7-95

8

D. Emerson

c b Suli

6

(5)

1

-

8-105

9

G. J. Timms

not out

3

(4)

-

-

 

10

J. D. Hoskins

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

J. C. W. Hotson *+

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

(W6, LB1, B3)

10

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 8 wickets, 20 overs)

105

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Umar

2

0

6

0

 

2

Rustan

2

0

5

0

 

3

Jaha

2

0

10

0

 

4

Urtan

2

0

10

0

 

5

A. Hussain

2

0

11

0

 

6

Z. Hussain

2

0

13

1

 

7

Danish

2

0

12

1

 

8

Zalan

2

0

16

2

 

9

M. Hussain

2

0

4

2

 

10

Suli

2

0

15

2

 

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  D. Emerson

Champagne Moment:  D. Shorten’s towering catch

Buffet Award:  D. Shorten’s pig roast (with roast potatoes and sides)

 

 

Opposition:  V058 / 03

Ground:  G027 / 05

Captain:  C012 / 04