Far
from the MCC fines 27.05.12
v Horspath CC (a) lost by 27 runs
Recorded
Fines
25p unless otherwise stated.
|
Name |
Fine |
Reason |
Cost
|
|
Mike R |
Failure to bring team home |
|
|
|
|
Not catching 4 people out |
He once caught 4 people out at this
ground |
|
|
|
Not hogging the game |
He once hogged the game at this
ground |
|
|
|
Self-entrapment |
|
|
|
|
Far too quiet |
Not being himself |
|
|
|
Harbouring |
A cob |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.50 |
|
Ian H |
Walking on an lbw |
Like what the fuck?! |
|
|
|
Happy in failure |
Not being himself |
|
|
|
Failure to cob |
Not being himself |
|
|
|
Self-entrapment x 2 |
|
£0.50 |
|
|
Impersonating David Hasselhoff |
Strolling about the ground with his
shirt off |
|
|
|
Dissing the skipper x 2 |
“I always get to bat at #3 in this
pool system because Martin is shit these days (replaces Moo).” |
£0.50 |
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Dan |
Relying on shit for wickets |
Long hops rewarded |
|
|
|
Wearing a jumper |
On a hot sunny day |
|
|
|
Dying running |
Physically unfit for purpose |
|
|
|
Being unfit |
|
|
|
|
Poor water retention |
Dehydrating after only 3 overs of
batting |
|
|
|
Cob |
At lack of water |
|
|
|
Joe Puppy avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Being unhygienic |
Wearing jumper in summer |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Mark R |
Average protection |
|
|
|
|
Being a Jonah |
No luck whatsoever |
|
|
|
Heading ball when batting |
|
|
|
|
Six avoidance |
Required to win the match |
|
|
|
Duck avoidance |
|
|
|
|
|
|
£1.25 |
|
Dave S |
Looking glum |
|
|
|
|
Opening bowler no wicket |
|
£0.50 |
|
|
Golden duck |
|
£1.00 |
|
|
Giant Duck neglect |
Tossing new mascot on the floor |
|
|
|
Abusing Giant Duck |
Slapping him |
|
|
|
Harbouring |
Dark thoughts |
|
|
|
Failure to cycle |
To ground |
|
|
|
Boasting |
Of greater fitness than his team
mates |
|
|
|
Audible sigh |
|
|
|
|
|
|
£3.25 |
|
Dave E |
Wearing a gay T-shirt |
Royal wedding variety |
|
|
|
Worrying royal tendencies |
Potential terrorist |
|
|
|
Complaining |
Of feeling queasy |
|
|
|
Duck |
|
£0.50 |
|
|
Not sleeping in his car |
He slept at this ground last year |
|
|
|
Failure to have a mental breakdown |
He burnt himself out at this ground
last year |
|
|
|
Drop |
|
£0.50 |
|
|
Catch avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Cob |
Regarding above fine |
|
|
|
Bullying bunnies |
Bowling shit batsmen |
|
|
|
|
|
£3.00 |
|
|
No duck on debut |
Going against Club protocol |
|
|
|
Hypochondriac |
Groin injury |
|
|
|
Moaning |
About the above injury |
|
|
|
Sprinting when batting |
Despite the above injury |
|
|
|
Having |
Bright red in colour |
|
|
|
Lack of ambition |
To bowl |
|
|
|
Drop |
|
£0.50 |
|
|
Self-entrapment x 3 |
|
£0.75 |
|
|
Denial |
|
|
|
|
Dissing the driver |
Howarth’s taxi |
|
|
|
Gavelling own fines |
“That’s enough.” |
|
|
|
Talking through fines |
|
|
|
|
|
|
£3.75 |
|
Steve D |
Moaning throughout |
|
|
|
|
Relatively positive |
Unnerving behaviour |
|
|
|
Refusing to bat in the pool system |
“I want a number.” |
|
|
|
Bowling |
After declaring he would never bowl
for the Mad again |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.00 |
|
Jake |
Pub avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Ground avoidance |
Lost |
|
|
|
Injury avoidance |
He wore a ball in the face at this
ground once |
|
|
|
No hole in chin |
For Dave E to stuck his cock inside
(famous comment made after said injury) |
|
|
|
Average protection |
|
|
|
|
Failure to bring team home |
|
|
|
|
Catch avoidance |
Standing too far back |
|
|
|
Failure to bully stumps |
Never whipping the bails off when
keeping |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Martin |
Short umpiring stint |
Just 2 overs |
|
|
|
Team neglect |
Whilst umpiring for 2 overs |
|
|
|
Self-importance |
“I’m a great umpire.” |
|
|
|
Using a clicking bat |
Strange noise when hitting ball |
|
|
|
Cow corner avoidance |
Six went over cover point |
|
|
|
Excessive P.M.A |
|
|
|
|
Delusional at end of game x 2 |
Still being positive |
£0.50 |
|
|
Dictator |
“You’ll do what I say!” |
|
|
|
Impersonating |
Beard growth |
|
|
|
Impersonating the guy out of the “Joy
of Sex” manual |
Beard growth – 70s look |
|
|
|
Thinking he is unemployed |
Beard growth similar to when he was
unemployed |
|
|
|
Mini Moo avoidance x 2 |
No sons in attendance |
£0.50 |
|
|
Dissing Mike |
“You’re batting up the order as you
never score any fucking runs anymore.” |
|
|
|
Self-entrapment |
|
|
|
|
Talking through fines |
|
|
|
|
Rolling his eyes |
Harbouring a cob |
|
|
|
Cob |
|
|
|
|
Audible sigh |
|
|
|
|
|
|
£5.00 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
£24.75 |
*
Special
Rates
|
Indiscretion |
Cost |
|
Duck |
£0.50 |
|
Golden Duck |
£1.00 |
|
Diamond or Platinum Duck |
£2.00 |
|
Out Playing Reverse-sweep /
Switch-hit |
£1.00 |
|
Dropped Catch |
£0.50 |
|
Opening Bowler No Wicket |
£0.50 |
|
Opening Partnership Avoidance |
£0.50 |
|
Smoking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Drinking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Missed Stumping |
£0.50 |
|
Missed Run-Out |
£0.50 |
|
Fines' Folder Abuse |
£0.50 |
|
Impersonating Billy Liar |
£0.50 |
|
Having a Major Cob |
£0.50 |
|
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter
meltdown) |
£1.00 |
|
Insulting the Fines Committee
Chairman |
£0.50 |
|
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum
limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause” |
£1.00 |
|
Swearing in Front of Kids |
£2.50 |
|
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain) |
£5.00 |
|
Dissent (to On-field Umpires) |
£5.00 |
|
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose) |
x2 |