“Sarcastic
Report Charts Brilliant Run-Chase”
Match: 14
/ 336
Lost
by 31 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Wootton &
Bladon CC |
183 - 7 |
|
J. Newman 3 – 43, J. Pearson
2 - 22 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
152 |
|
M. Reeves 29, M. Westmoreland 22 |
|
|
As Oxford continued to
bathe in July’s blissful sunshine, this particular Sunday was all about
winning the toss and batting first. Relaxing back into those stripy Brasenose
deckchairs and watching the opposition toil away in the heat after a silly
red ball. Today’s visitors, the amusingly nicknamed ‘Fat Boys’, have actually
renamed themselves West Wootton CC in recent times – or something like that, at
least according to their iconic scorer, Derek Hambridge – but whatever, most
of them are still fat, so the
nickname remains. Their new skipper Valentine wouldn’t argue with that particular
descriptive adjective, but he would argue that size doesn’t matter when calling
the toss. It doesn’t. Heads it was. And yes, dear oh dear, Skipper Howarth
would soon return from the middle to inform his teammates of the most
splendid news. “Hurrah” said the team as one, “an excellent opportunity to
run off those excess pounds and delight in scrambling through surrounding
hedgerows.”
Derek (left) is unused to scoring without
rainfall. Opening the batting,
Poole Jr (4) showed admirable restraint during his dogged innings of
watchfulness that stretched through roughly four deliveries. He even [tentatively]
thought of blocking one. J. Newman then made it 6-2 by laying claim to the
one that cuts back sharply and stays pitifully low (J. Barker bowled for 1).
Excellent stuff, John – and rich rewards for all that bowling you’ve put in for
the club over the past few weeks. At the other end, M.
Reeves’ (4-0-13-0) marathon with the new ball helped the batsmen to settle in,
before his replacement J. Pearson (8-2-22-2) made marginally more effort.
Normally James would grumble about making any effort, but his parents were
here you understand, so he jogged in at a pace at least on a par with someone
awaiting a hip-replacement. 56-4. For the next hour or so,
The MAD went through the motions of bowling on leg stump to T. Clapham (60),
who looked like he had less of an idea of where the offside was than The MAD’s
very own Westmoreland. They also bowled full and straight at the bulky Mr. Valentine,
whose repertoire included a tonk to long off, a tonk over the bowler’s head
and a tonk to long on. Have no worries though, Tom, we’ll get that ball
perfectly delivered into your arc so you can tonk it wherever the fuck you
like. Roberts (5-1-21-0), Rundle (4-0-27-0) and Timms (8-0-40-1).
Unrelated footage of the downed Malaysian
airliner MH17. Failing to galvanise
Reeves into another bowl, Howarth (3-0-13-1) turned to himself to finish the
innings. Apart from a few head high beamers and some shit down leg, he bowled
a beauty at waist high to dislodge his opposite number (Valentine 61). It is
also worth noting that ball magnet, R. Turner, pouched the ball at
not-quite-long-on for his third catch of the innings. 183-7 and time for well
a needed sitting of one’s arse on a deckchair. Tea – and the lack of a
Pizza Hut delivery van reflected bad on ‘Homer’ Turner. There was also a
paucity of garlic bread and a total absence of spicy chicken wings and double-dipped
oven chips [with dips]. Seriously – if you’re going to volunteer to do teas,
at least live up to your reputation and dispense with all this regular
cricketing-fare bollocks AND DO THE RIGHT THING!!!
The brand new Brasenose electronic scoreboard. On resumption, The MAD
got off to a flyer by consuming 15.3 overs in making 34 runs. J. Pearson (18)
was the first to go by failing to utilise his ninth life. He had used eight
of them though, so tough shit for Westmoreland (22) and tough shit for Turner
(10). The spiralling run-rate
was of no concern for The MAD’s engine room however, or lower order for that
matter. Howarth was a revelation in smacking 4 off 3 balls, and Dobner a hero
with 5 off 5 balls. This put The MAD right back in the frame. Reeves somehow summoned
the strength on his deathbed to smack 29 off 24 balls and J. Hotson 9 off a courageous
18 balls (though he did run at least another 20). More heroism was to come,
Newman thrilling a capacity crowd with an audacious 4 off 3 balls, Timms a
cavalier knock in the KP mould (4 off 3 balls) and a towering performance
from Roberts as he wielded 7 off 7 balls.
The sun goes down on the latest brilliant MAD
run-chase at Brasenose. That The MAD actually
lost was utterly bizarre, especially in lieu of this being such a cultured
and intelligently constructed run chase. In fact, Rundle’s (16* off 12 balls)
untimely passing was a result of remaining at the crease long after the game
had concluded and being squashed under the covers. Sorry, Mark – we are only
allowed to field 11 batsmen, you know? And yes, we were only allowed to bat
34.4 overs too. Crap, huh? And yes, those batsmen sure did come and go pretty
darned fast…. Cricket is so unfair
sometimes. ’133.33
SR’
|
*
Statto
Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Wootton
& Bladon CC Played at Brasenose College, 27 July
2014 Wootton & Bladon CC won
the toss and elected to bat Wootton & Bladon CC won by 31 runs Far from the MCC debuts:
none |
14 / 336 40 over match |
|
Team |
Wootton & Bladon CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
T. Poole |
c Westmoreland b Newman |
4 |
(4) |
1 |
- |
1-4 |
|
2 |
T. Clapham |
c Turner b Newman-Robson |
60 |
(89) |
7 |
- |
5-149 |
|
3 |
J. Barker |
b Newman-Robson |
1 |
(7) |
- |
- |
2-6 |
|
4 |
D. Floyd |
b Pearson |
23 |
(22) |
4 |
- |
3-50 |
|
5 |
G. Doggett + |
c Turner b Pearson |
6 |
(12) |
1 |
- |
4-56 |
|
6 |
T. Valentine * |
c Turner b Howarth |
61 |
(75) |
5 |
2 |
7-176 |
|
7 |
M. Ryan |
c Roberts b Timms |
9 |
(15) |
1 |
- |
6-176 |
|
8 |
A. Hambridge |
not out |
2 |
(7) |
- |
- |
- |
|
9 |
J. Floyd |
not out |
3 |
(3) |
- |
- |
- |
|
10 |
S. Poole |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
L. Pilling |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB3, W6, LB2, B3) |
14 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 7 wickets, 40 overs) |
183 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Newman |
8 |
0 |
43 |
3 |
|
|
2 |
Reeves |
4 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Pearson |
8 |
2 |
22 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Roberts |
5 |
1 |
21 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Timms |
8 |
0 |
40 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Rundle |
4 |
0 |
27 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Howarth |
3 |
0 |
13 |
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. W. Pearson |
b Pilling |
18 |
(59) |
2 |
- |
1-34 |
|
2 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
b Hambridge |
22 |
(49) |
3 |
- |
2-45 |
|
3 |
R. P. Turner |
b Hambridge |
10 |
(24) |
- |
- |
5-68 |
|
4 |
I. Howarth * |
c and b Hambridge |
4 |
(3) |
1 |
- |
3-53 |
|
5 |
S. L. P. Dobner + |
c Barker b Ryan |
5 |
(5) |
1 |
- |
4-60 |
|
6 |
M. K. Reeves |
c S. Poole b Hambridge |
29 |
(25) |
5 |
1 |
6-104 |
|
7 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
c Hambridge b Ryan |
9 |
(18) |
- |
- |
7-109 |
|
8 |
M. S. Rundle |
not out |
16 |
(12) |
3 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
J. Newman-Robson |
c T. Poole b Hambridge |
4 |
(3) |
1 |
- |
8-125 |
|
10 |
G. J. Timms |
c and b Valentine |
4 |
(3) |
1 |
- |
9-129 |
|
11 |
C. D. Roberts |
b Clapham |
7 |
(7) |
- |
- |
10-152 |
|
|
Extras |
(W19, LB4, B1) |
24 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 34.4 overs) |
152 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
J. Floyd |
8 |
4 |
9 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Pilling |
8 |
3 |
21 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Ryan |
8 |
0 |
43 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Hambridge |
8 |
1 |
47 |
5 |
|
|
5 |
Valentine |
1 |
0 |
4 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
T. Poole |
1 |
0 |
14 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Clapham |
0.4 |
0 |
9 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: J. Newman-Robson Champagne Moment: M. K. Reeves’ big
straight six Buffet
Award: M. S. Rundle’s deep fried
Mars Bars (with extra chips) |
Opposition:
V027 / 20 Ground: G040 / 39 Captain: C007 / 59 |