“A Rapturous Evening Out”

Match: 14 / 337

Lost by 50 runs

Team	Total
Middleton Stoney CC	147 - 8
G. Timms 3 - 29, D. Shorten 2 - 25
FFTMCC	97
R. Turner 30, P. Mellor 16

Finding Middleton Stoney’s cricket ground isn’t an easy task. Especially if you didn’t have the foresight to plan ahead and study Google Map. Even if you had satnav, you don’t get a signal in these kind of parts (bumpkin land). After discovering the joys of having upmarket 4x4’s tailgating their car as they inadvertently drove down incorrect private driveways, Messrs Howarth and Timms opted for the sanctuary of a local pub to inquire on said directions. Actually, it wasn’t really a pub, but a Great Western Hotel in pub clothing.

On entering a delectable and beautifully lit bar area, the duo were greeted by a courteous and extremely uplifting lady who was troubled by the term ‘Magniers’. That would be the bottled cider stood behind you in the archaic glass cabinet my good lady. A couple of questions: “have you a beer garden – and would you know where the cricket pitch is?” (Noise of an inwardly sighing middle-aged woman in various throes of darkened melodrama) “You walked past the beer garden and everybody knows where the cricket ground is.” Excellent, well that’s that sorted then. Howarth and Timms then decided against any more delightfully cordial chit chat by walking out on to some cobbled stones to be seated on some metal chairs in the shade. Here they exchanged pleasantries on eternal happiness whilst not once mentioning the discolouration of the beer glasses.

MSCC on a warm July evening.

MSCC has a rather lovely location in Middleton Park near Bicester, which can be accessed along a rather lengthy private driveway. There are numerous large neon signs indicating as such on the adjacent highway, so to not actually (know) where the ground is, for want of better words, is utterly ridiculous. Bicester is also an excellent location to conduct an evening’s T20 when your journey takes in the Oxford ring road (currently under construction) and the A34 at rush hour – so hats off to all those who helped organise the event.

The Far from the MCC were already in the field and Chairman Bullock adorned in his wicketkeeping attire, long before Captain Timms continued his rich vein of form with the toss. After complaining about the arduous nature of being a builder, Mr. Shorten (4-0-25-2) ambled in to castle openers D. Simpson (0) and P. Julier (4) whilst reflecting on his chosen occupation. Thereafter, as a hail of cricket balls descended from the skies, it was all about protecting some cars under a nestle of trees, the antiquated but rather enchanting pavilion windows, and a gaggle of inebriated local women on the far boundary’s edge. R. Simpson struggled manifestly to 55 off about 3 balls, and S. Vadivale’s more mundane knock of 47 contained about 3 or 4 more. During this enriching passage of play, Timms tried turning to any of his available resources who might find it heavenly to destroy their bowling figures. Step forth Mr. Roberts (4-0-39-0) and Mr. Reeves (4-1-27-0).

Mr. Shorten (with dog) chats to a member of the FBI.

With a few hours lost during the search and rescue operations for the cricket ball(s) – Middleton encouraged the visitors “to get a move on” as the light “is never great at this [ground].” Many thanks to the hosts for their considerations whilst we looked for their balls in the thick of long grasses, among the spikes of nearby bushes and under the oily undersides of car chassis. And not forgetting the half a dozen times they requested a shift of the sightscreen positions.

Eventually, Howarth (4-0-25-1) and Timms himself (4-0-29-3) brought the curtain down on a most enjoyable spectacle for the local and aged support. MSCC registering a rather curtailed total of 147-8.

With the sun now dipping behind majestic oak trees, Mr. Carter began The MAD reply by getting himself stumped for 2. Mr. Mellor looked assured for his 16, whilst Mr. Turner resplendent for his 30. But with light now fading badly, Bullock (14) and Hotson (13*) now had to contend with erratic short stuff being propelled from the hand of the rather sprightly D. Cole (3-0-22-0). Notwithstanding the fact the two batsmen were struggling to see the ball, the bowler was extending the innings into eternal darkness by incrementing his run up from a further and further distance.

Paddy (right) had been camped out since dawn for the barbeque.

Young L. Moore (4-0-22-5) thrived in the conditions and once a door was ajar, both W. Harris (2-0-9-2) and himself were treated to FFTMCC batsmen venturing out from the pavilion with miner’s helmets (and attached torch lights). It was hard to decipher who was actually out in the middle at this point, but counting them back safely on their return we had: Mr. Shorten (golden), Mr. Reeves (2), Mr. Howarth (a run off his derrière), Mr. Timms (0) and Mr. Roberts (4). All of whom were full of praise for the chance to hone their batting talents using primarily their ears for guidance. MAD 97 all out.

Messrs Howarth and Timms precluded their day by bypassing the congenial barbeque arrangements, as both were hoping to secure a few words with their wives before they headed to bed past midnight.

’C. Athartic’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Middleton Stoney CC Played at Middleton Park, 30 July 2014 Middleton Stoney CC won the toss and elected to bat Middleton Stoney CC won by 50 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none

14 / 337 20 over match

Team	Middleton Stoney CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	D. Simpson	b Shorten	0		-	-	1-0
2	P. Julier	b Shorten	4		1	-	2-31
3	R. Simpson +	c Turner b Timms	55		7	3	3-88
4	S. Vadivale	c Shorten b Howarth	47		5	-	7-144
5	L. Moore	run out (Roberts/Bullock)	0		-	-	4-88
6	W. Harris	b Timms	14		1	1	5-111
7	G. Delaney	run out (Shorten/Bullock)	2		-	-	6-120
8	D. Cole *	c Roberts b Timms	8		1	-	8-144
9	G. Williams	not out	4		-	-	-
10	M. Moore	not out	1		-	-	-
11	J. Williams
	Extras	(NB3, W4, LB2, B3)	12
	TOTAL	(for 8 wickets, 20 overs)	147

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Shorten	4	0	25	2
2	Roberts	4	0	39	0
3	Reeves	4	1	27	0
4	Timms	4	0	29	3
5	Howarth	4	0	25	1

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	G. Carter	st R. Simpson b J. Williams	2	(5)	-	-	1-12
2	P. A. S. Mellor	c and b J. Williams	16	(17)	3	-	2-34
3	R. P. Turner	b L. Moore	30	(32)	4	-	3-58
4	M. Bullock +	b L. Moore	14	(21)	1	-	4-82
5	J. C. W. Hotson	not out	13	(11)	1	-	-
6	D. Shorten	b L. Moore	0	(1)	-	-	5-82
7	M. K. Reeves	b L. Moore	2	(3)	-	-	6-84
8	I. Howarth	c R. Simpson b Harris	1	(3)	-	-	7-87
9	G. J. Timms *	b L. Moore	0	(2)	-	-	8-88
10	C. D. Roberts	b Harris	4	(7)	-	-	9-97
11
	Extras	(W11, LB2, B2)	15
	TOTAL	(all out, 17 overs)	97

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	J. Williams	4	0	24	2
2	G. Williams	4	0	16	0
3	Cole	3	0	22	0
4	L. Moore	4	0	22	5
5	Harris	2	0	9	2

MOTM: R. P. Turner Champagne Moment: J. C. W. Hotson’s gorgeous cover driven four Buffet Award: C. D. Roberts’ air-fried chips with chill dip (extra hot)

Opposition: V079 / 01 Ground: G071 / 01 Captain: C022 / 21