“Bring on the Sunday Roasts”

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“Bring on the Sunday Roasts”

Match: 14 / 343

Lost by 6 wkts

Team	Total
FFTMCC	72
T. Smith 33

Isis CC	74 - 4
J. Hoskins 1 - 9

In a match reduced to 30 overs per side due to the weary and largely incompetent batting of the Far from the MCC, their customary opponents, Isis CC, reckoned on reducing their innings to 20 overs. In the end, they reduced it even further to 18.1 overs, but time aplenty to secure a comfortable and effortless margin of victory by 6 wickets. Game over, both sets of players shook hands, bid each other a Happy Xmas and a Happy New Year and disappeared among the arteries of Oxford’s choked and crumbling network of roads and country lanes….

Season over for The MAD, finally, after 31 games and 6 long months. That’s like half a year and even more if you consider nets, and other cricket related shit.

Time to put one’s feet up.

Earlier in the day, Skipper Timms continued his rich vein of form with the toss and saw his beleaguered team stuck into bat on one of Stanton St. John’s more placid and playable surfaces. The engine room of Pearson (2), Turner (6), Bullock (2) and Howarth (8) captured the imagination of England selectors and batting romantics alike as they demonstrated their almost limitless depth of stroke playing acumen; whilst the middle to lower order of Shorten (3), Webster (3), Timms (2), Hoskins (1*) and Roberts (2) did little more to snatch any accolades. It is however worth mentioning the seemingly impregnable fortress that J. Webster built around his stumps. And in doing so, only missed out on a glorious chance of recording The MAD’s longest duck* by “accidentally” hitting his twenty eighth delivery [silly boy] between two cover fielders…. Shame, his model of concentration shattered, he was out sometime later without registering another run.

With the lowly and disappointing addition of just 10 runs from the usually dependable and seasoned performer guesting by the name of E. Xtras, The MAD were indebted to a welcome knock of 33 from the #5 bat of T. P. W. Smith. His innings of watchful blocks and swats over cow thus ensured the away team’s victory target was elevated from 40 to 73 – and in doing so, the finishing time of this particular match was stretched from a proviso 14:45 to 15:45. Well done, him. Time for tea.

Chef Homer considers his latest non-pizza fiasco and dwindling popularity….

With the excitement of Homer Turner’s cricket teas quickly evaporating due to a paucity of pizza, The MAD batsmen contented themselves with a job well done and time for the bowlers to earn their crust [sic]. Chirped up a watching Giant Duck “….” “Agreed” said Mr. Webster, “time for other players to make a telling contribution.” “I can’t wait!” trilled Mr. Hoskins, “I just want to hit those wooden stump things out there and make those electronic bails light up like the best Birthday I never had.”

In reply, Isis coped well with the few balls that pitched somewhere in line, before belting the other crap to the boundary. The Skipper (6-2-22-1) bowled well off his two paces whilst a jaded Mr. Shorten (5-1-14-1) did okay – particularly in lieu of the fact he is now picked as a batsman (by his own accord). James (4-2-9-1) didn’t hit the wooden stump things as it turned out, but Mr. Roberts (3.1-0-23-1) did, exploding into celebration as those gaudy illuminated bails danced and twinkled in the air as R. Venkat (9) sloped out of view…. And then a short time after that, that was that, more or less. Game over. Season over. Thank fuck.

Poor man’s television….

And so… time to bring on the Sunday roasts once more. Time to relax back at weekends and reflect on yet another glowing season of underachievement and unsubstantiated sporting ambitions. Time for a holiday with the missus. Time for football and rugby to steal the limelight. And time, pretty soon, to start emailing opposition counterparts and start planning this bollocks all over again….

* - J. Hotson is the incumbent holder of the club’s Longest Recorded Duck (30 balls v OU Offices back in 2005).

‘The Fixture Secretary’

Blatchford

Far from the MCC versus Isis CC

Played at Stanton St. John, 14 September 2014

Isis CC won the toss and elected to field

Isis CC won by 6 wkts

Far from the MCC debuts: none

14 / 343

40 over match

Team	Far from the MCC

#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	J. W. Pearson	c Penhallurick b Wyatt	2	(9)	-	-	1-2
2	R. P. Turner	lbw b Ponsford	6	(20)	1	-	3-16
3	M. Bullock +	c Hudson b Wyatt	2	(5)	-	-	2-10
4	I. Howarth	lbw b Wyatt	8	(10)	2	-	4-20
5	T. P. W. Smith	b Hudson	33	(44)	6	-	6-64
6	D. Shorten	b Hudson	3	(20)	-	-	5-43
7	J. vdG. Webster	b Walter	3	(32)	-	-	7-66
8	G. J. Timms *	b Blatchford	2	(13)	-	-	8-67
9	J. D. Hoskins	not out	1	(15)	-	-	-
10	C. D. Roberts	b Wyatt	2	(15)	-	-	9-72
11
	Extras	(NB2, W2, B6)	10
	TOTAL	(all out, 30 overs)	72

Team	Isis CC

#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	Ravi	b Shorten	10	(18)	-	-	2-27
2	B. Shepherd	c Pearson b Timms	10	(29)	2	-	1-17
3	R. Venkat	b Roberts	22	(15)	2	1	3-45
4	S. Khawaja	not out	6	(22)	-	-	-
5	N. Khawaja +	lbw b Hoskins	11	(16)	2	-	4-59
6	D. Penhallurick *	not out	5	(5)	-	-	-
7	H. Hudson
8	N. H. R. Wyatt
9	J. Walter
10	R. Blatchford
11	K. Ponsford
	Extras	(NB3, W2, B5)	10
	TOTAL	(for 4 wickets, 18.1 overs)	74

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Timms	6	2	22	1
2	Shorten	5	1	14	1
3	Hoskins	4	2	9	1
4	Roberts	3.1	0	23	1

MOTM: T. P. W. Smith

Champagne Moment: C. D. Roberts’ wicket-taking delivery

Buffet Award: C. D. Roberts’ chicken madras curry (with extra garlic naan)

Opposition: V009 / 18

Ground: G009 / 04

Captain: C022 / 24