Far from the MCC fines 12.07.15 v Astons CC (a) won by 4 wkts

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Matt	Paranoia	About getting Golden Duck
	Being a Corporate Whore	Sporting FFTMCC Shorts
	Showboating	Behind Stumps
	Faux Humility	“Just doing my job” (re above)
			£1
Spam	Self Importance	“My quick single should be champagne moment”
	Impersonating Billy Liar	Self-importantly misrepresenting bowling figures
	Cob	A dropped bat is a thrown bat with a crap arm	50p
	Impersonating a Teacher	Do as I say not as I do
	Suicidal Running	Running out Russ
			£1.50
Moo	Dropped Catch		50p
	Being Outscored by Children x2	Both kids scored more in their matches	50p
	Being a Corporate Whore x2	FFTMCC Shorts AND T-Shirt	50p
	Fashion Incompetence	Gonads popping out of shorts
	Watch-face Avoidance	Wearing watch-strap with no actual watch
			£2
Emerson	Impersonating Howarth x2	Being dropped more than several times	50p
	Average Protection	Not giving Ralph any catching practice
	Tactical Delaying	Constant chattering
	Impersonating a French Wine	Burgundy face
	Losing Virginity	In Showers
	Comedy Running	Failure to complete winning run
			£1.75
Lucan	Faux Humility	Refusing to accept champagne moment award
	Impersonating a Frenchman	Blue and white striped T-shirt
	Injury Avoidance
	Comedy Throwing
	Name-Dropping	Angus Fraser
	Self Importance	Re above
	Self Importance	Pre-empting fines’ gavel
			£1.75
Bob	No-Ball Avoidance	Whilst umpiring
	Hypochondria	Whilst fielding on boundary
	Hearing Disorder	Inside edge on LBW
	Padding-up Avoidance
			£1.00
Russ	Impersonating Homer Simpson	Mistaking ball for pizza
	Hand Avoidance	Fielding
	Suicidal Running	Running out self
	Ball-Hogging
	Mincing	During warm-up
			£1.25
Lee	Dropped Catch		50p
	Poor shot placement	Picking out Ralph for low catch
	Backing-up Avoidance	Overthrows
	Dissing the Skipper	Suggesting Gary ended his spell
	Self Importance	Setting field
	Chuntering
			£1.75
Pearson	Lazy Running	“I’m not running another even if they misfield”
	Excessive Waterworks	Flooding helmet with sweat
	Impersonating the Statue of Liberty	Whilst fielding
	Excessive Laziness	“I can’t be arsed to bowl”
	Failure to See The Team Home
	Impersonating Howarth	Dropped multiple times
	Bullying an Old Man
	Clockwatching	During Fines
			£2.00
Mike	Opening Bowler No Wicket		50p
	Average Protection
	Bullying Spouse	Getting wife to do teas
			£1.00
Gary	Alcohol Problem	Unable to down pint without spillage
	Losing the Toss
	Being a Bully Victim	Lee
	Handshake Avoidance	With opposition skipper before game
	Umpiring Incompetence	“I can’t see”
	Alcohol Problem	Dribbling beer down T-shirt
	Spin Avoidance	Only one ball turned
			£1.75
		TOTAL	£16.75

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership < 25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber (anything) – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme (anything) – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2