“Another Rapturous Evening Out”
Match: 16
/ 397
Lost
by 31 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Middleton Stoney CC |
143 - 6 |
|
T. Smith 3 - 17 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
112 - 3 |
|
R. Hadfield 26*, D. Shorten
22 |
|
|
Middleton Stoney sounds
like a fictional village from a J. R. R. Tolkien novel, but is actually a reality
just 2.5 miles west of Bicester. It also represents the jewel in the crown of
long-winded, late afternoon journeys through Oxfordshire’s pitiful road network
following a less than spine tingling day in the office. Unless of course your
name is Mr R. P. Turner, you own your own printing press and live just down
the road. Team MAD have played in
the scenic and charming surrounds of Middleton Park twice before. They got a total
hammering in the darkness in 2014, but prevailed in the light in 2015. Henceforth,
there is very simple formula for which a degree of success can be gleaned
from the evening’s cricketing fare. Win the toss, bat first, and ensure your
batsmen can actually see the lacquered
red object before lengthening shadows give way to mining helmets and
moonlight.
Onto the action… after
an extended period of wanton fannying about and Skipper Shorten wins the
toss. Fantastic news. And we’re… having a… bowl. Oh, joy. A most brilliantly inventive,
well researched and inspired decision. During a quiet and
distinctly pedestrian opening, the scoreboard would read 42-0 after the first
2 overs. Mr Shorten (3-0-29-0) went for an inconsiderable 11, whilst Mr Howarth
was only slightly more profligate in going for 31. It is worth noting however,
that there were three excellent dot balls delivered during this passage of
play, and also, lest we forget, some magnificent ball searches undertaken by
the team – threshing around though the long grass and brambles a good
distance past an undistinguishable boundary line. After Mr R. Simpson’s
protracted and humble knock of 52 retired off 18 balls, the rest of the home
team added 81 runs with the addition of 10 extras. Bowling was tidy as a
whole, with Howarth’s (4-0-47-1) second spell mesmerising in bringing his
bowling average down from a workmanlike 31.00 to a modest and more satisfactory
11.75. Other standouts in the FFTMCC side were Mr J. W. Pearson (4-1-15-1)
who didn’t bowl at R. Simpson, Mr T. P. W. Smith (3-0-17-3) who didn’t bowl
at R. Simpson and Mr J. D. Hoskins (4-0-19-1) who did bowl a few at R. Simpson – and was understandably shocked and
saddened that the batsman retired before James inevitably claimed his wicket. A paltry 144 to chase in
the gloom with the excitable ambience of bats, owls and other forest denizens
chirping into life.
Mr R. P. Turner studies a floating red ball – can
it be eaten? In reply, openers Turner
(20) and Hill (9) coped admirably with a surfeit of bouncers and short stuff,
with Hill in particular, a baseball player by trade with little in the way of
cricketing nous or technique, delighting in the balls that tickled his whiskers
and grazed his spectacles. Ever the man to up a
tempo, Skipper Shorten (22) unfurled some lusty blows, before acute tiredness
and a childhood fear of the dark forced his early exit. Shame, for a fleeting
moment with balls sailing out the stadia, the more deluded members of Team
MAD dared believe. Then again, a casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows
that faith does not prove anything. Hobbit R. Hadfield (26*)
was now joined at the crease by Bilbo Howarth (20*), and not withstanding
that this could’ve been the most vertically challenged MAD partnership in
history – it was quite possibly the darkest too. Following much swishing
of the air, cursing and ball by ball adjustments to MAD night-goggles,
Middleton then opted to bring back their opening bowlers at the death with an
insubstantial 40 runs to defend off the final 12 deliveries. A grandstand
finish saw batsmen Hotson and Westmoreland look up to the night sky and thank
God they weren’t required out in the middle.
Mr N. Hill (batting) deftly manages to avoid a
brain injury and subsequent coma and probable death. The post-match ritual of
a non-vegetarian barbeque and home side speech was now observed, with wisdom concerning
certain rules and regulations not in keeping with localised law expanded to
all. The bar was also now open, whereupon Mr R. P. Turner and family could be
found, in jovial, nay animated discussion, regarding wife Madge’s outstanding
Ł100 bar chitty. With votes cast
concerning who did what and who didn’t do that much at all, the FFTMCC
returned borrowed torches after locating their cars and disappeared off into
the night. Mr Turner remained on at the ground after being alerted to spare
rolls and a supply of unloved Cumberland sausages on the coals. Further joy and eternal
happiness awaits this scribe tomorrow, as he returns to his soulless office and
fitful pangs of a wasted life, tempered slightly however, by such a rewarding
and gratifying cricketing experience the previous evening. ‘Mr. D. Pan’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Middleton
Stoney CC Played at Middleton
Park, 28 July 2016 Far from the MCC won the
toss and elected to field Middleton Stoney CC won by 31 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
16 / 397 20 over match |
|
Team |
Middleton Stoney CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
R. Simpson |
retired |
52 |
(18) |
4 |
5 |
- |
|
2 |
M. Ford-Langstaff |
b Hoskins |
14 |
(11) |
3 |
- |
1-49 |
|
3 |
J. Springer |
c Hadfield b Pearson |
3 |
(9) |
- |
- |
2-70 |
|
4 |
A. Willcock |
c Shorten b Smith |
34 |
(30) |
3 |
2 |
3-114 |
|
5 |
S. Jackson † |
c Hadfield b Smith |
15 |
(29) |
1 |
- |
5-125 |
|
6 |
J. Mumtaz |
c Shorten b Howarth |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
4-119 |
|
7 |
P. Wordsworth |
not out |
13 |
(15) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
8 |
O. Selway |
b Smith |
1 |
(5) |
- |
- |
6-136 |
|
9 |
S. Midson |
not out |
1 |
(3) |
- |
- |
- |
|
10 |
J. Ford-Langstaff |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
S. Lee * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB2, W4, LB3, B1 |
10 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 6 wickets, 20 overs) |
143 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Shorten |
3 |
0 |
29 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Howarth |
4 |
0 |
47 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Hoskins |
4 |
0 |
19 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Pearson |
4 |
1 |
15 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Smith |
3 |
0 |
17 |
3 |
|
|
6 |
Westmoreland |
2 |
0 |
12 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Notes: R. Simpson retired at
70-1 (5.3 overs) |
||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
R. P. Turner |
b Midson |
20 |
(26) |
4 |
- |
2-35 |
|
2 |
N. S. Hill |
c Jackson b Midson |
9 |
(20) |
- |
- |
1-28 |
|
3 |
R. J. B. Hadfield |
not out |
26 |
(37) |
- |
- |
- |
|
4 |
D. Shorten * |
b Willcock |
22 |
(15) |
1 |
1 |
3-65 |
|
5 |
I. Howarth |
not out |
20 |
(26) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
6 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J. W. Pearson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
T. P. W. Smith |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
M. Bullock † |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
J. D. Hoskins |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB4, W6, LB1, B4 |
15 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 3 wickets, 20 overs) |
112 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Selway |
4 |
1 |
12 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
J. Ford-Langstaff |
4 |
0 |
12 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Midson |
2 |
0 |
14 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Wordsworth |
2 |
0 |
19 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Willcock |
2 |
0 |
10 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Mumtaz |
2 |
0 |
7 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Simpson |
1 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
|
|
8 |
M. Ford-Langstaff |
1 |
0 |
10 |
0 |
|
|
9 |
Springer |
1 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
|
|
10 |
Lee |
1 |
0 |
7 |
0 |
|
|
MOTM: T. P. W. Smith Champagne Moment: D. Shorten’s maximum
into the trees over deep cow Buffet
Award: I. Howarth’s sumptuous steak
and kidney pies (with cheap gravy) |
Opposition:
V079 / 03 Ground: G071 / 03 Captain: C016 / 21 |