“MAD Lose Smug Veneer,

After Last Week’s Humbling of Village Hillbillies”

Match: 16 / 406

Lost by 49 runs

Team	Total
OCCSCC	186 - 7
G. Timms 3 - 29, C. Roberts 2 - 24
FFTMCC	137
I. Howarth 58, R. Turner 18

Sandwiched between two morale sapping belts of torrential rain, MAD dreams of ticker tape parades and open top bus celebrations would die. There was to be no fairy tale engraving of the Friendly Cup to mark The MAD’s nineteenth season in existence. No cup to display proudly in the non-existent trophy cabinet at the ground we don’t have. Nothing. Just empty feelings of nothingness to replace the anticipation and excitement of what might have been or could have been. Bugger.

Following on from hard-fought victories in their respective FC semi-finals, the alphabetically abbreviated OCCSCC became the visitors to the similarly abbreviated FFTMCC. Both teams had never played each other, nor probably heard of each other before this year, but TTIAAFFE (then there is always a first for everything).

In the lead up to the match, home team rationale was an advantage maybe gained by inviting the Council Boys to bat first on a typical Brasenose wicket. After all, there is bugger all in the way of bounce to those in the know, but for the uninformed, such as the OCC, they would undoubtedly be found out. Henceforth, and in perfect synch with this hypothesis, Groundsman Dan’s prepared a nice pacy deck with plenty of bounce. Bugger.

Extracting some bounce: H. Ghani (6-1-16-1) for the OCCSCC

Skipper Timms had earlier snapped a six match tossing negative and was rewarded by a county class catch in the slips by J Pearson off Newman (8-0-34-1). This was followed moments later by Mr Roberts’ inswinging wicket first ball. Bob (5-2-24-2) seemed to be hitting his straps in some style, which is until he became the first to suffer some serious tap off W. Mehmood’s bat. Wasim’s industrial sized plank would become increasingly audible over the next 20 overs, with MAD fielders investing an increasing amount of time amongst hedgerows and under cars. Wasim’s boundary embraced tonk of 88 out of 115 mercifully came to an end when he holed out to Howarth who teetered on the deep midwicket boundary. Hurrah.

Spin, flight, gloop, darts and pie seemed to stall the OCCSCC innings for a while with veteran J Hoskins’ (8-2-34-0) seasoned aperitif complementing Mr Timms’ (8-1-29-3) blossoming talent with thin-crust. Alas, namesake U. Mehmood (35*) would later turn the OCC screw by climbing into some of D Shorten (7-1-41-0) and J Pearson’s (4-0-21-1) undercooked offerings. There could be no doubting their efforts with the ball, just an acknowledgement of their rustiness due to clambering the Yorkshire Dales and imbuing ones insides with the delights of French wine. Hic.

Settling down for an absorbing run-chase.

With both teams retreating to the pavilion to chow down on Marge Turner’s excellent Springfield spread, the tin numbers displaying 1, 8 and 6 were left to hang on the tired old scoreboard outside. The considered opinion was that of a tough run chase to come. The considered opinion was darned bloody prophetic. Bugger.

Tea also provided an opportunity for both groups of players to assemble for the obligatory team photo. Or, in Dave Emerson’s case (below right), an opportunity to pop across the road to the hairdressers for a wave and set – naturally at the expense of actually being in the team photo. Dur.

The FFTMCC got off to a steady start until openers Pearson (10) and Ainsworth (14) opted to unsteady the steadiness. Thereon, things were steadily steadied by Turner and Howarth as they stroked their way to the drinks interval on a steadfast 80-2. Good beginnings. But then wasn’t this pretty much exactly where we were the last week against the Astons? Erm… yes. And just like the previous Sunday, bad things then happened. Bugger.

Following Turner’s (18) demise to a plumb LBW, Howarth watched in despair as Emerson (8), Shorten (0) and Westmoreland (0) all came and went. The MAD engine room hadn’t so much misfired as simply not even started. Timms (8) brought that innocent and optimistic bravado to the crease, but then he was gone to. 127-7 and overs and batsmen dwindling away. OCC bowling was tight and on point, with M. Saqib (5-0-16-2) and U. Mehmood (7-1-21-2) the standouts, but really, take your pick, they all delivered. Bugger.

Mr Pearson (batting) drives one adroitly through the covers.

MAD hopes died soon after with Howarth’s (58) strangely mature innings ending in a far more familiar way (caught). It was shit or bust at this point to be fair – unfortunately it was shit. Newman (2) and Roberts (4) then unravelled to leave Mr Hoskins (2*) stranded and all alone, this despite James having the best pair of light-enhancing Oakley sunglasses this club has ever seen. Victory to the Council Chappies from the northern districts of Oxfordshire to the tune of 49 runs. Bugger all to The MAD.

Regardless of the final outcome, this Cup Competition has been a fun distraction to the usual hors d’oeuvre of regular Sunday friendlies and midweek tonkathons – and I think I speak for the club as a whole when I say it has been a pleasure to be a part of. We look forward to making rivalries anew next year and going one stage further. Yee-har.

In summation, congratulations to the OCCSCC, you deserved the spoils on the day, and a respectful doff of The MAD baggy for your company and sportsmanship shown throughout (sound of generous applause with stirrings of quiet sniffling and crying in the background).

‘Spam’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Oxfordshire County Council Staff CC Played at Brasenose, 4 September 2016 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to field Oxfordshire County Council Staff CC won by 49 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none

16 / 406 Friendly Cup Final 40 over Friendly Cup match

Team	Oxfordshire County Council Staff CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	M. Addy	c Shorten b Roberts	1		-	-	1-1
2	W. Mehmood	c Howarth b Timms	88		12	3	5-117
3	H. Ghani	c Pearson b Newman-Robson	0		-	-	2-2
4	I. Shoukat	b Roberts	10		2	-	3-21
5	T. Khan †	b Timms	9		-	-	4-100
6	B. Parish †	b Timms	19		1	-	6-135
7	U. Mehmood *	not out	35		4	1	-
8	M. Saqib	c Hoskins b Pearson	10		1	-	7-156
9	S. Kelly	not out	6		-	-	-
10	W. Bard
11	T. Ehulam
	Extras	W4, LB4	8
	TOTAL	(for 7 wickets, 40 overs)	186

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Newman-Robson	8	0	34	1
2	Roberts	5	2	24	2
3	Shorten	7	1	41	0
4	Hoskins	8	2	34	0
5	Timms	8	1	29	3
6	Pearson	4	0	21	1

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	J. W. Pearson	c Kelly b Shoukat	10	(20)	-	-	1-22
2	L. G. Ainsworth	c Saqib b Ghani	14	(28)	1	-	2-28
3	R. P. Turner	lbw b Saqib	19	(48)	1	-	3-85
4	I. Howarth	c Addy b W. Mehmood	58	(65)	6	-	8-129
5	D. Emerson	c and b Saqib	8	(16)	1	-	4-102
6	D. Shorten	lbw b Kelly	0	(2)	-	-	5-110
7	M. T. Westmoreland †	b Kelly	0	(6)	-	-	6-111
8	G. J. Timms *	b U. Mehmood	8	(15)	1	-	7-127
9	J. Newman-Robson	b U. Mehmood	2	(6)	-	-	9-132
10	J. D. Hoskins	not out	2	(4)	-	-	-
11	C. D. Roberts	b W. Mehmood	4	(6)	-	-	10-137
	Extras	W3, LB4, B5	12
	TOTAL	(all out, 36 overs)	137

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Ghani	6	1	16	1
2	Shoukat	6	0	16	1
3	U. Mehmood	7	1	21	2
4	Ehulam	4	0	32	0
5	Kelly	6	0	21	2
6	Saqib	5	0	16	2
7	W. Mehmood	2	0	7	2
Note: B. Parish kept wicket for overs 1-20, T. Khan thereafter

MOTM: I. Howarth Champagne Moment: J. D. Hoskins’ running catch on the boundary Buffet Award: D. Shorten’s omelette aux fines herbes (rocket leaf side)

Opposition: V091 / 01 Ground: G040 / 56 Captain: C022 / 52